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Re: Overwhelmed and exhausted

Hey @MB95 

I'm glad there have been so many good tips on this thread and that you have found them helpful Smiley Happy (You can download free PDFs of the PassionPlanner from their website, I got mine printed and bound at officeworks HEAPS CUTE!) 

 

Anxiety around failure is super freakin full on hey. It can really stand in the way of us putting ourselves out there and showing the world who we are. Our content team made this video a little while ago (which I only just discovered) with some people in the air force talking about the concepts of failure and resilience, it has some cool thoughts in it and i'll link it here if you want to have a look Heart

 

I hope things go well when you get in touch with the uni disability supports team and that they are able to give you the support you deserve Heart

Re: Overwhelmed and exhausted

So I keep bailing on uni because it all just gets too much so I go home but then I don't get anything done. If I stay sitting there I end up in a really dark place and self harm seems to be the only thing on my mind and it all just goes downhill from there. But I also can't keep going like this because I'm going to fall way behind soon but I don't know what else to do? I don't know how to not bail when things become too much? And atm, my tolerance level is so goddam low that it doesn't take much and I'm outta there.. I don't know what to do. I'm so mentally and physically exhausted. 

Re: Overwhelmed and exhausted

Like I keep thinking maybe I should just drop out of uni cause maybe it's not for me but then I also know I would probably regret not just pushing through my last 2yrs but idk. I just don't feel capable of anything anymore and I don't know what I want or how to work out what I want or need. I'm so lost and uni is just making me worse because I'm a perfectionist and struggling to keep up or even start because it's too much.

Re: Overwhelmed and exhausted

Hey @MB95,

 

I can understand that it must be hard to deal with uni now that you don't even want to go.  I recognise the pressure that you must be under. 

 

I'm wondering if you are self-harming at the moment or thinking about self-harming when you are in your dark place?  Is there a way of distracting yourself during these times and if there is something in particular that helps you?

 

Is there a possibility of speaking to a wellbeing officer at uni to see if they can support you with getting through your classes and study?

Re: Overwhelmed and exhausted

I haven't yet @MaryRO. I did recently but at the moment it's just thoughts. I have been pretty good at ignoring them and trying to shift my thinking with distraction cause I was in a real bad way a few weeks ago and just trying really hard to not end up back there. But I'm just finding it harder now that I'm back at uni with the extra stress. Like the temptation and urge is so much harder to resist. I think knowing my housemates were home today helped me stay safe. So I just journaled and slept instead. 

 

I see a psychologist at uni but they had to cut my sessions from weekly to 10 a year. So yeah, I don't really know. I'm trying really hard not to rely on them cause I took it pretty hard and am scared to ask them for help now cause I'm scared they will think I'm just making it up for more sessions. Idk. 

Re: Overwhelmed and exhausted

You could always drop to part time or defer for the semester or year to focus on your health @MB95? I can't imagine how hard it must be to get through uni with all this going on Smiley Sad Looking after you is what's most important right now. What do you think?

Re: Overwhelmed and exhausted

Hey @MB95 how have you been feeling today? Yesterday sounded really challenging Smiley Sad but it's good to hear that having your housemates around helped you feel safe, do you get on well with them? 

 

I can imagine you must be feeling really unsettled by your sessions being restricted at 10 per year. Just remember that you are worthy of all the support you need and I believe the counselling service have a responsibility to ensure you have that support. 

 

I hope today has been easier for you! 

Re: Overwhelmed and exhausted

@MB95  I am sorry you are having such hard time, uni can be really hard at the best of times. I am sorry about the psychologist situation as well. Also just wanted to add you are totally welcome here and we care about you and you can talk on here as much as you need. 

Have you thought about maybe finding a psychologist outside of uni who can see you more regularly and maybe on a more long term basis? Just a thought anyway is there any self care you can do to help feel better? Also if uni is too much right now you can always defer the semester. 

Re: Overwhelmed and exhausted

Yeah I'm not great but it is what it is @Bre-RO. It's only the uni wellbeing service, so I don't feel like I have a say in the matter cause it's free. And I get it, I just wish I'd never started seeing my psych in the first place. But whatever. I can't do anything about it. 

 

And yeah, I get along really well with my housemates. They're so lovely. 

 

If I defer @Lost_Space_Explorer5 it has to be for a year cause of where I'm at in my degree with placement etc. Part of me has thought about it and taking a year to really work on myself but I don't want to have to explain to people why and I also don't want to push it back further cause of my age. So I just need to get on with it and work out how to make it work. Thanks for the suggestion though. 

 

And thanks @Eden1717. I have thought about seeing someone in community but I'm also really scared of being let down again. Idk. I'm also not sure if I can afford it at the moment so would have to see how much it will cost. But mostly I'm just scared it won't work. And I also feel really angry and upset at my psych for it. Idk. 

Re: Overwhelmed and exhausted

Heya MB95,

 

How are you doing today? Reading through this I can relate SO strongly to those feelings of overwhelm and a bit of paralysis with that perfectionism cycle, from everything you've said here you also sound like an incredibly capable, intelligent and compassionate human who will make an amazing OT.  Personally, I reckon some of the best health care professionals I've ever come across are the ones who've been through things themselves. 

 

On a practical note, do you have a course co-ordinator or someone that you could chat with about what your options could be if you wanted to drop down to a part time load, or defer for awhile? I know when I was at uni I found that there was often heaps more flexibility than I had thought if you were able to talk to the right person. I know that when I was in a bit of a bad headspace with uni, taking really small steps helped me a lot to help build a bit of momentum to doing things- do you think that maybe setting a first step, like sending an email to your course co-ordinator, would be doable? 

 

It's so good to hear that you have lovely housemates! 

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