struggling
i am sorry i havent been here and havent been as supportive as i normally would. i have been really busy but also my mental health has really gone downhill along with my physical health. i am in the middle of getting some tests to confirm whether i have a form of cancer or if it something else causing these symptoms/ i am struggling quite badly where im at the point that im struggling to even ask for help, see the point in seeking support or even wanting to ask now. its not really the way i wanted to come back and i know i dont deserve support esp for being so neglectful here but it would be much appreciated if i could have some support and help.
@scared01 damn.... it's never very comforting knowing that you're the first person your gp has seen with the issue...
I'm glad that you know what it is though, it's always easier for doctors when they know what they're treating you for.
Would you like any help finding internet information on it? I'm unfortunately pretty familiar with that part of the internet, and if you want (and are comfortable with it of course), I might be able to find you a few extra links.
i am lucky that one of the more senior drs at the practice has treated it before.In my gps words "i think you have created a new form of infection" so im glad there is some sort of knowledge of it with other gps. theres not much information on the internet but i am seeing a specilist for other reasons but they happen to specialise in this area of expertise so ill ask them about it and if they could provide some more information. if they dont know much about it im sure they could find out for me with good resources. i worry about going onto to many sites on the internet, to many viruses etc so i try to keep with the more safe ones.
It sounds like you're in good hands with your GP. And good on you for doing your own research. Yes, best stick to safe sites!
Hope you're having a great day. 
feeling abit blue today though and trying my best to get through the day
Hi @scared01, it sounds like things have been quite difficult for you over the past little while 
I really hope that the ACAT assessment works out!
Thanks for letting us know you're safe, I'm sorry to hear about the self-harm urges. What's your plan for managing them tonight?
i ended up just watching a movie and then heading to bed, ive been feeling pretty worn out and with a busy weekend i figured a little extra sleep wouldnt go astray
@scared01 It sounds like you're in good hands at that hospital.
The hostel idea sounds frustrating. 
I'm sorry that you've been struggling so much. Headspace sounds like it wasn't much help. 
I think the NDIS could be a good option but it could take a long time to get approval. I have had to go through them with one of the people I am caring for and it has been such a frustrating process. They give you deadlines to contact them or provide them with documents. You may have to provide your birth certificate, citizenship details and evidence of your residence such as a utility bill. They like lots of documents about your medical condition such as occupational therapy reports, physiotherapist reports, doctors reports, hospital reports, discharge summaries, etc. A GP also had to provide a report. We also included a scan of the patient's passport. We tried to email the documents through but then they claimed that we didn't send them before the 28 day deadline even though we had, so we had to sort it out.
There are some other alternatives to the NDIS depending on where you live and which kind of services you need. An occupational therapist might be able to help with this.
I really hope you can get some kind of assistance.
there will be an acat assessment for the person im caring for a few weeks before my operation and i really hope thatll be enough time to get things sorted for some care or him.
his medical conditions just seem to keep on adding and i dont know how he will go here without me. i only have to mention im sick or something and he goes into a tail spin so im not sure him staying home alone with some check ins will be a good idea cause once he finds out im having an operation he will probably have another stress reaction.
I hope the ACAT assessment goes well @scared01. Hopefully they will recommend some supports or a carer while you're gone. I want to try and organise one for my grandmother, but I have to get my other family members on board with it and find a time that can suit us. The GP and some other people have recommended it.
My grandma is like that too. Her thinking and behaviour tend to get worse when people aren't around. She panics and does unsafe things. She is also paranoid about having visitors unless someone is with her. My sister is similar in that being alone stresses her out, but at least she was able to get used to the people at the hospital and eventually get over us not visiting until later in the day. The hospital actually encouraged us to leave her so that we could have a break from the caring and she could learn to cope with not having us around all the time.
I just read that EnableNSW can offer some financial assistance towards travel and accommodation costs for patients who need to access treatment that isn't available locally. I wonder if there is a similar service in your state. That could be another option for when you have your operation.
my pop enjoys visitors but the trouble is he doesnt get very many and when he does he forgets theyve been so then it starts the cycle of 'i never get visitors' etc thankfully he isnt paranoid or anything he just forgets alot so it makes me weary about leaving him. hope you get the help and support you need to and your family gets on board as well.
i havent heard of enable nsw so ill definently take a look, thank you!
@scared01 That sounds like such a hassle and inconvenience. Is there anyone who can stay with you when you have your surgery?
I have also heard of some hospitals having patient accommodation, which could end up being cheaper than booking a hotel room. Since you're travelling two hours to get there, would you be a candidate for this? Sometimes, these options are listed on the hospital's website.
it is pretty inconvenient but they are well equipped and trained for what i need done which helps me feel better. my major surgury is basically a minor one for them cause they are use to it.
i did speak with the nursing unit manager of that hospital and they said they had a hostel thingy however all the amenitites were shared and they could only offer one for me and one other person in the same room but im not comfortable sharing amenities (in a hotel setting not so much a hospital one).
it is really hard and it really does feel like im failing at everything.
besides everything else thats happening its really hard financially. im selling everything to rely on getting through the weeks 😞 i dont know how im going to get my car registered and save for my surgury etc its really hard and stressful and i dont know what else to do. im already working as much as i can.
there are alot if advances, i doubt it would be but there is that possibility with everyone harping on about it. i guess ill find out within the coming weeks what it is how to treat it etc.
Hi @scared01,
What an impactful and stressful thing you are going through...I'm especially sorry to hear you saying you don't deserve support - support is not something that is either deserved or not. So I am glad you a reaching out for support even though you feel this. What support/help do you feel you need?
i dont really know what i need. its just really hard right now and theres alot of things happening here. i feel so alone in all of this. i havent told anyone else about the possibility of cancer yet, i dont want them to worry or butt in and try to dominate everything i say or want to do. i couldnt tell them anyway, this cancer can really only be caught through intimate relations and for me that wasnt something i had agreed to.
