Turning Negatives Into Positives
At the suggestion of Lightuptheworld, I thought I'd start another 'Turning Negatives into Positives' thread like there is on the old forum. Below is a quote from Antria who started the thread on the previous forum which I think explains the idea of the thread quite well.
"Sometimes it can be helpful to turn our thinking around and begin to challenge the way we look at things. Turning negatives into positives is a way of doing this! Basically, think of something that happened today, this week, this month or at some other time that felt negative and see if you can find a positive in it (or that came out of it)."
I find posting in this thread really helps me to look at things in a different way or see positives that I might not have noticed if I'm in a negative headspace. I'll start the ball rolling:
Negative: My friend didn't turn up to class this morning and I was worried I would be alone because I don't really know anyone else in the class.
Positive: It gave me a chance to sit with new people and get to know them better 🙂
Over to you!
Positive: not everything that happened was bad.
Negative: stupid voices. I'm over it.
Positive: they did leave me alone most of the day, I should be happy with that
POS: It'll go away, I'll be fine.
NEG: I feel so hot, in my head.
POS: It's just a headache and cold/flu (I have no idea what the difference is, exactly :P), it'll go away.
NEG: This. Stupid. Exam.
POS: Come on, I can do this! It's not too long till the due date and I CAN do it. Please.
NEG: I am physically, very unwell. Not just with this stupid cold, but everything. My foot, my ears, my eyes, my head. Just everything hurts.
POS: I need to eat better. 😛 I just need to motivate myself to actually eat better.
NEG: Just, this exam... it's so unbelievably hard. I'm already drowning closer and closer to the deadline but I certainly don't feel any closer to finishing it.
POS: I will finish it. Shit or not, I will finish it.
NEG: I hate being sick all the time! My nose seems to be always blocked, I have horrible headaches all the time! When was the last time I truly felt well-rested? I don't even know! I hate this so much.
POS: Really, there isn't a positive. What can I do? my sleep schedule is ruined, I'm too weak to seek out medical help or anything. I just suffer and complain.
That makes a lot of sense. Exhaustion always seems to make Bad Brain's voice louder. Plus, while you've had some really awesome moments this week (like doing a fantastic job at that interview), it's also been a really exhausting one. Not having meds for a day would have left you way out of whack, and you've been working really hard 24/7 to stay safe. It's been amazing work you should be proud of, but it's not easy work. It's tiring and it can feel endless.
How are you going at self-care tonight? After the week you've had, I think you deserve to have every reward you can imagine for yourself.
POS: Life. 🙂
NEG: My brother is such a horrid pile of droppings. A horrible, inconsiderate piece of trash.
POS: The time will come when he grows up. I believe it will, despite my lost patience on the matter.
NEG: I hate typing on my phone so much. Typo after typo!!!!
POS: Just... get over it.
If I remember, I'll continue this tomorrow because... because I can't do it now. For one thing, these typos are killing me!
Positive: I think I can keep going for just a little bit longer
Neg: I can't stop crying right now
Pos: crying is good. I need to let it out. It helps even tho I hate it.
@redhead I'm so, so sorry to hear you've been struggling so hard today. This week has been a huge one for you, you must be exhausted. I'm also really sorry to hear that you didn't feel safe enough in the emergency department to let your guard down and tell them how you were really feeling.
I want you to know that it isn't a failure, though. First of all, you got to the emergency department. Well done. That is awesome. We are so proud of you for taking care of yourself and making sure you got to safety. Second of all, to let your guard down when you're feeling so unsafe, after such a long period of being unsafe, must feel like the hardest thing in the world. It's an awfully big mountain to climb all in one go.
So I have two questions for you:
1. What can we do to help you let it down, a little at a time? What steps could you talk about with your case manager, for example, to help you have strategies in place for when you need to explain that you're feeling scared and unsafe, but don't have the mental energy to drop the smile?
2. What can we do tonight to help you stay safe and actually feel like you are safe?
We're right here. Take your time.
@Bay52VU, i am glad to hear it went okay and this guy backed off, office stuff can be so stressful!
I'm really glad you're safe @redhead. Do you feel like doing any self care, or maybe some distractional techniques to help with the thoughts?
Pos- I'm alive, I need to deal with it, it's actually a good thing, I wouldn't be enjoying a lovely cup of tea if it worked. I need to remember the little things. And if I did die it would have hurt a lot of people, I need to remember that too.
First of all, @redhead, I just want to say how glad I am that you are still here - and I'm betting all of the people who have been here much longer than me are immeasurably glad too.
It must be so hard to be staring down thoughts that heavy. Finding positive things in your life when you're feeling suicidal is a brave, difficult and impressive thing to do, even if it doesn't always feel that way.
Are you feeling safe tonight?
I know it doesnt feel like it will right now @j95 but it will in time.
Have you seen Kimmy Schmidt, the Netflix TV show? She said that if you can just get through 10 seconds, then try for another 10 seconds, and another. Until the time has passed.
Is there something you could do to distract yourself from those thoughts/feelings?
Pos: I'm feeling a bit better, I'm getting through this. I'll just keep working at it
Neg: I feel hopeless
Pos: I am not hopeless
Neg: I feel like it's my fault
Pos: it's not my fault, I'm doing what I can to help myself
Great positives @Creativegirl12 🙂
Do you have a safety plan, or is that something you could maybe work on? Check out this thread for help.
Pos: hey at least I finally slept, over 24hrs was great.
Neg:I'm stuck in hospital now
Pos: maybe these new meds they put me on today will help...
Neg: I hate myself and my life so much.
Pos: so does everyone else so it doesn't matter.
Hope you are going ok tonight @redhead, hang in there you have some great support on hand.
@N1ghtW1ngthat sounds like a good excuse. Lots of people are late to things, so I reckon it's understandable to be a bit late to catch up on some sleep.
It may not help but most other people who are in the city are too focused on what they're doing and on themselves to pay much attention to anyone else. So they won't be paying much attention to anything else in their surroundings and you won't really need to interact with them.
Feeling afraid but deciding to face it anyway, even for a small portion of time, is super brave.
If you're open to the idea, perhaps you could try to visualise what it'd be like if everything went well and you had fun?
