Self harm - coping strategies and alternatives

A few ideas to get started:

•ripping up paper

•snapping twigs/ leaves

•destroying a cardboard box

•drawing

•listening to music

•watching a funny movie or video 

•drawing on yourself with felt tip pen

•an extension of the one above is drawing a butterfly where you'd normally self harm. The butterfly can stay there until it fades, and the idea is to not hurt the butterfly. 

•wrapping yourself tightly in a warm or weighted blanket

•anything that needs fine motor skills like braiding your hair, making something

•playing games 

These are great ideas thank you for sharing @Tiny_leaf !

I like to try do things that will hold my focus until the feelings/thoughts pass like:

- having a cold/hot shower with some loud upbeat music playing

- sorting through my clothes/organising or folding washing

- cooking a meal that will take time and attention

- cleaning my room/bathroom/kitchen

and if the feelings don’t pass - reaching out to a trusted friend (provided they are in a safe headspace themselves and can give the emotional energy) or logging onto an online chat

- Massaging yourself with cheap tools like lacrosse balls, rollers and spiky balls. Careful you don't press them into your skin too hard though!
- Squeezing a stress ball.
- Pressing or squeezing squishies.
- Stretching slime, rubber bands, or resistance bands.
- Writing or scribbling furiously.
- Throwing pillows or stuffed animals around.

A list of art/ craft based ideas, plus other ideas that can help keep you busy:

•Drawing or painting

•Knitting/ similar

•Making friendship bracelets

•Origami

  •If you make something small, like puffy stars, you could put one in a jar for every time you wanted to self harm but didn't, as a reminder that you've made it through those feelings safely before

•Coloring in

•Making those weird balloon and flour stress balls 

•Putting on makeup, styling your hair or painting your nails - this can be simple or elaborate, depending on what you want

•Beading/ jewelry making

•Making and using textured/ aromatherapy dough, cloud dough, or slime

•Baking/ cooking

•Box/ blanket fort (I don't care if it's childish, I'll still be making these things when I'm fifty. Plus they have the added benefit of giving a sense of security) 

•Writing, especially creative writing

•Making things from blue-tack. I personally like making blue-tack creatures, who then live on my desk until I need them

A list of ideas for safely letting out anger:

•ripping/ crumpling up paper

•snapping twigs/ leaves

•destroying a cardboard box

•hitting a pillow or mattress 

•breathing exercises (a simple one is to breathe in for 4 seconds, then breathe out for 4 seconds. Repeat this for as long as you need)

•going into an open space and kicking a soccer ball/ similar (be careful not to hit anyone/ anything)

•scribbling on a piece of paper

•going for a run, jog or walk

•going somewhere quiet and screaming, or screaming into a pillow like @gina-RO suggested

•expressing it through writing or drawing

  •you could write a letter/ message to whoever you're angry with, without sending it

•tearing apart and reforming a ball of play dough/ other dough

•throw a netball/ similar against a brick wall, catch it when it bounces back, repeat (this is a common netball training drill, it can be oddly satisfying)

A list of grounding strategies:

These are good if you're feeling numb, dissociating or having a flashback or panic attack.

•holding an ice cube

•doing a breathing exercise

•eating a very strong mint or sour lolly

•tasting a few drops of chili sauce or lemon juice

•using a lotion, perfume or moisturizer with a good scent

•smelling a block of scented soap or a scented candle

•using essential oils

•naming 4 things you see,  3 things you hear,  2 things you feel  and 1 thing you smell

•listening to music

•singing/ dancing to your favorite song

•using a weighted blanket/ weighted lap pad

•tightly hugging a large pillow or soft toy

What wonderful ideas, everyone! Here's some more.:

• Running yourself a bubble bath.
• Playing some video games.
• Working out (even if you get one of those grip trainers and squeeze it for a bit!).
• Hang out/ cuddle with your pet.
• Go for a walk or a run.
• Listening to music (you could listen to some guilty pleasures, or try to find new music to listen to!)

This is mostly how I calm myself, I'll be sure to add some more when I think of them! 

@Hozzles Bubbles are great!!

I try tearing tissues into tiny pieces, or listening to really loud music through my headphones.

There are so many useful strategies here - what a great thread!

Games that can help hold off urges to self harm:

These are free and you can play them online. I've only included ones that I'm familiar with, so feel free to add any others!

•Tetris 

  -https://tetris.com/play-tetris

  -rotate and move falling blocks. Each time a row is filled with blocks, the row disappears. The goal is to stop the blocks reaching the top of the screen but filling as many rows as possible

•Color fill

  -https://www.hoodamath.com/games/colorfill.html

  -you start off with a multi-colored square. You can control the color of the top left square, plus any consecutive blocks with the same color. The goal is to take over the whole square with a single color in less than 22 moves.

•Grow nano

  -http://www.hoodamath.com/games/grownanovol3.html

  -a cute "grow" game. You look after a little person, and help him recover his health. The goal is to click items in the right order to get him to full health.

•Mouse trap

  -https://www.hoodamath.com/games/mousetrap.html

  -a mouse is on a playing field where you can place hexagonal "walls". Every time you put up a wall, the mouse gets one move. The goal is to place walls in a way that traps the mouse on the field. 

•Stick ninja

  -https://www.hoodamath.com/games/stickninja.html

  -make a stick that's big enough to get the ninja to the next platform without making it so long that he walks off the edge 

•Hooda stacker

  -https://www.hoodamath.com/games/hoodastacker2.html

  -stack all of the blocks in a way that means none fall, to create a stable tower. (If anyone gets past level 29 then well done!! I'm still stuck there...)

•Fancy diver

  -https://www.hoodamath.com/games/fancydiver.html

  -help the diver get to the surface by removing the blocks of coral that are above him before time runs out

These ideas are awesome!

- Play a categories game (naming types of animals or other things for example).
- Play a game with other people. I like to play .io or multiplayer games. You could ask one of your family members or a friend to play with you.
- Play a relaxing game like Journey, Flower or #SelfCare. I heard that Endless Ocean was a good game for relaxation too but it's a bit old now. I also find clicker games like AbyssRium or Flutter relaxing.
- Put water on your face or hands.
- Do a body scan meditation.

- Watch ASMR videos.
- Accomplish a small task such as a household chore or creating or drawing something. I used to find making loom bands and blowing up balloons relaxing. It could be more useful to blow up the balloons with a pump.
- Sticking stickers into a book.
- Using a heat pack.

@WheresMySquishy I love Journey! It's such a beautiful game.

Your post reminded me that there's also a games section in these forums!

@Tiny_leaf  I just remembered all those simulation games like Stardew Valley, Story of Seasons, Harvest Moon, My Time at Portia, Animal Crossing and Rune Factory. A lot of them are very relaxing, especially the ones that run on slower time like Animal Crossing and Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life and the ones that involve you talking a lot to the villagers such as Rune Factory. They could be good options to hold off self-harm urges too.

The games section in the forums is also helpful!

OH MY GOODNESS WELL DONE!!!

How???