Let's Chat: The Year 2020
The year 2020 will be one for the history books. Fires, floods, a pandemic, an election that made the world hold its breath. It’s been big! And those are just the newsworthy events.
All of our personal lives have been impacted in one way or another. We had to adapt to a new world, one we had never had to face before. The flow on impact of so much change has kept so many people on their toes.
I know for me and people in my life, there have been so many lessons learnt and personal growth - because one thing you can count on is when times are tough, there is so much to learn.
We wanted to create a space here to allow people to air their frustrations with this, the hard times and fears. We also want to hear from everyone and see what the major takeaways were, have positives come from this experience too?
Chat away:
What are some of the things that have been really hard for you this year?
What are the good things you are taking away from 2020?
Comments
This year I found out my dad had stage 4 prostate cancer (he rarely had checkups before so we had no idea) and it's been awfully strange dealing with the prospect of him passing away so soon. I feel like I have so much I need to resolve before it happens? We never had a good relationship, which makes things incredibly complicated, but I still love him as my dad, and this news gave me a whirlwind of 1000 different emotions and it's all been so confusing and exhausting to figure out. All of this has really made me really re-evaluate my life and priorities, and I know there is much to work on with our relationship, or I might regret it for the rest of my life. I think this stress + anxiety over doing well enough at uni (needing an 85+ average WAM) and being mistreated at work have really had its toll on my mental health this year, but I'm glad that I'm at a stage now where I can consciously make the effort to actually self care and give myself a break without feeling like it's "wrong". This has been a huge change for me and I hope many others have also come to the realisation that their mental health is incredibly important and worth nurturing. ❤️
That sounds like an incredibly difficult year to have on its own, let alone have happen simultaneously during 2020/Covid @Gbear. I am so sorry to hear about your dad getting cancer. It's incredibly difficult for us when our loved ones get sick, and often we can feel a bit helpless to do anything in the situation. It really beautiful that you've been able to take some time to really focus on being with your dad, and working on that relationship, as you mentioned. Are their any lovely memories that you have of some of the stuff that you've done together recently that you would want to share with us? 💖
I'll be seeing a psych soon to unpack all of these layers so I think that's another good thing to take from 2020, since it's been years since I last went to therapy. I think reading posts on this forum also helps contextualise my problems to remind me that I'm not alone in dealing with all these complications, so I'm grateful for that as well.
hey @Gbear, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad, and it seems like that you've had a lot of other stuff on your plate as well this year with uni and work.
For what it's worth, I think that you are doing a great job of handling everything, both in setting out these priorities and also recognising the need to care for your own mental health and wellbeing; I hope that your first session with the psych goes well!
I also think you could consider being more gentle with yourself in terms of what you should or shouldn't be doing with your dad; our relationships with our parents can be really messy and complicated. It makes sense that you want to have a good relationship with your dad and to connect with him, but it also makes sense that you would be having a lot of other difficult emotions about this, and I think it's okay to take your time to process and give yourself space to feel them, as well.
This year has been hard for me because of the lockdown. The lockdown was difficult for me because it was a massive unexpected change and I don’t handle change that well because of one of my disabilities. And during the lockdown my 16th birthday wasn’t even celebrated. After the lockdown in Queensland ended my last grandparent, who was the only one I knew and loved very much passed away. And I’ve lost friends and said goodbye to too many people. Plus on top of this I’m currently watching my favourite Aunty die from dementia.
The good stuff about this year is that I’ve got a job, I’m doing a sport I absolutely love and after Christmas I’m getting my driving license.
What are some of the things that have been really hard for you this year?
- Not seeing my friends and not getting the first year uni experience that i thought i would
What are the good things you are taking away from 2020?
- Meeting new people, volunteering, and growing up!
What are some of the things that have been really hard for you this year?
Saying goodbye to my treatment team, feeling alone, coping with pain, trying to keep safe, getting through online study
What are the good things you are taking away from 2020?
Volunteering, meeting new people
@Lost_Space_Explorer5 Your resilience to all the huge changes that have occurred in your life is quite inspiring. It has been such a weird year for the world, and a lot of changes have come into play so I think you have done a great job at adapting to the change and pushing through.
It is also so nice to have you apart of the RO team, the community admires the support you give
What are some of the things that have been really hard for you this year?
For me I think it’s adjusting to the way we have had to live and we’ve had to do it so many times this year especially in Victoria. We went from full lockdown to out of lockdown to back in lockdown to out of lockdown (for good I hope).
At times I have found coming out of lockdown almost as hard as going into it, constantly having to think about how you are doing things, do I have my mask, am I allowed to visit this person, how long can I stay in this place for, how many people can we see, did I clean that, is that place open, what are the new rules?
It is getting better now, but the last 3 months has been a bit of a mess in my head, having to always be ON. That was a challenge for me.
I think also because covid through a spanner in the works of what would already be a busy year. With moving house, new jobs, considering closing my business for good, small humans (and even tinier humans!) just a heap of stuff that if that happened in an ordinary year, it would still be crazy and almost unmanageable.
Not being able to see friends and family too, at the start of this year/end of last year I really started stepping out of my comfort zones (home, footy, work) to meet new people. Unfortunately just as I started to get comfy with it the world shut down and none of these options were available anymore. And also not being able to see my family/mentors and the uncertainty around when we would be able to see each other again. At some points it was scary thinking about what may come each day. I went to bed at night worried about what tomorrow would look like.
What are the good things you are taking away from 2020?
Spending more time with my immediate family, we definitely spent a lot of time together at home no question about that.
I also got a chance to kind of reflect on how I’m doing now in terms of my mental health, and how I am doing much better now than I have been, and if isolation and the pandemic happened a few years ago I may not of coped so well, that was a huge takeaway from me, that it really demonstrated how much i’ve grown and gotten better over the last little while.
I’ve been able to adapt to change more and work my way through challenges a little calmer.
I also found out that I really value company and getting to have Sunday lunches and little things like that. They are things that are important to me. Being around others.
Also, it’s ok to not be busy all the time, and not being busy doesnt diminish your worth either! I used to want to get everything done and do everything, and now I realise it doesn’t matter so much. Having a Saturday home to play uno or do a puzzle is perfectly ok. You don’t have to be out and about on some crazy adventures all the time.
Contradicting my last point here.... it was cool that I did get to spend more time exploring the lands I live on and learning about that.
PS. Bold was being weird.
Aw thank you everyone for sharing how 2020 has been for you. You're all such strong people and I hope that you all get a chance to reflect on how much you've had to manage, but that you're still standing and can even see positives.
What are some things that have been really hard for you this year?
I really struggled during lockdown, not being about to cuddle my loved ones or know when I could see them was heart-breaking for me. I really missed being able to plan things, and move around freely. I think I'm still just emerging out of having a "social isolation brain" and it could take me some time but I am glad that I can do some things now that are good for my mental wellbeing.
What are the good things you are taking away from 2020?
I am taking a new appreciation for simple things in life that I guess I took for granted before. I realise how much my loved ones mean to me and that I don't need much in life, as long as I have them. I think this year has also taught me to be resilient and go with the flow of life a little more.
What are some of the things that have been really hard for you this year?
My grandfather passed away this year and it was quite emotionally hard for me. In my dreams, he’s always alive. I feel a lot better now.
I think it’s really hard for me to worry about financial issues. I am an international student who graduated this year but I haven’t been able to get a permanent job. I keep on applying and hopefully there will be good news.
What are the good things you are taking away from 2020?
I have volunteered in 3 places. I have started my own Facebook page. I feel like I’m slowly getting hand of adulting. I’m glad that my family and me are safe from covid.
I really hope you have some good luck with getting a permanent job. I know landing a job can be really challenging so keep trying!
And that is awesome that you have volunteered at different places. That shows that you have initiative, work hard and are willing to offer your time to help others
What are some of the things that have been really hard for you this year?
Caring for my family members was hard for me last year, but this year was also challenging. We had to do more home-based things because the hospital my sister goes to would not allow her to receive treatment there. My grandma also got worse health-wise and we had to stop caring for her at home. I think it was the right decision, although sometimes I disagree with some of the decisions they make based on my experience caring for her at home.
My godmother also experienced a return of her brain cancer which was upsetting. What we have heard is that it's treatable so I hope she will get better.
My health kind of went down the toilet this year too. Just when I thought I was done with something, something else would happen, so I had to have lots of appointments. Nothing much more can be done for my eyes and vision, which is about what I was expecting but I'm still hopeful that I can have repeat a treatment that helped me before. I know it's not a cure and there will always be flare-ups but it helped me function better temporarily.
Another hard thing was we had to stop using one of our properties as a holiday house and we have so many memories there.
What are the good things you are taking away from 2020?
Some good and exciting things happened to me this year. I know that I've helped a lot of people through the work I've done and will continue to do so going into the new year. I feel like I'm moving forward after being stuck for so long. I also got to learn a lot of new things.
Something I have done this year was keep a notebook of things I have learned and reflections about myself. I know I'll look back on it in years to come.
I've also become a lot more sure comfortable with myself, my strengths and my values. There were plenty of opportunities for me to use my strengths and what I have learned.
