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Finding a mentor or elder

I don't really have anybody in my life that I have a connection with. My parents arent/were not great people at all and I prefer to stay as far away as possible from my Mum and I dont know my grandparents so they are ruled out. 

I think I need to find someone who just be there for me when I need, almost like a grandparent role, if that makes sense. It would help me a lot.

I've heard that you can find these people but how? what do i do for that?

 

Do I post on gumtree like that old man did for a fishing mate? Will I just see someone in the supermarket and decide to join in with them? I don't know thats why I'm making this thread

j95
j95Posted 06-03-2017 09:21 PM

Comments

 
j95
j95Posted 10-04-2017 08:01 PM
Hey @Bree-RO don't mean to be a pest I'm just tagging you in this because of that ^ I thought you might find it interesting idk it's there anyway
 
j95
j95Posted 10-04-2017 06:20 PM
Yeah I will definitely I might make a thread even though I have this one @Ngaio-RO
 
j95
j95Posted 30-03-2017 03:36 PM
I just called them @Ngaio-RO I did it!!
 
 
N1ghtW1ng
N1ghtW1ngPosted 30-03-2017 04:21 PM
Awesome @j95! 😄
 
j95
j95Posted 30-03-2017 02:43 PM
I think I'm going to call this place now I'm so scared
 
 
Ngaio-RO
Ngaio-ROPosted 30-03-2017 03:11 PM

Hey @j95 I hate to hit you with a bunch of cliches but I'm going to because I reckon this place could be awesome.

 

So...

 

you have nothing to fear, but fear itself.

 

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

 

If nothing changes, nothing changes.

 

Want me to go on?

 

 
j95
j95Posted 29-03-2017 08:25 AM
@letitgo I think it will be good for me, meet some people to connect with. They run both group stuff and individual it's like a community by the looks of things.
Yeah could try it, I'm just so nervous. 😞
 
j95
j95Posted 28-03-2017 10:24 PM
Hmm still haven't found anything suitable unfortunately, perhaps I should rethink going to that healing centre?
 
 
letitgo
letitgoPosted 29-03-2017 08:15 AM

Yeah @j95 the healing centre is an option. And if it's a drop in thing like you said, you could go once or twice and if you decide it's not for you, at least you know you gave it a go. What do you reckon?

 
T4ils
T4ilsPosted 15-03-2017 10:51 AM
I had an elderly person who taught me how to drive.. we had a really good relationship but when it finished, I never contacted her again. She didn't contact me either but I am not sure if she'd be allowed to take the first step. It's been over a year since it's finished and I think about her occasionally.. I get hesistant to contact her because it's been so long but at the same time, I think "who cares about silly social norms" but I still haven't..
 
 
letitgo
letitgoPosted 17-03-2017 12:16 PM

Hmm @T4ils It can be hard in those friendship/professional relationship situations to know whether to take the first step/initiate contact. When I'm deliberating over something (usually whether or not to buy an item), I ask myself if I'd regret it if I didn't. So, would you regret it if you didn't contact your driving instructor?

 
 
Felkyr
FelkyrPosted 09-03-2017 06:03 PM

Hi there @j95

 

This is a good place to look online -> https://www.reddit.com/r/FamiliesYouChoose/ 

 

I've been a part of that community on Reddit for a long time now, and I've seen many people make some very real connections there. There is also a Discord server you can join if you just want to chat with the users of that forum first to see what they are like. 

 

After lurking for a while, most people post their own introductory post, explaining what they are seeking, and often someone will reply that they are willing to fill the role or they know someone who can. 

 

Best of luck. 

 

edit. You may first have to be logged-in to Reddit to view this forum, or try searching for it manually with the search bar on Reddit. i.e. search for <FamiliesYouChoose>. Sorry for the inconvenience. 

 
 
 
Ben-RO
Ben-ROPosted 13-03-2017 12:49 PM

Whoa great ideas @Felkyr @Trikle Trade @DirtWitch @Birdeye! What do you reckon you'll have a crack at @j95?

 
 
 
 
j95
j95Posted 13-03-2017 12:52 PM
I'm not sure yet @Ben-RO last year my counsellor kept trying to push me to go to this aboriginal healing centre, they do group stuff but I never went, maybe that would be a good place too, just not sure about it.
 
 
 
 
 
Chessca_H
Chessca_HPosted 13-03-2017 02:13 PM

@j95 that sounds like an interesting idea, what aren't you sure about with it?

 
 
 
 
 
j95
j95Posted 13-03-2017 02:18 PM
Nervous about going @Chessca_H
 
 
 
 
 
Chessca_H
Chessca_HPosted 13-03-2017 02:21 PM

@j95 what part makes you nervous?

 
 
 
 
 
j95
j95Posted 13-03-2017 02:23 PM
New people, new place, what if I'm not welcome because I don't know much about my background @Chessca_H
 
 
 
 
 
N1ghtW1ng
N1ghtW1ngPosted 13-03-2017 03:18 PM
When do they meet @j95? Is there a way you can ease yourself into it?
 
 
 
 
 
j95
j95Posted 13-03-2017 07:01 PM
Its sort of like a drop in centre I think @N1ghtW1ng so i think you can sort of go whenever
its this https://www.facebook.com/Minajalku-Aboriginal-Healing-Centre-188688264819739/

my counsellor said that i could do with something more community based rather than clinical thats why he suggested it
 
 
 
 
 
DirtWitch
DirtWitchPosted 13-03-2017 03:03 PM

@j95 If you go to university there are also many universities who have an Aboriginal/Indigenous students department where they hold community events and hang outs! It seems like a good way to get connected to the local elders 🙂

 
 
 
 
 
j95
j95Posted 10-04-2017 05:36 PM

Im not sure if anyone saw but ages ago I went to this primary school to discuss advertising in their newsletter and the lady at the office was actually an old carer of mine. Her and husband didn't look after me for very long, probably only a few months and it was pretty early on I think but they were so nice even if I didn't think that at the time, looking back there were by far the nicest people out of all of my placements, the only people that actually cared I think . I thought I might try getting in contact with them. Maybe nothing will come of it, but something might so worth a shot. Worse case, they completley reject me, which I'm sort of used to, best case I can talk to some really nice people

 
 
 
 
 
Ngaio-RO
Ngaio-ROPosted 10-04-2017 05:39 PM

Yes @j95 I absolutely remember you mentioning her.

That sounds like a great idea.

Can you describe what you're picturing in your mind when you think about contacting them?

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