[CHAT] #BIWEEK - Awareness, acceptance and visbility!
The day that this blog goes live, the 23rd of September, marks International
Bisexual Day. It’s also a part of Bisexual Awareness Week, which was
created with the aim of achieving wider acceptance of bisexuality.
I’ve identified as bisexual for a little over 6 years now and to say that it hasn’t
exactly been a straightforward journey would be a bit of an understatement. I
never questioned my sexuality as a kid, always assuming that I was straight by
default, until I suddenly ended up with a huge crush on a girl I was friends with
at the age of 15. Even as a child of a LGBT parent who had grown up with it as a
big part of my life, this realization brought on a lot of different feelings of
confusion, frustration and worry.
It took me a while, but eventually I reached a place where I accepted who I am.
Most of the people I’ve come out to have been cool about it, but that doesn’t
mean that I haven’t gotten the occasional strange/borderline biphobic question
or comment. For example, receiving a Facebook message from a school friend
out of the blue asking if I’m “still bi” when I got my first boyfriend was a moment
that I wouldn’t really want to relive. Curiosity about other people’s sexuality is
normal, but we need to remember to be respectful about how we talk about it.
No matter what your sexuality is, we all have our own process of coming to
terms with what it means to us. We’re the ones who get to choose what labels we
use, if any, as well as how we define those labels.
Want to know a bit more about coming to terms with your own sexuality, learn
about different sexualities and how we can treat all different sexualities with
respect?
Come and join @safari93 and I when we chat about it on Monday 28th,
8pm AEST!
Wow! That went way too quickly!
Do you have more to discuss?
Do you have a burning question you want to explore answers to with us?
Make a post in the forums and let's talk about it over the next few days 🙂
Thanks @Chessca_H and @safari93
and an honorable mention to
For some truly excellent, insightful posts. Especially considering you're brand new here!
So what have we learned tonight?
Sexuality is how someone identifies, who they are attracted to and also on what level a person may experience sexuality. It can be fluid, although for some it may remain the same over a lifetime.
It seems more likely as not that people will question their sexuality. This experience is also very different – some people suddenly realise how they identify, while others gradually work towards that understanding. Others are more fluid – but even that can be different, happening gradually or experiencing it as something that changes slightly with each day or week
What most of us have learned is to not be too scared, and that you will eventually come to a more secure and understanding place. Other advice: only you can define your own identity, learn about what it means to be LGBT, don’t push others to come out too soon, and you don’t have to put up with questions that make you uncomfortable. Let go of preconceived ideas about who you should be – nobody can tell you who you are but you
Unfortunately, some stereotypes continue to stick around. Apparently all gay men are feminine and all lesbians are butch, bisexuals need to figure themselves out and asexuals apparently need to stop being so preachy about sex! As for other sexualities, apparently they don’t even exist!
Contrary to what some believe, stereotyping is part of a larger issue that can be dangerous and harmful to LGBT folks. From increased danger of violence to higher rates of mental illness, stereotyping can have harmful effects on the community. However, LGBT people have found humour in these stereotypes and something to bond over. Respect is important, however, and it’s important to see the person first, not their sexuality
What about visibility? Well, there are still some pretty extreme views out there, like people believing homosexuality doesn’t exist at all, or that it is symptomatic of mental illness. Then there are the more common ones about bisexuality being an invalid orientation, or people not even being aware of it since their only understanding is of straight and gay. And of course there are those who identify outside of gay and bisexual, and knowledge of these identities is rarer still. Depending on whether these views are motivated by a lack of knowledge or even fear, they can have different effects on the people who identify as LGBT and hear these views
However, for the most part, people are beginning to learn, talk and understand more about sexuality. The idea that it is on a spectrum, as opposed to a bunch of categories, is catching on, and people are finding words and descriptions for their experiences. Of course, we still have some way to go, but at least we are going somewhere positive. Each generation seems to be more open-minded than the last
As for coming out, all of us seem to have experience with it, whether it was us coming out or someone coming out to us. We all seem to have been pretty accepting and casual about it, which is great – coming out can be such a nerve-wracking experience.
But how should we support someone after they come out? You guys are on it – don’t question them, let them define who they are. Learn about their sexual identity, support their definition of themselves, and don’t just blurt out how they identify to everyone and anyone you meet. It’s sort of like any other relationship – love, respect, support and understanding is key
Thanks so much for coming out everyone, and also to @Ben-RO and @Chessca_H for facilitating with me! You've all been excellent tonight, and I hope you enjoy the rest of your night 
Thanks for doing such a great job guys! And thanks to everyone for joining in! I had an awesome time reading everyones responses!
some good tips here tonight, Thanks guys! wish I was able to come earlier
What advice do you have for people who want to be supportive of their loved ones’ sexual identity?
I think it's important to be somewhat casual about it - don't use the person's sexuality as your only reference point when being with them. They are a fully rounded person, after all. It also helps to learn a bit about how they identify and what that means for you - it also shows that you care enough about them to be sensitive to their needs
@Troy true! That's something you learn once you leave highschool - that there are other people out there who won't make you feel terrible for identifying a certain way
Have you ever opened up about your sexuality to someone else? How did it go? Or has someone else ever opened up about their sexuality to you?
Me, again. Hahaha. But you guys already know how it went from my previous answers. We also had ACON visit my TAFE class, which opened up a whole world to those who didn't know a thing about sexualities. They mainly spoke about what they did and then pretty much explained quite a few sexualities.
A lot of different experiences of coming out! It's really such an individual experience to go through
Last question guys!
What advice do you have for people who want to be supportive of their loved ones’ sexual identity?
What advice do you have for people who want to be supportive of their loved ones’ sexual identity?
I would say dont feel too discouraged if you have had previous less than favourable experiences. Because there a lots of people who are really accepting. For example in my retail store, everyone is so respectful of everyone elses sexuality, and no one judges or treats anyone differently. Theres no cliques based on differences everyone is just co-workers and friends. Really positive enviroment 🙂
What advice do you have for people who want to be supportive of their loved ones’ sexual identity?
- Don't be judgemental
- Be supportive
- Don't treat them differently
- Be open about it
- Don't shy away or lessen contact
- Make sure they know you are there and that you're supporting them all the way
What advice do you have for people who want to be supportive of their loved ones’ sexual identity?
Just love them. ask them questions respectfully, and ask them where to find reliable information on their identity. Understand that it takes time and accept this. remember that they are who they have always been and that a challenge like this can possible offer a chance to renew and strengthen the relationship
@Jaide897 wrote:
What advice do you have for people who want to be supportive of their loved ones’ sexual identity?
Just love them.
Yes!!!!!!!
What advice do you have for people who want to be supportive of their loved ones’ sexual identity?
If someone tells you that they identify as something, or they think they might identify as something, don't question it! None of this "Oh, do you think it's just a phase?" or "Maybe you're just confused" kind of stuff. It's their identity, it's them telling you how they identify, not you telling them how they identify.
What advice do you have for people who want to be supportive of their loved ones’ sexual identity?
Read up about it and other identities. Ask some questions, but remember that they aren't necessarily going to have all the answers. Just accept them for who they are and don't try force them to be something they are not. But also, just because they have told you about their sexual identity, it doesn't mean that they are out of the closest, so don't be going around telling everyone.
@Chessca_H it's good that that situation ended up in a lighthearted way! Accidently outing yourself or someone else can be a terrifying experience. It's unfortunate that something that can be so central has to be kept secret from certain people
@safari93 it definitely could have been a bad situation, luckily we were super close so she felt comfortable about it in the end
Have you ever opened up about your sexuality to someone else? How did it go? Or has someone else ever opened up about their sexuality to you?
I have, but only when I feel it's relevant. I'm not about to shout my sexuality from the rooftops, but if it makes sense then I have no issue in stating it. When I first came out to myself though I spent a long time keeping it to myself, just so I could be sure of myself.
Other people have come out to me too, and honestly I can't say whether it's had a huge impact on my relationship with them across the board. A friend is a friend, regardless of sexuality
@safari93 I've had a pretty similar experience in the personal front
I've had a few people come out to me over time. Once a friend came out to me by accident, it ended up being pretty funny 😛
