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Overly Emotional Over NOTHING

So I need to talk about this before my head explodes from the stress...


So recently I've been overly teary - to the point where I'll cry for over an hour and find it EXTREMELY DIFFICULT to stop the retched tears from falling from my eyes.


It happened again today, as my new manager took over and it was my first shift working directly under her. I felt incompetent. It started when I realised that I forgot to add up the banking totals. And then it went into full tear mode when she was discussing my order of things and how she'd like it done, basically just prioritising differently - which is fine it's not a problem. But my stupid brain decided then was the perfect time for a full-blown waterfall of tears. First I felt my voice quivering and shaking, and my manager noticed and said I wasn't in trouble or anything and then BAM the tears flooded my eyes and burst from my eyes before I knew what was going on. I could tell my new manager felt a bit bad about making me cry, even though I told her to just ignore it. It continued into the afternoon, even when she was leaving for the day. And writing this those pesky bloody tears are back again. And I have ABSOLUTELY no idea why I'm crying! Not when at work or now. I just don't get it.


I got a new medication to add in to my medications for my mental health, so hopefully, that will help over time. But I need some insight or perspective on this. I don't want to continue to be so teary at work. I fear it'll make me look incompetent - which is the last thing I need right now!

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart


Re: Overly Emotional Over NOTHING

Hi @Bee, I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. It must have felt really uncomfortable to be crying in front of your new manager. She sounds like she is an empathetic person though? Hopefully she will understand. I know it can be really difficult when you feel as if you're being judged. I'm wondering if there is anything you can do at work to help you feel calm and in control of your emotions? 

“Your now is not your forever."
― John Green, Turtles All the Way Down

Re: Overly Emotional Over NOTHING

Hey @Bee ! I'm sorry to hear you're having a bit of trouble at work with keeping your emotions in check. I have found myself in a similar situation where I just ended up crying at my manager once and I had no idea why. It can feel so embarrassing to have that happen. It doesn't at all mean that you are incompetent. It sounds like you have some stress going on and it got a bit overwhelming, plus starting different medication, i'm sure that would effect you! 


I can't tell you how to get the tears to stop - if they need to come out, let them out. But I agree with @MisoBear and what they suggested. It's okay to cry lots much as it can suck! 



Re: Overly Emotional Over NOTHING

Dearest @Bee I am sending you so much love! Heart

What else is happening in your life, aside from the instances where you're bursting into tears? Maybe there's some unprocessed stuff leaking out - I know that happens to me sometimes, crying at the most unexpected times.

Please please be gentle with you - you are capable and competent and wonderful. Heart 

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: Overly Emotional Over NOTHING

@Bee It does sound like you are going through an overwhelming time, which does sound hard on you. When one does try to perform their best at work, they can feel pressure. And It is okay to cry, even at work Smiley Happy. If you are comfortable, could you maybe tell us more about the situation you are facing? I'm interested in what you have to share.


Re: Overly Emotional Over NOTHING

@Bee thanks for talking to us about this - reading what you were saying really identified with me - although i of course don't know exactly how you're feeling - i've been in a similar situation at work and amongst people in my own life and it felt very confusing and distressing for me at the time. As recently as yesterday i also had a friend get really upset during class and she didn't know why - she ended up putting it down to being really stressed with uni at the moment. The exhaustion usually does it for me - i'll come home and be talking about something completely random and just start crying!
Of course these things can happen for different reasons for different people - and if you can't put your finger on what's caused it - that's okay too! These things happen - our minds are such complex things that even experts don't fully understand them - in my opinion we don't always have to understand although it's natural that we want to!
So i guess what im trying to suggest is - be gentle with yourself Smiley Happy

Re: Overly Emotional Over NOTHING

Thank you to everyone who has responded. Your responses mean and lot. I've rewritten this several times because my brain is being difficult and has taken me a few hours (No joke, I started to reply while not logged in about 4 or 5 pm)

I’m going to respond to all the work-related questions in one hit at the end so I don’t have to repeat myself

[EDIT]: I did not mean for this to be SOOO long, sorry all.


@MisoBear  it was VERY uncomfortable, I was quite embarrassed, especially because I didn’t understand why I was crying. I don’t really know her well enough to know what her thoughts were. She did tell me not to stress over it though.

I don’t know what I could do to make me feel calmer or more in control at work. There’s already been so many changes in the office this month.


@mspaceK  I just started the medication last night, so I’m hoping that over time it helps. The psychiatrist said we’d give it 2 months and not much longer. If I let the tears out at work I’m unable to do anything in that space of time, which feels really stressful for me, as I need to use all of my work time for work or I won’t get everything done.

@letitgo  Aside from work stuff - which I’ll discuss more below. I’ve been struggling with my mood in the last few months, basically, Sadness here has represented me very well. 


I’ve just lacked any and all motivation. I’ve felt like my mental health has been worse and I just wanted to stay in bed all day because it all feels too hard and/or pointless. I did find out this week that some of my blood levels are abnormal, so I need to work on boosting up the ones that need boosting, and lowering a couple others. That was kind of stressful as my psychiatrist just dumped it all on me, and I was more okay about it when I saw my GP, but it’s a lot to take on.


@Milkninja222  that makes sense, I do like to get EVERYTHING done within the week, and sometimes that isn’t possible. My previous manager wasn’t fussed if everything wasn’t done.


@reach804  I’m sorry to hear you’ve been through something similar. What did you find helped get you through? Of course, there may not be a direct reason; it could be my mental health, it could be getting used to a different work environment with a new manager or it could just be that everything piled together makes me more sensitive *shrugs*


Work changes and stuff.

My Manager (Let’s refer to her as Eve) told me about a month ago that she was leaving the company. It was really hard to hear and I was kind of shocked but I also understood where she was coming from with leaving as it was entirely personal and had nothing to do with the company itself.

Eve was the first person to look past my lack of office/admin experience and employment gaps, and see the worth in my skills and study experience. She was relaxed and worked with what I knew worked best for me, eg I like to have written instructions to follow to refer back to when my brain is having a brain fart (or a spacey moment). She has been the best manager I’ve had through my various jobs. 


Looking back the tears and their intensity and randomness started around the time Eve informed me she was leaving the company. But before that I’d noticed that I would be feeling spacey at times during my workday and lacking motivation to complete my work. I’d find myself staring at one of my tasks and just wanting the day to be over, when most of the time I enjoy being at work and doing my job. So that’s kind of confusing.


And 1 thing that seems to be a coincidence is that I keep tearing up and crying usually after I’ve had an interaction with my new manager (let's call her Gem). First it was a trivial thing that I’d brought in a card for everyone to sign for Eve and Gem later told me they’d already organised something (Which never included a card so I kind of felt a bit silly spending so much time looking for the right card, which I never gave Eve out of embarrassment). There were a couple of interactions which I cried which involved the process of filling her old role as Gem moved into Eves’ role. And then yesterday which it came on when all Gem was talking about was prioritising differently.


I guess I was feeling a bit hurt because Eve never complained about what order I did things in. She let me choose what I did when.

Whereas it sounds like Gem might be more strict in what I do when etc.

One thing that is known is that Gem isn’t as approachable as Eve is/was. Gem isn’t a mean person by any means, she has a different style.


I guess I could still be processing everything that's happened in the office

  • Eve leaving
  • Gem taking Eves’ spot
  • Gem’s role being open
  • Applying, interviewing and being unsuccessful in the role (no employment experience in the role)
  • Another colleague got the job
  • Feeling both relieved and sad I didn't get the job

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart


Re: Overly Emotional Over NOTHING

Hey @Bee, I am sorry to hear that you have been struggling so much with all of this. I will reiterate what everyone has said.. it is okay to cry! It can take a long time to really believe this message and it is definitely something I have had to work on myself. Have you ever thought about having this conversation with your manager? It could be helpful to let others know how to help you when you are crying. For example, I don't really like people fussing over me if I cry so I would prefer to just be left alone, catch my breath then come back and talk it out. It can a difficult conversation to feel comfortable having so I understand if it is not something you feel ready to do right now Smiley Happy

It also sounds like a lot of things have been changing around you.. and change can be hard to adapt to. Humans are creatures of habit after all.. You have experienced change in quite a few areas of your life - this is not easy for anyone. Do you think that might be what is going on for you? Giving yourself the space and time might help with this situation.. You may not have even had the time to process a lot of this yet. Sometimes when we are so busy all the time, our body and mind can struggle to catch up. Perhaps even talking it out with a health professional about what might be underlying all of this. All of this change may be overwhelming you or there might be something buried underneath. I was also wondering if you have been finding work less enjoyable now that you have a new manager? You are doing so well and we are always here Heart You got this!

Re: Overly Emotional Over NOTHING

@Taylor-RO I know it's okay to cry, I just don't want that to be during the hours I'm meant to be working...
I've thought a bit about it, but given past experiences, I just want to keep my mental health struggles out of works knowledge if possible.

I spoke with the employment agency who are now supporting me in the job, on the side. And the person who I've been seeing has said to take a break, walk downstairs, go to the toilets and just take a breather. We do have a toilet and kitchenette upstairs, but maybe just walking down and up the stairs again might be beneficial. I also know that I find it hard to maintain eye contact when speaking to her so I tend to look towards her but not at her face; sometimes this feels like I'm being disrespectful as I was taught growing up to make eye contact. But it scares me SO MUCH! I feel like the last 6 months I've shown this person who is capable and now I feel like I'm just now showing that. I feel like I look incompetent. I know this is the anxiety/depression but I can't get it out of my head. I can't even think about how I'm feeling without bursting into tears. Even just finding words triggers those bloody tears Smiley Sad

I think the change is definitely hard. I think I thought that I would be okay because I knew (or I thought I knew) what I was doing. And now with the change in manager and a new face in the office, I learn that I'm actually doing things wrong and such. Ugh.

I don't think I'm enjoying it any less. I still look forward to going to work. I'm trying to take the advice Eve gave me and to treat each day as a new day with Gem, that while one day it may feel like she's upset, that feeling is gone the next day.

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart


Re: Overly Emotional Over NOTHING

Hi @Bee, sending you lots of hugs right now. Heart


It sounds like you're feeling somewhat unsupported at work, is that right? As @Taylor-RO mentioned, change can be so difficult to grapple with. I'm glad you contacted the employment agency, did you find their advice helpful?


In my experience, I've found workplace environments to be challenging, particularly navigating these kind of workplace boundaries about disclosing my mental health struggles. I have had similar experiences in my placements when I've struggled to keep my emotions in check, and I've had supportive supervisors. But I'm wondering how I will go in the workplace on my own? I don't know if I will disclose my struggles with any potential workplace given my past experiences at uni with disclosure, so I understand where you're coming from there. Heart


I'm glad you still look forward to going to work. I like that advice about treating each day as a new day and I'm glad you have found it helpful. Heart Please keep us updated, we are here with you all the way.