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[SLOW-MO GR] - Getting out of your comfort zone and why it's important! 11-17 March
Hi there!
Ah, the comfort zone. If life were an amusement park, the comfort zone would be a blanket fort right by the entrance...
It doesn't seem that bad in there, and it isn't! It's comfortable and made just the way you like it. Maybe there's WIFI, Netflix and ice cream in there. Why would you ever want to leave?
Unfortunately, the walls of the blanket fort aren't enough to keep you from hearing all the noise outside. You listen to the commotion and start to wonder... are those screams of joy? What are the people out there up to? What is going on?
It seems so happy out there! But... you're already happy here. Here has everything you need. And besides, what if those aren't screams of joy but something else... no, you can't go out there. You try to stop the thought at once..
But you can't get the 'what-ifs' out of your mind! What if it's no fun out there? What if you do have fun? You can't know for sure unless you try.
We may feel this way within many areas of our lives. By sticking to what is comfortable and familiar to us, we can predict what's going to happen, so everything is regulated. The risk of future anxiety and distress is lessened.
But sometimes, staying in our comfort zones stops us from doing things we really want to do. Worse still, it can stop us from discovering other new and exciting possibilities! Exposing ourselves to new challenges and changes helps us learn and grow. So, what's going to get you out of that comfort zone?
Maybe you start with small baby steps and focus on getting on that merry-go-round first...
Or maybe you gather your courage and jump straight in line for the tallest roller-coaster!
Either way, you step out of that blanket fort and look around. You didn't know the amusement park was so big! There's so many rides you didn't notice before. As you walk away, you turn back and think how small and cramped that old blanket fort looks now....
Join us next week starting on Monday 11th March to chat about getting out of your comfort zone and why it is important to challenge yourself sometimes with a new question each day!
Good morning everyone! It's Monday, so let's get this party started.
Here's our first (related!) questions of the week:
1. Does getting out of your comfort zone always have to be extreme (like skydiving?) or can it be applied every day?
2. If it can be applied every day, What are some small daily actions that we can take to step out of our comfort zone?
Let us know your thoughts!
Thought I would pop in and answer some GR questions, as I have been taking a break from the forums and am slowly getting back on. I must admit I have been missing GRs 🙂
1. Does getting out of your comfort zone always have to be extreme (like skydiving?) or can it be applied every day?
For starters I will never skydive so if you see me jump out of plane it is not by choice haha! It can be little things like deciding to meet a friend you haven't seen a while for coffee or speaking up in class, you can also start small and then build up to extreme ones. Last year I was aiming to get out of my comfort with my end goal being volunteering at a week long event during Schoolies/Leavers (it's a safe space for teenagers to come and have fun) which was 2.5 hours away from home and would require me to work with people I had never met and do stuff which was way out of my comfort zone. So I started doing small things that were out of my comfort zone, I went to events where I only knew one other person, I made an effort during my prac placements to meet people and build relationships and I started asking myself 'why not?!' when I was given opportunities that I never would normally do.
By the end of the year I not only did the event I had so much fun and made awesome relationships and learnt that I could get out of my comfort zone. But in order to do it I had to start small and that's something people should understand and accept, there's no point jumping in the deep end if you don't know how to swim.
2. If it can be applied every day, What are some small daily actions that we can take to step out of our comfort zone?
So like I mentioned above I started doing little things like talking to people in class I didn't know that well or at prac joining in an art therapy class with people I didn't know. I wouldn't say that I have social anxiety but in some situations I feel overwhelmed and have no idea what to do so I stand there awkwardly, so when I went to events I made an effort to chat to people I didn't know and just focus on one step at a time. I think it helps to have a goal of something you want to do and work towards it and then have lots of little goals as stepping stones, but that's just the way I work.
1. Does getting out of your comfort zone always have to be extreme (like skydiving?) or can it be applied every day?
No, it doesn't have to be as 'extreme' as skydiving, it can definitely be applied to every day activities or scenarios we might less comfortable in doing. But that doesn't mean it feels any less extreme! Take it from me, I've been both skydiving and bungee jumping yet I feel I get more of an adrenaline rush after raising my hand in class to answer a question. I've had sleepless nights worrying about meeting a new person for the first time. Seriously, I think my anxiety has messed up my perception of danger.
2. If it can be applied every day, What are some small daily actions that we can take to step out of our comfort zone?
I think some good advice would be to try something new every day. It can be big or small: whether it's going to a new place, ordering a different coffee than your usual, or signing up for a new club/ activity. If you're unsure about an event/ activity/ whatever is pushing you to the boundaries of your comfort zone, you could try journaling your thoughts or making a list of pros and cons. I also find that venting to someone is always helpful.
no i dont think it has to be extreme 🙂 @Hozzles i had to giggle at your example of having gone skydiving before yet you get more anxious raising your hand in class. I have done some adrenaline sorts of things but not that extreme yet i could barely raise my hand in class.
i think even the small things count too.
2. if it can be applied every day, what are some small daiy actions that we can take to step out of our comfort zone?
going somewhere new, going for a walk on your own (if thats not something your use to doing) try a different self care activity, perhaps try a new hobby, join in with an interest group..
What a great topic this week!!
A few years ago I drew myself this ven diagram after working through some anxiety to do a lot of new things that were way outside my comfort zone:
It is so very true. You know that feeling before you go to a job interview, or before you go to the first class of a new hobby, or before you go to a party where you don't know anyone...? that feeling is you leaving your comfort zone. And all the magic happens once you do!
Sure staying home like you do every other night is nice and safe, but putting yourself out there and trying something different is the only way life changes and improves.
Plus, when you look back over your year and reflect on the best moments - you are much more likely to remember fondly that one Tuesday you went to the art class, than the dozens of Tuesdays you stayed home and wanted Netflix.
1. Does getting out of your comfort zone always have to be extreme (like skydiving?) or can it be applied every day?
Extreme is a very subjective concept- for some people sky diving is their job, and well within their comfort zone. For others of us, going on a blind date, going to a market alone, meeting up with a friend for dinner.. or anything that we don't usually do, can feel extreme if it's outside our comfort zone. So no, the things don't have to be dramatic or particularity big events, but feeling terrified is probably a good sign that you're leaving your comfort zone.
I think an important thing to remember is that not everything outside of our comfort zone is worth doing - its important that that thing aligns with your values, or that you have a hunch that something good could come of doing it - even if that something is really small, like having a good coffee, or learning that you dont like doing something !
2. If it can be applied every day, What are some small daily actions that we can take to step out of our comfort zone?
Small every day things can be as small as saying good morning to people at work or uni, asking someone to sit with you at lunch, going to a new place, joining a library - anything that expands your life in some small way.
1. Does getting out of your comfort zone always have to be extreme (like skydiving?) or can it be applied every day?
2. If it can be applied every day, What are some small daily actions that we can take to step out of our comfort zone?
Like Gina, @May_ I agree that extreme is subjective and very individual. There are certainly daily tasks that can push us outside of our comfort zones and things we can do to push ourselves to the edge and outside of our comfort zones in our daily life.
For me, I make it a regular point of initiating conversation with cashiers when I go shopping.
Recently with work in the slower less busy times, I make a point of engaging in conversation with my colleagues and getting to know them a bit better.
Todays questions 🙂
- Is there anything you regret not doing or trying because you were too far in your comfort zone?
- What are some reasons you’re not stepping out of your comfort zone?
Does getting out of your comfort zone always have to be extreme (like skydiving?) or can it be applied every day?
I believe getting out of your comfort can be as easy as devoting a few minutes to learning a new thing each day. I think everyone has their own 'comfort zone'. I swam with sharks but I found it a lot easier and less anxiety inducing than learning to drive, having interviews and public speaking.
If it can be applied every day, What are some small daily actions that we can take to step out of our comfort zone?
I think this depends on the situation and what your comfort zone is. I think it's useful to have a graded plan in order to build towards something new. For example, I had to learn physiotherapy exercises when I experienced some injuries and pain in my arms. Before physiotherapy, I would struggle to use my arms for long periods of time and carry things. The first few weeks were spent doing simple stretching exercises, then I moved onto more complex stretching exercises, then I learned how to use a resistance band, then I learned how to lift weights. Eventually, I was able to increase my tolerance and the quantity of the exercises and lift weights while exercising my legs at the same time. Now I can carry heavier items and use my arms all day. It was a real challenge getting out of the comfort zone of what I could tolerate but I'm glad I took small steps every day to increase my confidence and reach my goals. I also think it's useful to decide on a time every day to try new skills.
Is there anything you regret not doing or trying because you were too far in your comfort zone?
I don't really regret anything but there have been a lot of times I have missed out on opportunities due to not getting out of my comfort zone, such as not wanting to travel somewhere far on my own or do something in front of other people.
What are some reasons you’re not stepping out of your comfort zone?
I think it comes down to a lack of confidence and experience in trying new things. I also tend to think of the worst case scenarios and don't know how to prepare for them.
@gina-RO - I love that diagram! I've seen similar diagrams, but most don't have the two circles touching. I find the venn-diagram version better because it suggests that our comfort zone is always changing and expanding the more we get out of it!
@scared01 - Hahahah, it's true! I guess it helps that doing 'extreme' things has immediate relief (phew, I survived!) rather than allowing me to keep second-guessing what I said.
@WheresMySquishy - oh wow, the learning to drive thing, too! The last time I've had a lesson was three years ago. And yet a few months ago I jumped off a bridge (for bungee jumping). Really made me think there, ahah.
You guys also made me think about how we all have different thresholds for 'extreme' -- constantly I run into people who try to be comforting and well meaning by saying things like 'oh, don't worry! It's easy!' or 'just do it, I can do it!'. In the future it might be helpful to remind them that their comfort zones may be different to mine.
1. Is there anything you regret not doing or trying because you were too far in your comfort zone?I don't really like regretting anything, but there's a lot I could have done differently. What immediately comes to mind is my Studio Arts Year 12 project, I was planning to go absolutely wild with it and implement bizarre forms e.g. using doors and mirrors in my presentation. I didn't want to be too outlandish or made fun of in my class, so I stuck to regular photography. Year 12 was one of my most painful years but I'd go back just so I could go more wild in Studio Art.
Other things include not going to university events or avoiding any attempts to make new friends.
2. What are some reasons you’re not stepping out of your comfort zone?
Fear of failure is a huge one. Also fear of embarrassment/rejection. Basically, just anxiety ahah.
Love everyone's answers so far - such an interesting topic to think about and challenge ourselves on.
Am going to quickly get in on the questions from yesterday!
1. Is there anything you regret not doing or trying because you were too far in your comfort zone?
I agree with you @Hozzles that I don't like to regret things! There are certainly times I missed out on going to things and wished I had gone- but those experiences are all learnings for next time. I've learnt from the times I've missed out on opportunities for travel, study, work or social events to build the confidence to just do it next time! It's all a part of life.
I've had plenty of times that I have very nearly stayed home and missed things, but decided to go last minute, and had a great experience.
2. What are some reasons you’re not stepping out of your comfort zone?
I think anxiety about what could go wrong is a big reason to stay in the comfort zone. Another thing is just feeling really comfortable and happy within the comfort zone! Sometimes staying in the comfort zone is a-okay - for example, when you're sick or rundown, or need to recooperate - comfort zones are really helpful!
But I think stepping outside of the comfort zone on a regular basis is what's important - dipping a toe out of the comfort zone every day, and maybe a full body out and about of the zone once a week could be a good guide for example!
It's so true @Hozzles that our comfort zones are always shifting and expanding!
Hey everyone! New day, new questions!
1. Is taking baby steps more useful than diving straight into it? Why/ why not?
2. What are some strategies that can make getting out of your comfort zone less painful?
1. Is taking baby steps more useful than diving straight into it? Why/ why not?
I feel like this question ties in really nicely with what @ErinsAntics said earlier. Sometimes we need to start small in order to build our capacity to do things, and that's more than ok! Sometimes you need to dip your toe in before taking the plunge, you know? @WheresMySquishy i agree with you that having all the information you need before making a choice that takes you out of your comfort zone is really important, i'm so sorry that your family member had such an awful outcome 😞
Overall, i guess it really does depend on the person and the situation.
Baby steps can take you miles in the right direction, but sometimes pulling off the band-aid is the only way to do things!
2. What are some strategies that can make getting out of your comfort zone less painful?
Baby steps 🐋 do do do do do do 🐟 (sorry couldn't resist :P)
Also i feel like having someone with you to help extend your comfort zone/ safety net can be really helpful! I do worry that i have a habit of using my sister as a crutch in some situations, which isn't helpful for me long-term/fair to her, but often I'm able to do things i otherwise would freak out/ overthink doing just having her with me, no crutch needed. The buddy system guys, it's a thing!
1. Is taking baby steps more useful than diving straight into it? Why/ why not?
I'm the worst person to ask for this. Mental health professionals even find it weird that while I have extreme anxiety in everyday tasks, I have almost no trouble 'jumping into' things. For example, my first romantic relationship was extremely long distance (she lived in the US). I managed to travel to the US all on my own (my first ever holiday alone/ staying somewhere else without immediate contact with family). I still have no idea how I managed to do it, but I'm so proud of myself and glad I did. I went on a tour to the Grand Canyon where I knew absolutely no one! Here's a picture I took.
But yes, please take baby steps whenever you can. Jumping straight into it can be dangerous for both your physical and mental health. In hindsight I was not at all prepared to handle the pressures of a LDR (especially for my first ever relationship) and the fact that I 'just jumped into' everything likely worsened my anxiety overall. Another experience I remember is going to an orientation camp for my university and ending up getting physically sick due to the mental stress that being with new people for the first time in ages + isolated from family with no 'escape' caused me. Taking baby steps helps you to reflect and recognise your progress as you go along (even if you realise along the way the thing outside your comfort zone not be for you!), and in the end you're better off for it.
2. What are some strategies that can make getting out of your comfort zone less painful?
Taking baby steps! Also, remembering it's okay to take a break and focus on your health. Meditation and mindfulness is great when having breaks. And also, yes, a strong support system cheering you on is the best.
Happy Thursday everyone! Here's today's questions:
Why is it important to challenge ourselves?
Who is someone you admire and when do you think they’ve gone out of their comfort zone?
Looking forward to seeing your fabulous responses!
Why is it important to challenge ourselves?
I think it's important to challenge ourselves because life is all about growth and change. We cannot grow and change into our full potential without challenging ourselves to take the next step in life. If we didn't challenge ourselves, life would constantly be the same and stagnant. I always surprise myself when I do something challenging and see that I was capable of doing it all along. Of course, sometimes we don't always succeed, but I always try and see failed attempts as lessons to improve my next try
Who is someone you admire and when do you think they’ve gone out of their comfort zone?
Beyonce!! I watched a documentary of her preparing for a performance at Billboard Music Awards where she would be performing in front of an interactive, fully LED light stage & floor - technology and a style that had never been done before at the time. Before I watched the documentary, I had already seen the performance and it was flawless. It was so insightful to see the progress of her preparation, she spoke candidly about how didn't know if she could pull this performance off as there was so many new concepts and moves to grasp. One incorrect move would be extremely obvious with the new stage set up. I watched as she rehearsed (even in a hotel hallway - because there wasn't enough room!), fell down, failed and tried and tried again - I was so inspired. I think a massive part of her long-lasting career is her motivation to always challenge herself and push the limits as the times change.
Why is it important to challenge ourselves?
It's important for us to challenge ourselves as no great rewards are ever earned without taking a risk. As my Mum used to say to me, if you're comfortable, you're not growing. At the time, I never liked this advice, because who wants to be uncomfortable, let alone ON PURPOSE? However, now that I'm a little older, I can appreciate what she meant - if you allow yourself to stagnate and don't strive to be better and do better, then you will stay in the same position forever. Opportunities often don't magically fall at people's feet. In reality, you have to go out and chase what you want, and that means putting yourself on the line.
Who is someone you admire and when do you think they’ve gone out of their comfort zone?
My all-time favourite researcher and my idol as a human being, Brené Brown, is the prime example of the good that can come from pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone. As a qualitative researcher, she spent most of her career only being recognised within the academic community, and says that she went to great lengths to keep herself small by making her work inaccessible to the general public and making sure it sounded 'smart'. However, when she was asked to do a Tedx Talk in Houston, she decided to make herself vulnerable by complementing her research insights with personal anecdotes that put her whole life out there for the world to see. While at the time, this felt like a risky move, her talk has been viewed over 38 million times, and she has gone on to travel the world and write amazing books to help people escape shame and live their best lives.
I love this quote from her as I think it sums up my experience of challenging myself perfectly:
“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”
Pushing yourself outside your comfort zone or trying something new isn't really about the outcome - it's about learning what you are capable of, and facing the dark and scary corners of life with courage.
https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability?language=en
1. Is taking baby steps more useful than diving straight into it? Why/ why not?
I think taking baby steps can be more useful because diving straight into a new situation may be dangerous, especially if it involves a physical task. I think it's important to learn about safety procedures before you start doing something physically demanding. One of my family members was pushed into doing something new without being given information on the potential consequences and it had a big impact on our lives. I wish they had received advice from other people about it, rather than just one person, beforehand. Then they could have made a more balanced decision. Additionally, it may be better to take some new tasks slow to build up your confidence.
2. What are some strategies that can make getting out of your comfort zone less painful?
I found seeking support from family and friends very useful when making a lifestyle change. I also found that making a plan and trying the least scary steps first worked out better for me. Setting goals was also useful for me as doing so made me have something to look forward to achieving. Muhammad Ali has been quoted as saying to himself 'suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion' and I found that telling myself that helped me learn new skills that would benefit my life.
Hi everyone!
Loving everyone's responses. You all rock!
I'm here for today's question!
Think about a time when you stepped out of your comfort zone and something really good happened! Share a couple of sentences about your experience!
Travelling overseas was a huge one for me. I was terrified of flying (I used to really struggle with elevators, trains and generally any confined spaces) and by travelling I have been able to largely overcome this fear by doing it so much! My motivation and thinking around this is to ask myself "am I prepared to miss this opportunity because of my fears?" and reminding myself that I am safe and it is worth the struggle. This has made day to day life so much easier too and opened up potential to do so many more things in life 😄
So inspired by both of you @missep and @May_!
This one is a work in progress but I'm proud of myself because it isn't something I would normally do - I am heading home from work and there is this party on tonight that I really wanted to go to, but I don't know anyone going very well. BUT, my bus is about to drive past there, so I figure I will step outside my comfort zone and check it out. As you guys mentioned, I'm a little nervous, but I'm definitely not going to let fear stop me because I don't want to miss out anymore.
It really pays off!