struggling

[scared01]

i am sorry i havent been here and havent been as supportive as i normally would. i have been really busy but also my mental health has really gone downhill along with my physical health. i am in the middle of getting some tests to confirm whether i have a form of cancer or if it something else causing these symptoms/  i am struggling quite badly where im at the point that im struggling to even ask for help, see the point in seeking support or even wanting to ask now. its not really the way i wanted to come back and i know i dont deserve support esp for being so neglectful here but it would be much appreciated if i could have some support and help. 

[TOM-RO]

Hi @scared01,

What an impactful and stressful thing you are going through...I'm especially sorry to hear you saying you don't deserve support - support is not something that is either deserved or not. So I am glad you a reaching out for support even though you feel this. What support/help do you feel you need?

[scared01]

hi @TOM-RO
i dont really know what i need. its just really hard right now and theres alot of things happening here. i feel so alone in all of this. i havent told anyone else about the possibility of cancer yet, i dont want them to worry or butt in and try to dominate everything i say or want to do. i couldnt tell them anyway, this cancer can really only be caught through intimate relations and for me that wasnt something i had agreed to.

[scared01]

thanks for the support.

[WheresMySquishy]

@scared01  That sounds so difficult. I remember being tested for cancer a few times and it wasn't fun at all. Once, I was told that there was a possibility I had leukemia, but thankfully I didn't. It's so hard not knowing what is wrong. It's almost impossible not to worry about it. All we can really do is trust the doctors and the process.

If you are being tested for a gynecological kind of cancer, it could reassure you to know that having symptoms doesn't usually indicate cancer in young people, or at least that's what my gynecologist told me when I was going through some tests. Unfortunately, the tests can be pretty invasive. There are also some things that can look like cancer but are benign (which is what happened to me), and the only way to tell are through biopsies.

I'm praying for you.

[scared01]

im glad your tests came back clear @WheresMySquishy i can imagine how you wouldve been feeling. ive been put on the urgent list and see the specialist in 2 weeks then go from there.

[WheresMySquishy]

@scared01  I think it's a good thing that you are being seen quickly and your concerns are being taken seriously. Generally, the earlier that things can be treated, the better. I was a private patient so there was no waiting list for me.

Another thing my gynecologist told me as I about to have surgery was that if he found something, he would tell me my options. There are lots of different treatment options now depending on the extent of the cancer. Medicine has come a long way with these kinds of cancers. So if worst comes to worst, the prognosis might not be too bad.

[scared01]

thats true @WheresMySquishy
there are alot if advances, i doubt it would be but there is that possibility with everyone harping on about it. i guess ill find out within the coming weeks what it is how to treat it etc.

[scared01]

why cant i just be ok even for a few days. its hard to know im failing at everything i do

[WheresMySquishy]

@scared01  I'm so sorry you're feeling so down. Going through your own health issues whilst also being a carer is so hard. I don't think you're a failure. I think you're pretty resilient.

Is there anything that's made you feel this way that you wouldn't mind sharing on here?