Recovery; our journey to well being

Recently I've noticed some positive steps forward within my recovery journey and I really wanted to share them here for everyone and I wanted to ask the community if anyone else had a positive experience or step in their recovery they are/ were proud of and are comfortable sharing 🙂

So as you may have seen in "What are you proud of" I was recently talking about my positive appointment with my psychiatrist and how I was able to communicate more freely and easily with them. This was really the first time I was able to communicate clearly and articulate how I was feeling etc.

I also spoke about how I've been able to utilize the tools I've learnt in therapy in everyday life. So being able to think and act in a rational wise mind state, where I'm balancing both my emotions and logic at the same time.

Today I saw my psychologist and I hadn't had time to write an email with what I wanted to talk about in session. So I was kind of going in without a back up written down. But despite that I again was able to communicate with her effectively and remain engaged the entire session! This is a huge positive for me as when I first started seeking help I would have panic attacks and be unable to look or communicate with the health professional! So I feel it is an applicable moment to share in my recovery journey to well being 🙂

Recently things have felt harder for me with my mental health. Sleeping in longer, staying up later. Struggling to find the motivation to do the things that are good for me.

So what do we do when we really just want to stay in bed all day and leave our responsibilities behind? Do we do it once and then consequently do it the following day and eventually fall into a bad habit again? Or do we try and power through even though our heart isn't in it?

I've found myself in a bit of a bad habit and my mood is reflecting this - I'm feeling low, I have no desire to do anything productive - I have a basket of clean clothes overflowing because I work up the energy and motivation to wash my clothes but I never quite manage to get them folded and put away - it feels too hard mainly because I need to go through my wardrobe and clean out what I don't wear anymore! So there's a bit of a layer effect going on, putting away the clothes in physically a challenge because I have so many, but cleaning them out feels daunting because it's such a big task and "what if I want to wear it again?" So consequently I end up feeling annoyed and sad about this basket of washing being there taunting me but I don't have the desire or motivation to deal with it.

So what do we do in these situations? Where the task feels too daunting and we're really struggling with our mental health? What can we say to ourselves or do for ourselves to help us feel better and get that washing folded?

Hey @Bee , thanks for reaching out in this thread - did you read up over what you'd written a few months ago? I wonder if it was helpful at all reading over your own words about the journey of recovery, and the up, down, all around, nature of it? 

I can hear the place you're in.. and I can totally relate to it myself. The cycle of no motivation is a really quick one to fall into, and a hard one to get out of. 

What you said about staying in bed one day, and then it becoming a habit, I find interesting.. it is of course something that could easily happen. 

But the opposite is true too - if you get up one day at a reasonable time, and start a morning routine (it can be anything.. making breakfast, washing face, walking outside and looking at the sky for a few minutes.. reading a few pages of a book..) - whatever the routine is, once you've done it a few times, it will also become a habit.

The best way I know to break lack of motivation, is to do an action FIRST and wait for the motivation to arrive later. 

One of the best lessons I've learnt in my mental health journey is that motivation follows action - action does not follow motivation. Which is counter intuitive, but true.

The other thing I would say about all of this, is that a day off, and rest, is really important. But it has to be categorised as that in your mind to be effective...

These days I am really intentional about my self - care.  If I want a day of rest, I schedule in a sleep-in for a particular day, and maybe plan one or two nice things to do on that day -  order food, walk to a cafe for a coffee, spend a bit of time cleaning.. whatever it is that will help me to feel like I've engaged in self-care, and not just avoided doing other things in my life.. and thus feeling shitty and lazy. 
That way, you can have your day off from your responsibilities, and not feel horrible about it (because it was planned). In fact you might feel a little buzz of achievement from doing some nice things for yourself. 

For me cleaning my room is an act of self-care, because i know that i feel much more at peace when it's tidy! 

I hope something in this ramble helps.. !
I'm trying to say a little bit of "just do it" - nike style, and a little something about the power of re-framing things in your mind so that they work WITH you not against you.

@Bee My wardrobe has sections so I'll focus on one at a time and do it over a couple of days. I find it less overwhelming that way. As for whether you'll wear a piece of clothing again, think about where you last wore it. Will it suit any other places you are likely to go in the next 6 months or will need for a job? If not, it can go. Folding washing can be exhausting. I find towels the most difficult. Try for 10 minutes and stop. Switching to another activity gives your brain a rest and after 10 minutes, you can fold another item or two until it's all folded. Same process can work for putting it away and anything else needing to be done. It helps with fatigue too because it keeps you moving and blood flowing. 

just had a read over the thread again ! you guys  are so inspiring !! 

oh god @gina-RO i get up at 6ammmm tiring i must say ! 

This thread needs some more love...

I've felt some more sadness recently and some of it has felt reallly hard to break free from, and I know it's such a common thing with mental health, so I wanted to check in with people and ask what do you do when an emotion feels super big and heavy?

There are helplines and self-care plans/ safety plans we can use, but what about when these aren't feeling like an option or we've tried them all and still feeling sad? I know it happens, it's part of life.

One thing I've found super helpful when feelings are feeling so big and huge and taking up all of my energy, is validation from others, sometimes this might come from friends in conversation, or I might go to a helpline (My go to right now is KHL webchat) and I might put in the questionnaire that I need to be heard or validated. For me, that enables me to get the support or love I need without having to directly ask for it using words 🙂

Your turn community: what do you do when an emotion feels super big and heavy?

when emotions get super big and heavy ill talk to khl and my counsellor always makes a joke or something to help me 🙂 RO as well when i just need to talk out something that’s on my mind. when things are super heavy it’ll usually be contacting G and whatever happens from there !

i agree with you !  @Bee

I wanted to reflect upon an experience I've had recently in which relates so well to wellbeing.

So I had an appt with my psych and there was a new feeling for me, and it was a positive one but because I hadn't felt it much before it felt awkward to experience. It was like I'm so used to emotions hurting or feeling negative that I forgot what positive and pure emotions feel like. The feeling came after we came to see that I am managing nearly full-time hours and I'm managing it well - I'm learning new things and I'm feeling more confident within myself - which is something I thought impossible for a long time! Sure I find it hard to be confident in myself at the best of times, but it's normal to not feel confident 100% of the time.

So I want to ask the community what is a step in your recovery that you've made recently?
Maybe you've just reached out for help, or you've connected with a professional you like. Every step matters. Even acknowledging a lapse or relapse is a positive step. No matter what it is, I'd like to talk about it here because recovery matters

@Bee  This is so amazing to read!! 

Go you! So happy to hear this amazing step in your recovery journey. 

It's a good one to come back to when you have an off day in the future. 

Keen to hear other people's steps if people want to share theirs too 

I had an important conversation I needed to have with someone and I wasn't sure how it would go but now we are both on the same page and things can start to improve! 

@Bee At least you know that part of you exists, and that if you were that way once, you can be that way again! 

And yes the reframing has to work for you  - if you feel like you've been lazy and unproductive, maybe you need a different kind of self-care activity. 

Maybe doing an hour or two on the forums is a form of self-care for you! Or maybe applying for a job is a self-care activity! You can schedule in those things too. 

With the action and then motivation stuff - it's very true that you need to act before you start to think too much. 

Which is why morning routines are really powerful because they get you moving first thing in the morning, and once you've done a few things in the morning, you feel more motivated to continue. When i used to exercise in the mornings, i would leave my runners and work out clothes by my bed, so that as soon as my alarm went off I would absent-mindedly put them all on and before I even knew what was happening, I'd be out the door.

My morning routine at the moment is  - 6.30am, alarm goes off. Go make a coffee, and breakfast, put on  a podcast, jump in the shower, put on my clothes, and walk to the train station! It takes me about an hour and a half because i'm VERY slow in the mornings, but I actually really look forward to my podcasts, and my coffee! There is no need for my brain to engage much while this is happening because it's the same every day. 

@Bee what an awesome thread!! 

@lokifish Thank you for tagging me 🙂 

@N1ghtW1ng I find it really inspiring how you've thrown yourself into your special interest, I think it's really awesome that you're so passionate about this 🙂 

What is one thing you have learnt through your journey of recovery? 

That the body always wants to save you. Whatever pain and trauma and danger you put your body through, it always fights so very very hard to survive and to function as well as it possibly can and I'm so grateful for that. 

How do you keep mentally well? 

By finding reasons to stay alive, like my siblings, and by journaling and listening to music that makes me feel like the world is okay for a few minutes. 

Do you have a favourite quote or piece of advice that has been given to you? 

I have three!! One is the quote (idk where it's from, I saw it on a picture at my counsellor's office) that goes "Life is tough, but darling, so are you." 

Another is a quote from Doctor Who which is: "900 years of time and space, and I never met anyone who wasn't important." 

And finally, a friend once told me, "You're going to be happy one day, because you deserve to be," and that's really stuck with me. 

I think this is a really relevant topic for quite a few of us right now, actually.

@scared01 @DruidChild @j95 @redhead @mrmusic @Birdeye @N1ghtW1ng @letitgo anyone wanna share their answers?