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right now I am....
@Sophie-RO yeah it was really good!! used it for a bit then went to sleep fine 🙂
Right now I am taking a break from study and watching Modern Family 🙂
right now i am struggling with the flu
might have to call it a night and get some rest as i can barely even think right now!
I feel... all over the place. I almost broke down crying this afternoon because of my feet and shoes. (Seriously though, I weat two different sizes, check the size of my feet and it says I'm 6, try on those size shoes and they're too small. Ugh.) But I bought myself a cornetto to make up for it. I also spoke to two different shop assissants asking a question so that was awesome for me.
But... The problem is most of thetime I feel physically, mentally and emotionally drained. I don't want to do anything, at all. At the same time I want to read, go walking, eat, sleep, sometimes cry or throw a fit.
The worst part is... I don't know who is me. I read so much, absorb myself into my books, my stories, shows, picking bits and pieces of different personalities and making them mine. I get so confuses because I'm scared of the dark but love darkness. I don't want to be alone but I love being by myself. For everything I hate, I love it(or an aspect of it) and it confuses me.
I'm assertive, stubborn, but I let other people do want they want to do. I just... nothing is set. My pereonality changes but I suppose that is normal. Of course people change their likes, dislikes. Grow, adapt, evolve, change. It just feels like it's only me like this, who is changing without loosing the previous part so I'm left with the two me's. I doubt that made sense, but it feels good to say, or type, it.
Hey @N1ghtW1ng
Sorry to hear how you've been feeling. Have you had a chance to check in with anyone lately to talk about how you're feeling? Sometimes it helps to just vent to someone, even if it's here on RO ! Having to rely on people for things can feel crap when you really want to start developing your own independence. I know that it can be particularly tough because I spent a long time looking for a decent job, but once I managed to get one things turned around!
As for reading - I love getting totally immersed in books and I love when I can identify with characters in them. I too feel like I love having time to myself, being alone, but at the same time I end up feeling pretty crappy if I don't go out for a long time so I try to push myself to get out as much as I can.
@N1ghtW1ng I know what you mean about getting caught up in the rollercoaster of a book! I've certainly done that a lot before and have to remember to separate my emotions from the characters' I'm reading about.
It is also great that you are aware the thoughts you were struggling with were just negative self talk while you were feeling drained emotionally; well done to you for recognising and acknowledging that. How are you feeling now? It sounds like there are some stressful things going on for you. Do you feel like you have control of these things? Is there anything you can do to take control of them?
Hey @N1ghtW1ng I just felt like I needed to post because my boyfriend and I totally share your pain with the shoe thing! My wardrobe is made up like 4 different sizes because even though my feet are really short (I can wear a size 6, sometimes 5), they're quite wide (meaning with some shoes I need like a 7 or 8). The worst part is when a shoe fits part of your foot (like the right width) but not the other (ie. it's too long for you). My boyfriend is a smaller size in casual shoes (like sneakers) but jumps like 2 - 3 sizes in business shoes because of the shape of his foot too. So yeah, even though it sucks (it makes online shopping soooo annoying), I use it as an excuse to buy a second pair of shoes when I finally find some that fit perfect 😛
Aw no problem @N1ghtW1ng - It's actually kind of cool to know that my boyfriend and I aren't the odd ones out either! So yeah, thanks @j95as well!
Right now I am sitting on my floor surrounded by all the paperwork from my filing cabinet trying to sort through years and years of paper I've kept for no reason.
And I think creative writing is useful 🙂 It's so much fun! Is it a story or poem?
Right now I am about to check my lunch, I hope it doesn't burn in the oven!
Creative writing is awesome and useful. But I guess I was delaying cleaning which sort of needs to be done so I can write instead of doing both things. i have stories and poems on the go at the moment.
I've burnt my food numerous of times, mainly because I get distracted 😛 , and I don't want to turn the stove down because it takes forever, and I have no patience.
Creativegirl12: thinking about what to do. I've done some laundry, shopping, other stuff that I had to do. I feel bouncy, too late to go to the gym, and they probably won't be open. I'll think of something 🙂
dddundundundundun... Rescue Bots! Sorry... I just really love this show.
Right now i am...
Trying to put new music on my phone
At work we play music from our phones and I have played mine so much I am beginning to hate it!
Badly in need of a rotation i think haha