Anxiety through the roof
I'm not coping right now. I keep having freak out episodes. I just want to cry. I just want things to go smoothly. I don't want to get anxious anymore. I'm tired. I feel alone. I've been doing all this stuff to help myself but it is all taking its toll on me. I'm tired. I feel really tired with all of this. I don't want to spiral down that dark path again. I'm really struggling. I don't know what to do. :'(
I'm seeing my counsellor tomorrow morning so I'll see how that goes.
I just don't feel like I can handle my work responsibilities 😞 yet maybe I am and it's just the communication that's a problem. Yet issues keep getting brought up and I feel like I'm to blame. I feel like I've made a couple mistakes and that's all people see.
I'm tired. I'm going to bed.
I had another panic attack last night 😞 I took my medication and then i finally fell asleep. It was so shit.
I went to work and uni today and saw my counsellor and i was so tired. But my counsellor and the friends I have spoken to have all confirmed that my co-worker IS being manipulative and placing their pressure on me. Apparently I have been doing the right thing. And now I need to contact my manager to clarify my availabilities and wait and see whether they can accommodate for that. If not then I may get taken off all shifts and maybe have to find work somewhere else. I just have ro wait and see. But I'm so anxious about having to see this person face to face again. 😞
I think that anxiousness is pretty understandable, do you know when you'll be seeing them? Maybe we could link you to some techniques to help you through 🙂 @mspaceK How do you feel after that validation from the counsellor?
A link to techniques sounds good.
I'm seeing them on Thursday and may hear back from them tomorrow night.
It hurts realising that this is happening. I saw this person as a friend and I value working with them. But for ages I've felt anxious around this person and now I don't even know if I should value their time when they're treating me this way.
Even with the validation I'm still going to have to face up to this person and be confident and clear and I'm not very good at that. I struggle so much when their is conflict and I feel like someone is angry or talking me down.
Feeling for you 😞 @mspaceK Which part of it is taking up the most of your thinking?
i dont know how to express it right now but i just feel really sad and i want to say i hate whats happening in my life and i wish i didn't have to deal with anything happening
You're seeing this person who makes you anxious today, right, @mspaceK? Want to wish you the best of luck and say that you've got this!
Seems like you're experiencing a bit of a slump at the moment, mental health wise, am I right?
Yes. :'( i feel sick and i feel like i want to cry and my chest hurts and i keep having negative thoughts about wanting to die again and I've been speaking to a counsellor and i just don't want to do tgis anymore. I'm so tired
hi @mspaceK,
it sounds like what's been happening has really been exhausting for you 😞 it also sounds like you don't want things to be difficult between you and your co-worker. I understand not wanting to go into situations where there might be conflict as it makes me really uncomfortable and I think about it a lot.. at those times, I try to think about how sometimes it just has to be done, and things might be better in the long term. do you think this might be helpful for you?
I came across this article on RO and i don't know if the 'How to have a difficult conversation' might help: https://au.reachout.com/articles/how-to-have-difficult-conversations
good luck today, you can do it 🙂
I know it will be okay in the long term and I've learnt a lot from this experience. I just read that article and I think it will be helpful for today.
I feel like i don't have any motivation . It's not just what has happened with this co-worker. It feels like everything is a constant struggle. It all feels really hard and i don't want to do it 😕 I'm trying to take it one thing at a time.
@mspaceK You're super switched on. The best thing to do would definitely be to break life down a little, one thing at a time. Pace is such an important thing when we're going through heavy stuff at work and home. How are you feeling at the moment?
I'm feeling so much better @Bree-RO. It went so much better today than I anticipated so I am so relieved. I may have over catastophised everything in my brain or maybe not, but it's taken a lot of positive self-talk and reassurance from others to get through it.
Today i have so much to do and I'm so stressed and tired and I've woken up with a sore throat. And I'm really anxious because i need to go to the doctors on Monday and actually tell them something to do with my health that has been worrying me and I'm scared I'll get told i have to have certain tests done and i have a really bad feeling about it. Im going to sleep a bit more for now and then get up. Feeling flat already today 😕
How are you doing today @mspaceK?
Hope your throat is feeling a bit better!
@mspaceK Uncertainty x moral obligations doesn't sound like a fun mix so can understand completely feeling a bit rough. External events sometimes seem way bigger and scarier in the moment too. You're an incredibly intelligent human being, all of these things are achievable for you.
Once you are feeling better I hope you remember to take things task by task, not all at once. You've got this, we're here to support you as you go. 
@scared01 It's been a rough week. I've been really sick for a few days and not working because of it. There are some big things happening next month including moving house and i'm trying to finish this training for a certificate qualification I need as well as trying to get stable work over Christmas. I'm okay - there's a just a bit of uncertainty in my life at the moment which is causing anxiety and there are some moral obligations/dilemmas i'm trying to get over.
@letitgo - Sorry I have been so busy recently that I have barely been on my computer or phone for this. Yeah - i'm thinking of playing video games and just talking over phone every now and then and see how that goes.
Family stuff can be really tricky @mspaceK... in regards to doing stuff with your sister, maybe you could start off small, like watching some TV together or going for a walk?
Getting out of the house could be temporarily helpful. Thinking of you!
@TOM-RO - she's nearly 29. Hmm. I don't know what kind of support she is getting. I don't really know what my parents are doing. We get along mostly., when my mother doesn't interfere. I'm trying to think of stuff we could do together i just don't know what.
Hey @mspaceK , sounds like you're feeling pretty stressed out by this. It's so amazing how you care about your family so much. I think it's normal to want to help them and want to 'fix' things, but at the same time it's not really your responsibility.
There are ways you can still be supportive but not get too involved too, by getting them to get in touch with services and supports, and occasionally checking in on them.
It sounds like your sister's situation is pretty serious. How old is she? Do you know if she is getting any help? It would be a good idea to give her the number for Suicide Call Back Service - 1300 659 467. Do you get along with your sister much? Maybe you guys could talk about an activity you could do together, or spend some time outside of the house.
And at the same time for yourself, remind yourself you have nothing to feel guilty about. You try to do what you can and that is a lot. It is so difficult to try to help someone who doesn't want it too.
-Lina/RO
My personal life is going so positive at the moment but I can't say the same for my immediate family. As some of you know, I moved out of home because it is a toxic environment. I have been living away from my family for over 2 years now and it has been the greatest, but also hardest journey I have been through. I felt so guilty, but I've had to distance myself from feelings of guilt and the problems my family are facing. But stuff is getting to me, emotionally. It is not my job to 'fix' their problems, but I also feel like at the same time I should be around to support them. But I don't know what to do because whenever I get involved it becomes too much. I either get too overwhelmed, interfere and get rejected, get anxious and upset and it's like my strategies don't make a difference.
But things are going too far. It's like I have pretended like this stuff isn't happening so I don't have to deal with it. Part of me doesn't feel like it is my problem to deal with it so I have been keeping my distance. But it hurts.
My dad has depression, doesn't work, lost his business and has been emotionally abusive.
My mother is probably depressed too, but she seems so narcissistic, she favours my sister and barely talks to me. She hardly contacts me at all. She works full time and is supporting both my dad and my sister.
And my sister has a disability and has a gambling problem. My family already has money troubles. I was at their house the other night and caught my sister trying to gamble online so now her computer is confiscated. But she had a complete meltdown in front of me saying how she wanted to die and kill herself and how she is a mess and how she never gets to see me or my other sibling. And she thinks we don't care about her and never want to see her. 😮 She is majorly depressed and anxious and lonely.
I just don't know what to do. I can't be around there for long times because of the tantrums and arguments and yelling at each other. I just can't. I'm sorry but I can't handle it. 😕
I want to help, but not at the expense of my own mental health. Of course I care but it is just too much. :'(
