im so sorry I haven't been online! I didn't realise how long its been!!!
I have honestly been so busy ive barely had time to breathe. thankfully with school going back pretty soon it wont be so busy. ive had lots of babysitting jobs, 15 horses to care for everyday, plus trying to fit in appointments for my caree or myself (which I basically rescheduled all my appts till feb when school is back) plus also abit of redecorating in my house.
I haven't been that well mentally or physically though, being busy has been ok in one way but I think I overloaded myself (or got overloaded by others pushing things on me like having to babysit) way to much that it was also quite damaging as well. today I have one small job to do for 3 hours but other then that im at home chilling out and just catching up on some washing while its not raining and while theres not so much smoke outside as well. no babysitting, caree is away, and the horses are fine today with nothing that I really need to do.
how are you guys going?
Hiya @scared01, it is so good to hear from you! I am glad to hear that you can catch a break soon - you sound like you have been very busy. I am sorry that you have not been well physically or mentally. Do you want to share more about what is going on for you? Overloading yourself can really suck.. I think we can all be a bit guilty of this at times. Saying no can be difficult and the feeling of exhaustion and stress can seem endless. It is great that you have identified that you've overloaded yourself though.. and given yourself today to relax. How did your day go?
I have just been settling into the New Year and started studying again. Seems like studying never ends sometimes
it has been really hard mentally I think just mostly due to the nature of my mental health. I have a lot more lows then I do highs but Im not sure my medications are currently working and with a few things happening like struggling finances, car troubles, physical ailments causing issues, and things like feeling lonely due to no friends and things happening around me with ex-friends its making things quite tricky too. I also feel heaps of pressure atm within my roles as well
the days still been very busy, had a lot to do as normal, tomorrow is looking just as busy unfortunately.
Wow @scared01, that sound like it would cause anybody a bunch of stress!!
I can see from your earlier post that you've done a really incredible job of juggling a whole bunch of responsibilities, as well as you mental health these holidays/ You should be so incredibly proud of yourself for doing so well, despite all the challenges you just mentioned.
How did you go with your busy day today?
today was busy but not as busy as expected. had a few hours to sit around and catch up on a few emails etc but nothing strenuous.
one of my physical ailments are acting up today and causing so much pain that pain relief hasn't been helping and its making it hard to breathe when the pain flares up
I'm feeling very happy to hear from you, but also sad for you to hear about the pain you are in today I can imagine that must be adding to your stress at the moment. Sending hugs!
Reading back over your posts, it sounds like this last month has been so busy for you! It is amazing what our minds and bodies can do when we need to juggle so much, and I'm hearing that even when it doesn't feel like you are coping, you are finding a way to keep pushing and get things done. From where I stand what you have done is nothing short of remarkable We are so in awe of your strength and perseverance with so much to balance!
School goes back this week, does that mean you may have some more time for you in the coming weeks?
I also wanted to check and see how you are going with the horses? 15 is a lot to be looking after- how are you finding it at the moment?
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as school is back its abit easier but also at the same time it makes things more limiting as often I have the kids before and after school so I have to try and fit everything in between school hours. ive many appointments for myself and caree to catch up on as well so slowly getting on top of those again with a few coming up this week and next.
I don't have so many horses now, only the usual load which is mine and friends with occasional extra jobs but nothing over the top now.
I did end up in hospital overnight though having to under go some tests for some extreme pain-I have a rather good pain tolerance but this one was making me rather sick from the pain. thankfully they found what was causing it, started treatment and gave me stronger pain meds and im on the mend more now.
mentally though im spiralling downwards but im afraid to speak to the health professionals. I should be use to it by now but its so difficult to overcome the fears of talking to them esp based on past experiences
Hey @scared01 it sounds like you have a lot going on at the moment which I imagine would be overwhelming . Thanks for sharing. I'm glad to hear that the doctors know what is causing you pain and are providing you with treatment. Being physically in pain can also impact our mental health, because being in pain is far from fun and can really get in the way of us doing things we enjoy. So I'm guessing having a plan re. the pain moving forward has put your mind at ease in that respect. Has it?
You mentioned speaking to health professionals - what sort of health professional are you thinking of contacting? Have you got an existing psychologist or?
I currently have my gp and my womens health nurse along with my psychiatrist. im finding that my gp and my nurse aren't really listening to me or they brush off my concerns. I think that's my fault though because ive learnt and become so good at hiding my real emotions that it makes it hard for others to see that im struggling or how much im actually struggling. my psychiatrist makes me quite uncomfortable in some aspects so it also makes it hard to talk to him as well.
I no longer have a psychologist because I found it was doing more harm then good atm unfortunately. so have decided to put it to the side for now and stop forcing myself into it cause it was just making me more upset that I didn't want to go but I also kept trying to force myself to go and get better. to much pressure on myself while trying to talk about things.
I also get worried that by being honest they will try to send me back to hospital again and I really cant do that or they'll keep trying to force more and more meds onto me like last time.
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