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Overwhelmed and exhausted

Hi guys, 

Just wondering if anyone else out there is struggling with uni/school going back and trying to stay afloat? 

If anyone has some tips to get by to avoid giving up completely could you please share? 

I might not reply right away cause I'm exhausted but if I kudo the post then I've read it and really appreciate your support. Just don't quite have it in me at the moment sorry. I will try and reply when I'm more myself though. Thanks in advance, you guys are awesome! 

MB95
MB95Posted 22-02-2021 07:31 PM

Comments

 
Hannah-RO
Hannah-ROPosted 23-02-2021 12:24 PM

Hey @MB95 

This is a really good question, I'm glad there have been some awesome responses so far ❤️

Something that helped me when I was really on struggle st at the beginning of my uni years was to get a really nice journal/planner. I started using a bullet journal and then a passion planner (this is not an add I promise, but they are heaps cute) and it helped me to enjoy the process of getting organised and look at it as part of looking out for my wellbeing. I have never been the most organised person, so making the organisational process more pleasant was a huge gamechanger for me! I also got a bright orange laptop case cause cute colours make me smile Heart

 
 
StormySeas17
StormySeas17Posted 23-02-2021 11:10 PM

Hi @MB95! I hope things are getting a bit better. I'm also stuck feeling overwhelmed at the very beginning of semester, I'm doing three very difficult subjects this semester plus I'm also running a university club when the university has made it incredibly difficult for us to keep afloat. Here are some things I'm planning to do.

 

First of all, I've realised I do really well with momentum- not necessarily a to-do list kind of person but someone who is either 0 or 100 with productivity. So for me my main challenge going back to uni is going from being lazy and anxious to getting myself ticking off one thing at a time until I have a rhythm. If you've been at uni previous years maybe it might help to see what your best working style is.

 

I'm with @Hannah-RO on the journal point- clearly having all of my classes, assessments, lectures and readings put down in one place (I spent all of my day doing this today) has made me feel a LOT more in control of things. I like weekly planners as well because you can focus on the space between assessments rather than how they all seem to be looming on the horizon. I use the university's planner because I got it for free and it has the map of the uni in it so I don't get lost Smiley LOL

 

Start changing your procrastination habits early. I know I'm a sucker for sitting on Facebook and Instragram when I should be doing work, or maybe not doing work but kicking collateral things off my to-do list like responding to emails, and then I feel bad because I'm not only wasting my study time but also my time off. So I'm trying to streamline my social media use atm. Also trying to go to bed earlier because if I'm not doing anything productive I may as well get some sleep a little extra and hopefully get up a bit earlier!

 

On that note, I love oversleeping so I'm trying to move my sleep schedule so I go to bed wake up earlier more consistently and feel like I have more time to get ready for my classwork during the day since I know I like to have free time at night. Not sure it's going to work since I'm also a night owl who wants to do creative writing late at night but we'll see! 

 

Start looking at your weekly patterns and how you can incorporate your schedule consistently every week. For me, I see which times and days are most convenient for me to look at classwork for an upcoming class, when to do readings, etc. I prefer to work in chunks of time rather than hour by hour. That being said, schedule quality free time for yourself into your week. Someone once described it to me as being like scheduling a doctor's appointment but for your self care. This works for me because if I make sure I have time for free time I don't resent my suddenly packed schedule and I value all of my time more. 

 

I'm also with @Janine-RO- if you realise that the problem is bigger than just figuring out how to get going and is actually an overwhelming study load or impractical commitment, be honest about it to yourself early so you can decide to withdraw or lower your expectations. Sometimes it's just better to be kind to yourself than blame yourself for what you could be doing in a perfect world. 

 

I hope you're doing okay and just remember- it's always hard when uni goes back and it seems like you've gone from being free to being expected to be the best student ever who does all of their readings and lectures on time. It's okay to not be that perfect student! 

 
 
 
MB95
MB95Posted 25-02-2021 09:26 PM

Thank you so much guys. I've just read back on all these again and you guys have some great ideas and suggestions so thank you! I'm just so exhausted that every minor thing is sending me into meltdown mode atm. I'm trying really hard but I'm just worried I'm already like this in week one and not sure I'll make the semester. Time will tell I guess. 

 

I don't quite have the energy to reply to everyone properly sorry but I'll try.. I'm gonna try lower my perfectionist standards and not be the perfect student @Lost_Space_Explorer5 @StormySeas17 

 

I also think schedules are definitely a must for me @hunginc @Eden1717 @A_Friend .. I'm trying to plan up a weekly one at the moment but even that has me overwhelmed 😂 I just feel guilty if I put self care things in and things that aren't uni related cause I feel like I don't have the time for it. Idk. It's stupid! I do looovvee that passion planner though @Hannah-RO - that's so cool!! 

 

And @Janine-RO literally EVERYTHING you said resonated with me! 'Disorganised procrastinating protectionist' umm.. YES! 😂 Also being paralysed by anxiety at the fear of failure.. YES. My anxiety is so intense lately that I have no confidence to even try anything anymore cause I'm so scared I'm going to fail. I hate it. And I don't know how to stop it. 

 

Also @MaryRO I'm a regular with the support services lol They know me pretty well cause I was on a weekly basis with them, but things have changed a bit so yeah. I did have an appointment today but not sure. But thanks for the advice! I'm going to touch base with our disability supports team cause they asked me the other day if I wanted some help or new adjustments put in place so I'm thinking I might need to take them up on it. 

 

Thanks for all the suggestions everyone 💙

 
 
 
 
Hannah-RO
Hannah-ROPosted 26-02-2021 02:38 PM

Hey @MB95 

I'm glad there have been so many good tips on this thread and that you have found them helpful Smiley Happy (You can download free PDFs of the PassionPlanner from their website, I got mine printed and bound at officeworks HEAPS CUTE!) 

 

Anxiety around failure is super freakin full on hey. It can really stand in the way of us putting ourselves out there and showing the world who we are. Our content team made this video a little while ago (which I only just discovered) with some people in the air force talking about the concepts of failure and resilience, it has some cool thoughts in it and i'll link it here if you want to have a look Heart

 

I hope things go well when you get in touch with the uni disability supports team and that they are able to give you the support you deserve Heart

 
 
 
 
 
MB95
MB95Posted 01-03-2021 10:24 PM

So I keep bailing on uni because it all just gets too much so I go home but then I don't get anything done. If I stay sitting there I end up in a really dark place and self harm seems to be the only thing on my mind and it all just goes downhill from there. But I also can't keep going like this because I'm going to fall way behind soon but I don't know what else to do? I don't know how to not bail when things become too much? And atm, my tolerance level is so goddam low that it doesn't take much and I'm outta there.. I don't know what to do. I'm so mentally and physically exhausted. 

 
 
 
 
 
MaryRO
MaryROPosted 01-03-2021 10:35 PM

Hey @MB95,

 

I can understand that it must be hard to deal with uni now that you don't even want to go.  I recognise the pressure that you must be under. 

 

I'm wondering if you are self-harming at the moment or thinking about self-harming when you are in your dark place?  Is there a way of distracting yourself during these times and if there is something in particular that helps you?

 

Is there a possibility of speaking to a wellbeing officer at uni to see if they can support you with getting through your classes and study?

 
 
 
 
 
MB95
MB95Posted 01-03-2021 10:48 PM

I haven't yet @MaryRO. I did recently but at the moment it's just thoughts. I have been pretty good at ignoring them and trying to shift my thinking with distraction cause I was in a real bad way a few weeks ago and just trying really hard to not end up back there. But I'm just finding it harder now that I'm back at uni with the extra stress. Like the temptation and urge is so much harder to resist. I think knowing my housemates were home today helped me stay safe. So I just journaled and slept instead. 

 

I see a psychologist at uni but they had to cut my sessions from weekly to 10 a year. So yeah, I don't really know. I'm trying really hard not to rely on them cause I took it pretty hard and am scared to ask them for help now cause I'm scared they will think I'm just making it up for more sessions. Idk. 

 
 
 
 
 
Eden1717
Eden1717Posted 02-03-2021 06:52 PM

@MB95  I am sorry you are having such hard time, uni can be really hard at the best of times. I am sorry about the psychologist situation as well. Also just wanted to add you are totally welcome here and we care about you and you can talk on here as much as you need. 

Have you thought about maybe finding a psychologist outside of uni who can see you more regularly and maybe on a more long term basis? Just a thought anyway is there any self care you can do to help feel better? Also if uni is too much right now you can always defer the semester. 

 
 
 
 
 
Bre-RO
Bre-ROPosted 02-03-2021 04:14 PM

Hey @MB95 how have you been feeling today? Yesterday sounded really challenging 😞 but it's good to hear that having your housemates around helped you feel safe, do you get on well with them? 

 

I can imagine you must be feeling really unsettled by your sessions being restricted at 10 per year. Just remember that you are worthy of all the support you need and I believe the counselling service have a responsibility to ensure you have that support. 

 

I hope today has been easier for you! 

 
 
 
 
 
MB95
MB95Posted 02-03-2021 09:38 PM

Yeah I'm not great but it is what it is @Bre-RO. It's only the uni wellbeing service, so I don't feel like I have a say in the matter cause it's free. And I get it, I just wish I'd never started seeing my psych in the first place. But whatever. I can't do anything about it. 

 

And yeah, I get along really well with my housemates. They're so lovely. 

 

If I defer @Lost_Space_Explorer5 it has to be for a year cause of where I'm at in my degree with placement etc. Part of me has thought about it and taking a year to really work on myself but I don't want to have to explain to people why and I also don't want to push it back further cause of my age. So I just need to get on with it and work out how to make it work. Thanks for the suggestion though. 

 

And thanks @Eden1717. I have thought about seeing someone in community but I'm also really scared of being let down again. Idk. I'm also not sure if I can afford it at the moment so would have to see how much it will cost. But mostly I'm just scared it won't work. And I also feel really angry and upset at my psych for it. Idk. 

 
 
 
 
 
Janine-RO
Janine-ROPosted 03-03-2021 12:15 PM

Heya MB95,

 

How are you doing today? Reading through this I can relate SO strongly to those feelings of overwhelm and a bit of paralysis with that perfectionism cycle, from everything you've said here you also sound like an incredibly capable, intelligent and compassionate human who will make an amazing OT.  Personally, I reckon some of the best health care professionals I've ever come across are the ones who've been through things themselves. 

 

On a practical note, do you have a course co-ordinator or someone that you could chat with about what your options could be if you wanted to drop down to a part time load, or defer for awhile? I know when I was at uni I found that there was often heaps more flexibility than I had thought if you were able to talk to the right person. I know that when I was in a bit of a bad headspace with uni, taking really small steps helped me a lot to help build a bit of momentum to doing things- do you think that maybe setting a first step, like sending an email to your course co-ordinator, would be doable? 

 

It's so good to hear that you have lovely housemates! 

 
 
 
 
 
MB95
MB95Posted 12-04-2021 03:53 PM

I don't really know what I want to write and I'm sorry in advance if this doesn't make any sense because I'm not really thinking about what I'm writing I just need to talk to someone but I don't know what I need so please don't ask me what my needs are because I'm not in a good way and don't know how to work that out on my own at the moment. There is too much going on. I'm not going to go into it right now because I know it will push me over the edge talking about things that I'm not ready for but so much has started coming up and happening and I don't know how to stay aflot. Anyway it doesn't matter. I will work it out. But what I can't work out is uni. I can't stay on top of things and keep falling behind. I was going to go part time a couple weeks ago but then decided against it because I am stubborn as shit and thought I could do this and now I'm regretting it because I have so much to do and don't even know where to start. I met with my coordinator a few weeks ago when I was asking about part time and she gave me some options to help try to push me through the semester because she could tell how much I wanted to stay full time but now I feel like such a failure and I'm really scared to ask her if we can start putting it in place because I feel like people think I am making it up and trying to take the easy road out. I just hate myself so much and wish I could do this!!!! I don't know what to do. I am also doing my research honours at the same time but haven't been able to look at it. I really am trying, so fucking hard. Like I'm at uni 24/7 and have had a few 3am nights here but I feel like I'm getting no where. My housemates keep teasing me that I'm a nerd and live at the library with my book friends and it just makes me hate myself more because I wish I didn't have to spend so much time here but I don't know what else to do. I feel like it takes me at least 3 times as long as the normal person to get anything done. Like it literally takes me 4hrs to watch a 1hr lecture!!! I just feel like I'm drowning and don't know what to do. I keep going from trying to be proactive because I want to pass and do well for my lecturers but then I just completely lose interest and have no motivation and just don't care. But then I do care because I'm also a perfectionist and hate getting anything less than a HD. But I just can't get myself to care anymore but am going to regret it when I get my grades back. Sorry I'm ranting now. I just don't know what to do. My research is what's stressing me out the most. Every time I look at it I almost end up in tears because I really want to do it and I know deep down I can do it but there is just too much going on in my head that I can't keep up. I can't understand anything and I can't remember anything from my meetings with my supervisor and when I do meet with him he keeps changing things on me which is confusing me more and he talks super super fast that I can't keep up with what he is saying and I just feel like I can't do this anymore. I want to try and tell him to slow down and to not keep changing my study on me because apparently it's meant to be me leading it but I don't know how to because he is so full on and also male and I don't do well with that so I just do as I'm told but what he is telling me is getting so confusing. I'm scared to question him because I don't want to get in trouble and I know if I tell him I'm struggling and haven't made much progress he is probably going to think I'm not capable which I don't want. I already missed out on the topic I wanted because they didn't think I'd cope with it and that was disheartening enough so I don't want to give him any reason to believe I can't do this. But at the same time I also feel like saying fuck it to everything and dropping out completely because I'm so done. I just want to get on the road and never come back. I don't even know if I am capable of being a health professional anymore so don't really know why I'm bothering to push myself. I don't know what I want. I just want everything to stop!!! 

 
 
 
 
 
A_Friend
A_FriendPosted 03-05-2021 09:55 AM

I can really relate to this, as someone who always aims for perfection and overwork to hit that. Something I think could help is for sure trying to reach out and maybe talking to a counsellor. Remember it's okay to be overwhelmed or feel whatever your feeling. I hope thing work out for you and feel free to keep us updated x

 
 
 
 
 
MaryRO
MaryROPosted 12-04-2021 09:27 PM

Hey @MB95,

 

It sounds like you really want to achieve in life and I'm sorry to hear that you are being so hard on yourself for not being where you want to be with your uni and feeling like a failure. Getting only HD's is a huge undertaking, so I can see that you really shoot for the stars and don't accept anything less.

 

It must be so tough wanting to divulge what's happening for you to your supervisor and to be so scared of what the repercussions are of that. It sounds like you really wanted to do that class that you were not accepted into and there are barriers to wanting to seek his help. Your coordinator may still be able to help you if you are ever ready to have another discussion with them. I get that this is a conversation you are scared to have right now.  

 

You are always welcome to use the forum as a sounding board, it's what we are here for. It is a pleasure to have you share your thoughts and experiences with us.

 
 
 
 
 
Eden1717
Eden1717Posted 12-04-2021 07:38 PM

@MB95  uni really can be so overwhelming. i am not going to suggest anything because you said you need time to figure things out but i do want to say that it is ok to take a break from uni if that is what you need. I have been trying to do uni for 5 years now and only have 1 years worth completed. even though it feels like there is a rush sometimes we do need a break and that is perfectly ok. if talking it out here helps write as much as you need we are here to listen. 

 
 
 
 
 
Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 02-03-2021 01:12 AM
You could always drop to part time or defer for the semester or year to focus on your health @MB95? I can't imagine how hard it must be to get through uni with all this going on 😞 Looking after you is what's most important right now. What do you think?
 
 
 
 
 
MB95
MB95Posted 01-03-2021 10:27 PM

Like I keep thinking maybe I should just drop out of uni cause maybe it's not for me but then I also know I would probably regret not just pushing through my last 2yrs but idk. I just don't feel capable of anything anymore and I don't know what I want or how to work out what I want or need. I'm so lost and uni is just making me worse because I'm a perfectionist and struggling to keep up or even start because it's too much.

 
 
Janine-RO
Janine-ROPosted 23-02-2021 05:16 PM

Hey @MB95 , so much great advice on this thread already! 

 

I'll be honest and say my first time around as a uni student straight out of high school was an excellent lesson in what not to do - I was a weird combination of a disorganised (and procrastinating) perfectionist - I would often end up spending hours and hours researching papers and assignments and be paralysed by anxiety and the fear of failure, and end up writing things at 2am. I didn't ask anyone for help, thought that everyone else had their shit together except for me, and tried to deal with everything on my own.  Do not recommend this approach!! 

 

Things that helped me (especially when I went back to uni with a small kid in tow!) were being really pragmatic about time management and learning what working environments worked best for me- I tend to study better at the library or away from distractions at home, and I often find my 'flow' in the afternoon.  I definitely had to learn that sometimes things just have to be done rather than perfect! I also found having visible reminders of deadlines was super helpful - I got one of those giant wall planners which I used to map out deadlines etc, as well as using a diary/ phone, I also blocked out time for exercise, family time, doing nothing time. 

 

The last big one for me was a huge dose of self-compassion - remembering to be gentle with myself, and accepting that often uni can feel like a totally stressful shitfight of an experience for everyone, and it's OK to have bad days! I ended up dropping down to a part time study load for a few semesters when family and life responsibilities all became a bit too much to juggle, unis are often much more supportive and understanding than you think they'll be with these things. Sending everyone massive good luck at uni vibes! It can be painful but it was definitely worth it. 

 

 

 
A_Friend
A_FriendPosted 22-02-2021 10:24 PM

Hi @MB95, I can really empathise with your feeling. I think what helped me the most was trying to use relaxation techniques and changing my mindset to lower the stress. Also taking care of self, eating well, exercising and getting enough sleep. Also don't be too hard on yourself and remember to take a break.

I have linked some youtube videos i found helpful in the past. I hope you feel better soon

How to Bounce Back from Burnout in 3 Simple Steps | Allan Ting | TEDxWilmingtonLive - YouTube

watch this when you're struggling with a subject & wanna give up. ❤️ || Motivated Monday - YouTube

How To Give 200% - YouTube

How To Handle OVERWHELM - YouTube

How To Handle OVERWHELM - YouTube

 
MaryRO
MaryROPosted 22-02-2021 09:57 PM

Hey @MB95,

 

It's wonderful that you are reaching out to the forum to seek tips regarding hanging in there at uni, particularly as you are struggling so much with being overwhelmed and exhausted.  It can be very difficult to ask for support when motivation is weaning.  

 

I'm wondering if your uni has a counsellor on campus or a wellbeing coordinator that you can chat and check in with?  They may be able to discuss activities, support and services that the uni offers for students.  Some uni's have all sorts of activities and you may find one activity that is interesting to you.  This may help you to get through your days at uni a little easier.  

 
Eden1717
Eden1717Posted 22-02-2021 08:14 PM

@MB95  I started back today, I am not really sure if I have any super helpful tips I guess just try and keep up with a good sleep schedule and set aside a little time each day to get some work done. Sorry I am not much help. 

 
hunginc
hungincPosted 22-02-2021 08:00 PM

I start uni next week. To avoid burnout and deferring late into the semester like I did last year, I will schedule more time each day to do what I want to do

 
Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 22-02-2021 07:53 PM
I start back in a couple weeks @MB95, not looking forward to that stress.... Hm what's helped me in the past is lowering perfectionist expectations for myself and doing the best I can with the time and energy I have. Setting up the pace to what suits you, even if that means 10 mins of work and then a break and then another 10 mins, can help. Also making sure you have someone backing you up if you need any extensions or anything. Sometimes it can help to take it a day at a time rather than focusing on the big picture. I'm not sure sorry, has anything worked for you in the past?

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