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Re: Unread Letters

Music is a really good coping strategy. Oh that's frustrating Smiley Sad

Re: Unread Letters

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  The suggestion about grounding was a really good one! 

 

@xXLexi_Lou122Xx, do you feel like it's something that might be helpful right now? I personally find that using gifs especially meant to help relax breathing for anxiety to be really nice.

 

I know it must be really hard for you right now; feeling restless is already bad enough and not getting enough sleep on top of that must be stressful! 

 

It also sounds like these trust issues are making it hard for you to reach out and talk about things, even with people that you might be able to trust, like your GP. This can put us in a really difficult place because I guess to build that trust, we need to try and take that risk and open up a little, but that's hard because of those issues you've mentioned before.  

 

I'm wondering if there's a way where maybe you can 'test out' whether you are able to trust someone or not - maybe talk to them a little about things that aren't so personal, and if they react positively that can make you feel comfortable in opening up more? 

 

Though I'm glad that you're able to talk with us about this, and please know that no matter what happens this is always a space for you where you can open up Smiley Happy

Re: Unread Letters

I'm just going to move to my thread again, I'll tag you in it in a sec!

Re: Unread Letters

@TOM-ROOoh I love those breathing gif things lol!

 

 

breathing.gif

Re: Unread Letters

From @Matty D
Dear 2020, COVID-19 rules, and the government,
Your rules have been WAY too mixed up and confusing for me to fathom, and as for YOU, 2020 and COVID-19 rules, you’re not off the damn hook either - you’ve been putting craploads of pressure on me, confusing me and leaving me wondering what the hell to do. And, of course, the government - how can I forget your silliest rule ever made - to stop wearing masks NOW just ‘cos we’ve made it almost a whole bloody month without any new virus cases or deaths?! You have NO idea how much I resent you all. Damn you, 2020, for being so goddamn hard on me, some of you messed-up COVID-19 rules for confusing the crap out of me and making it all the more harder for me to control my worsened anxiety, and the government for making this unmasking decision so frickin’ soon. 

Re: Unread Letters

Sorry to write another letter, but here goes anyway:

Dear substitute RTO teacher,

Last year, you made the stupidest, cruelest, and crappiest joke about my dog not wanting to be with me if I don’t give her enough pats, and I don’t give a damn if it WAS only a joke, because it left me feeling hurt and upset up until now, and let me tell you this - ANYONE else’s dogs out there honestly couldn’t care less how frequently/infrequently their owners pat them; they sure as hell will NOT love you any less for that, EVER. NOBODY talks about my dog that way.  

From Matty D.

Re: Unread Letters

Dear Dad,
Being stuck inside has made me think a lot about you.
About how you walk into the room and I just have to walk out.
About how sometimes I walk the long way around to my room from the dinning table to avoid walking past you. It’s like there’s this invisible barrier I made around you.
I don’t know if you notice it too.
Funny how even though we have been stuck in the same house for almost all year we go about not saying as must as two words together a day.
Sometimes I wish that things could go back to how it was when I was littler, when I used to find you early in the morning watching the world cup, just sitting next to you and enjoying that comfortable 6am silence against the back drop of soccer commentary.
I wish that we could still go for those 30 min bike rides in between your work breaks, how you taught me how to check if my tires are flat and how to pump air into them. My bike was the only one that was new, I remember you bought it and put it together by yourself. You never really spend money on these things, the other three bikes were ones you found on the side of the road, with their tacky brakes and rusty chains. But I guess you wanted something special for my 12th birthday. But now the wheels are rusted, the chains don’t really run smoothy anymore and the spiders in the shed have taken residence beneath the seat, curtained behind thick cobwebs. 7 years is a short life span for a bike.
I have been going for walks lately, usually along the bike track. I feel like I should tell you how much the landscape have changed in the area, they cut down a lot of trees and now the dust on the ground clouds the air with the smallest gust of wind. A red blur would cover the track ahead and I always have to turn back.
I’m not really sure what changed over these years.
Did you suddenly not like the world cup anymore? I remember you used to get frustrated when the goalie fails to stop a goal, you would complain that he was taking bribes. I didn’t think you were serious though.
Did you also get tired of riding the bike with us anymore? Was having to pump air into the old tires every evening too much work? That must be it wasn’t it? So much work only for it to go flat the next day.
Well once this year is over, when there is not a pandemic for a reason for us to be stuck together…I might be seeing you less. And for the record whatever the reason was that made us drift apart, for you to choose not to attend my high-school graduation, for us to act like strangers underneath the same roof, know that I still wish that things could go back to how they were and that I wish I could tell you the things in my life that I have to hide from you.
But maybe like the tires of an old bike not matter how long it stays flat, it could be a full again, but only if we bother to work on it.
From,
your daughter

Re: Unread Letters

@ILAUVEDEN  Wow, I am so sorry that your relationship with your father is so strained. Smiley Sad Reading your letter made me feel so sad. It must be so difficult to think about the good times you once shared together.
It really resonated me as I have had similar issues with my own dad. Like you, my dad also did not attend my graduation. He chose to go on an overseas holiday with his friends instead and did not send me any message of support or watch the recording and livestream of the ceremony despite being told of the timeframe months in advance and having the choice to go on another day or after the ceremony. That is still painful for me to this day and I know from my own experience that it is something that you don't forget. It does make you wonder such things like 'If my dad did not go to my graduation, will he also choose not to go to other special events in my life?'. All a kid wants is to see their parents be proud of them and celebrating with them.
I really hope you have other family members and friends to help support you through these challenges. You deserve to have people around you who love and support you, and are there for you throughout your life. It's unfortunate that you can choose your friends, but not your blood relatives. It can be hard for people to understand if they haven't experienced it themselves, but sometimes parents aren't good at being parents and that's not your fault at all.
Sending you big virtual hugs. Heart

Re: Unread Letters

'Let it go'.
You might be right but it's not that simple or easy. My traumas are a part of who I am and always will be. For you to love me, you must accept what has happened to me.
Acceptance is not the same as forgetting about it.

Re: Unread Letters

That's a really beautiful sentiment @WheresMySquishy - you deserve someone to accept you as you are, and that includes your history and how you have grown from it 💖