struggling
i am sorry i havent been here and havent been as supportive as i normally would. i have been really busy but also my mental health has really gone downhill along with my physical health. i am in the middle of getting some tests to confirm whether i have a form of cancer or if it something else causing these symptoms/ i am struggling quite badly where im at the point that im struggling to even ask for help, see the point in seeking support or even wanting to ask now. its not really the way i wanted to come back and i know i dont deserve support esp for being so neglectful here but it would be much appreciated if i could have some support and help.
hey @scared01!
I'm glad to finally catch you! I've been good, listening to some new music which is always good! 
I'm glad to hear you're doing better, though that really sucks that you're still struggling to communicate with your health professionals. How did you go with being more firm with them?
so the way my nurse works is that she will see me but for medicare to be able to bulk bill it my gp has to come in and basically clear it once im finished chatting with her etc. so I see my gp normally and then I see my nurse and then gp comes in the say yep I was here.
that day I had my original gp appointment and then my nurse as well.
I have been managing with a lot of strategies but its not something I can keep managing with unless I know its not something serious.
Hi @scared01,
I'm jumping online for the afternoon and have just been catching up on your posts from the last couple days about struggling to get your doctor to listen. I can imagine how frustrating that must be when you are experiencing pain and still not sure where it is coming from 
When you see the nurse and GP, do you see them both together in the same consultation? Or do you see them in separate consultations on the same day?
I found a thread from a while back where you mentioned strategies for managing pain, have any of these helped the pain this time?
I never seem to be online when your online lately! how have you been?
im okish just still battling to get health professionals to listen to me but other then that ive been busy managing physical and mental wellbeing along with work etc as well
I have an ultrasound though for one of my other ailments- at least she listened to me about that not that she can provide any answers to my questions about it.
wow you sound buys! I hate moving houses, well the actual moving part of it anyway!
I’m doing okay @scared01, very busy moving house atm. It’s good to talk to you!! I hope your doctor starts listening to you soon, I know how scary and frustrating it is not to be taken seriously.
hopefull my gp will listen this time!
im glad your relative is in remission now!
@scared01 I think that's so true. I was told I am young to have multiple kidney stones, but there turned out to be a family history of them. I have another unrelated condition that usually affects older people but there is a family history of that too. I only know one of one other person who had it around my age.
I think a test would at least give you peace of mind, especially as there is a family history of brain tumours. It can be so scary not knowing what is going on if it is something brain-related. 😞
It could be an idea to stress the family history and mention that you'd like to have a test to ease your concerns.
One of my relatives had a rare form of brain cancer that also took a while to be diagnosed and was misdiagnosed as something benign at first. Luckily, she has since gone into remission.
mine has to do with my brain and with 2 brain tumours on my dads side its worrying me that no one is listening to me. id rather have a test then it come back clear then to be stressing about it wondering whether its something serious or not. ive already done literally everything else including what the drs told me to do and its not any better so theres only 2 things left to rule out before I feel ok stressing less that its nothing overly serious and it could be just something that happens like he dr says.
@scared01 That must be causing so much stress for you. 😞
I can relate to your situation. Last month, I had some on and off pain I hadn't had before and went to a different GP as my regular GP was away. I had some tests done over a few weeks but they couldn't find the cause of it. The GP told me it was just an infection and couldn't be a kidney stone because I would be in more pain. He discouraged me from having a CT scan due to my age. I was sceptical though because I was still in pain despite having antibiotics and my test results did not show an infection. It stopped for a few days but then it started up again and I couldn't sleep or eat from it, so on a whim I just went to the local emergency department. They took me seriously and immediately suspected a kidney stone, which they then confirmed with a CT scan after the emergency room doctor told me that the benefits outweighed the risks of it. I have since had two surgeries (one being an emergency) because the stone was causing an obstruction and was too large to pass on its own. They were worried about me developing sepsis, so they also put me on multiple courses of strong antibiotics and admitted me overnight after the first one.
I'm not saying that your situation is the same, but I'm very lucky and grateful that I decided to get a second opinion. I didn't think it was going to be that serious but who knows what would have happened if I had left it? The urologist told me I would have just suddenly gone downhill and there would have been no other symptoms.
I think that sometimes it pays off to be persistent with medical professionals.
@scared01 I'm so sorry to hear that you've been in hospital. 😞 That doesn't sound very fun at all. I'm glad that they found out what was causing your pain and treated you for it.
I hope that your supports can listen to you and work out a plan moving forward. Would it help to write down your points and refer to them, or give them a note?
still not having much luck with my supports but I see them again on Monday and ill be more blunt. I really need help with something and they just literally seem to be brushing it off so its getting more and more frustrating nowHi @scared01 I know we haven’t spoken in a long time but I wanted to say that I think about you often, and I hope things start to improve (mentally and physically) for you soon
Hey @scared01,
It's really good to hear that you have such a comprehensive professional support network going at the moment, even if you don't always resonate with their support. I am sorry to hear that you do sometimes feel unheard however. It can be really difficult to grapple with explaining how we feel, health wise, and that frustration can be exacerbated when our health professionals don't understand us/the extent of what we are experiencing. While it is really difficult to say something about this, it can be helpful to be blunt in explaining that you are feeling unheard. While I can't guarantee that this will automatically make your GP and nurse understand how you feel, it may at least alert them to the fact that their initial evaluation/assumption was wrong.
On a happier note, I am glad to hear that you've been feeling a bit less pain recently! I hope that this has continued tonight as well
I currently have my gp and my womens health nurse along with my psychiatrist. im finding that my gp and my nurse aren't really listening to me or they brush off my concerns. I think that's my fault though because ive learnt and become so good at hiding my real emotions that it makes it hard for others to see that im struggling or how much im actually struggling. my psychiatrist makes me quite uncomfortable in some aspects so it also makes it hard to talk to him as well.
I no longer have a psychologist because I found it was doing more harm then good atm unfortunately. so have decided to put it to the side for now and stop forcing myself into it cause it was just making me more upset that I didn't want to go but I also kept trying to force myself to go and get better. to much pressure on myself while trying to talk about things.
I also get worried that by being honest they will try to send me back to hospital again and I really cant do that or they'll keep trying to force more and more meds onto me like last time.
Hey @scared01 it sounds like you have a lot going on at the moment which I imagine would be overwhelming . Thanks for sharing. I'm glad to hear that the doctors know what is causing you pain and are providing you with treatment. Being physically in pain can also impact our mental health, because being in pain is far from fun and can really get in the way of us doing things we enjoy. So I'm guessing having a plan re. the pain moving forward has put your mind at ease in that respect. Has it?
You mentioned speaking to health professionals - what sort of health professional are you thinking of contacting? Have you got an existing psychologist or?
as school is back its abit easier but also at the same time it makes things more limiting as often I have the kids before and after school so I have to try and fit everything in between school hours. ive many appointments for myself and caree to catch up on as well so slowly getting on top of those again with a few coming up this week and next.
I don't have so many horses now, only the usual load which is mine and friends with occasional extra jobs but nothing over the top now.
I did end up in hospital overnight though having to under go some tests for some extreme pain-I have a rather good pain tolerance but this one was making me rather sick from the pain. thankfully they found what was causing it, started treatment and gave me stronger pain meds and im on the mend more now.
mentally though im spiralling downwards but im afraid to speak to the health professionals. I should be use to it by now but its so difficult to overcome the fears of talking to them esp based on past experiences
Hi @scared01,
I'm feeling very happy to hear from you, but also sad for you to hear about the pain you are in today I can imagine that must be adding to your stress at the moment. Sending hugs!
Reading back over your posts, it sounds like this last month has been so busy for you! It is amazing what our minds and bodies can do when we need to juggle so much, and I'm hearing that even when it doesn't feel like you are coping, you are finding a way to keep pushing and get things done. From where I stand what you have done is nothing short of remarkable We are so in awe of your strength and perseverance with so much to balance!
School goes back this week, does that mean you may have some more time for you in the coming weeks?
I also wanted to check and see how you are going with the horses? 15 is a lot to be looking after- how are you finding it at the moment?
today was busy but not as busy as expected. had a few hours to sit around and catch up on a few emails etc but nothing strenuous.
one of my physical ailments are acting up today and causing so much pain that pain relief hasn't been helping and its making it hard to breathe when the pain flares up
Wow @scared01, that sound like it would cause anybody a bunch of stress!!
I can see from your earlier post that you've done a really incredible job of juggling a whole bunch of responsibilities, as well as you mental health these holidays/ You should be so incredibly proud of yourself for doing so well, despite all the challenges you just mentioned.
How did you go with your busy day today?
it has been really hard mentally I think just mostly due to the nature of my mental health. I have a lot more lows then I do highs but Im not sure my medications are currently working and with a few things happening like struggling finances, car troubles, physical ailments causing issues, and things like feeling lonely due to no friends and things happening around me with ex-friends its making things quite tricky too. I also feel heaps of pressure atm within my roles as well
the days still been very busy, had a lot to do as normal, tomorrow is looking just as busy unfortunately.
Hiya @scared01, it is so good to hear from you! I am glad to hear that you can catch a break soon - you sound like you have been very busy. I am sorry that you have not been well physically or mentally. Do you want to share more about what is going on for you? Overloading yourself can really suck.. I think we can all be a bit guilty of this at times. Saying no can be difficult and the feeling of exhaustion and stress can seem endless. It is great that you have identified that you've overloaded yourself though.. and given yourself today to relax. How did your day go?
I have just been settling into the New Year and started studying again. Seems like studying never ends sometimes 
im so sorry I haven't been online! I didn't realise how long its been!!!
I have honestly been so busy ive barely had time to breathe. thankfully with school going back pretty soon it wont be so busy. ive had lots of babysitting jobs, 15 horses to care for everyday, plus trying to fit in appointments for my caree or myself (which I basically rescheduled all my appts till feb when school is back) plus also abit of redecorating in my house.
I haven't been that well mentally or physically though, being busy has been ok in one way but I think I overloaded myself (or got overloaded by others pushing things on me like having to babysit) way to much that it was also quite damaging as well. today I have one small job to do for 3 hours but other then that im at home chilling out and just catching up on some washing while its not raining and while theres not so much smoke outside as well. no babysitting, caree is away, and the horses are fine today with nothing that I really need to do.
how are you guys going?
