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Self harm - coping strategies and alternatives
A thread to share tips and strategies to help manage self harm.
A few ideas to get started:
•ripping up paper
•snapping twigs/ leaves
•destroying a cardboard box
•drawing
•listening to music
•watching a funny movie or video
•drawing on yourself with felt tip pen
•an extension of the one above is drawing a butterfly where you'd normally self harm. The butterfly can stay there until it fades, and the idea is to not hurt the butterfly.
•wrapping yourself tightly in a warm or weighted blanket
•anything that needs fine motor skills like braiding your hair, making something
•playing games
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These are great ideas thank you for sharing @Tiny_leaf !
I like to try do things that will hold my focus until the feelings/thoughts pass like:
- having a cold/hot shower with some loud upbeat music playing
- sorting through my clothes/organising or folding washing
- cooking a meal that will take time and attention
- cleaning my room/bathroom/kitchen
and if the feelings don’t pass - reaching out to a trusted friend (provided they are in a safe headspace themselves and can give the emotional energy) or logging onto an online chat
- Massaging yourself with cheap tools like lacrosse balls, rollers and spiky balls. Careful you don't press them into your skin too hard though!
- Squeezing a stress ball.
- Pressing or squeezing squishies.
- Stretching slime, rubber bands, or resistance bands.
- Writing or scribbling furiously.
- Throwing pillows or stuffed animals around.
Another one I had, was watching blackhead/pimple/cyst popping videos. They are sooo satisfying!
A list of art/ craft based ideas, plus other ideas that can help keep you busy:
•Drawing or painting
•Knitting/ similar
•Making friendship bracelets
•Origami
•If you make something small, like puffy stars, you could put one in a jar for every time you wanted to self harm but didn't, as a reminder that you've made it through those feelings safely before
•Coloring in
•Making those weird balloon and flour stress balls
•Putting on makeup, styling your hair or painting your nails - this can be simple or elaborate, depending on what you want
•Beading/ jewelry making
•Making and using textured/ aromatherapy dough, cloud dough, or slime
•Baking/ cooking
•Box/ blanket fort (I don't care if it's childish, I'll still be making these things when I'm fifty. Plus they have the added benefit of giving a sense of security)
•Writing, especially creative writing
•Making things from blue-tack. I personally like making blue-tack creatures, who then live on my desk until I need them
A list of ideas for safely letting out anger:
•ripping/ crumpling up paper
•snapping twigs/ leaves
•destroying a cardboard box
•hitting a pillow or mattress
•breathing exercises (a simple one is to breathe in for 4 seconds, then breathe out for 4 seconds. Repeat this for as long as you need)
•going into an open space and kicking a soccer ball/ similar (be careful not to hit anyone/ anything)
•scribbling on a piece of paper
•going for a run, jog or walk
•going somewhere quiet and screaming, or screaming into a pillow like @gina-RO suggested
•expressing it through writing or drawing
•you could write a letter/ message to whoever you're angry with, without sending it
•tearing apart and reforming a ball of play dough/ other dough
•throw a netball/ similar against a brick wall, catch it when it bounces back, repeat (this is a common netball training drill, it can be oddly satisfying)
A list of grounding strategies:
These are good if you're feeling numb, dissociating or having a flashback or panic attack.
•holding an ice cube
•doing a breathing exercise
•eating a very strong mint or sour lolly
•tasting a few drops of chili sauce or lemon juice
•using a lotion, perfume or moisturizer with a good scent
•smelling a block of scented soap or a scented candle
•using essential oils
•naming 4 things you see, 3 things you hear, 2 things you feel and 1 thing you smell
•listening to music
•singing/ dancing to your favorite song
•using a weighted blanket/ weighted lap pad
•tightly hugging a large pillow or soft toy
What wonderful ideas, everyone! Here's some more.:
- Running yourself a bubble bath.
- Playing some video games.
- Working out (even if you get one of those grip trainers and squeeze it for a bit!).
- Hang out/ cuddle with your pet.
- Go for a walk or a run.
- Listening to music (you could listen to some guilty pleasures, or try to find new music to listen to!)
This is mostly how I calm myself, I'll be sure to add some more when I think of them!
I try tearing tissues into tiny pieces, or listening to really loud music through my headphones.
There are so many useful strategies here - what a great thread!
Games that can help hold off urges to self harm:
These are free and you can play them online. I've only included ones that I'm familiar with, so feel free to add any others!
•Tetris
-https://tetris.com/play-tetris
-rotate and move falling blocks. Each time a row is filled with blocks, the row disappears. The goal is to stop the blocks reaching the top of the screen but filling as many rows as possible
•Color fill
-https://www.hoodamath.com/games/colorfill.html
-you start off with a multi-colored square. You can control the color of the top left square, plus any consecutive blocks with the same color. The goal is to take over the whole square with a single color in less than 22 moves.
•Grow nano
-http://www.hoodamath.com/games/grownanovol3.html
-a cute "grow" game. You look after a little person, and help him recover his health. The goal is to click items in the right order to get him to full health.
•Mouse trap
-https://www.hoodamath.com/games/mousetrap.html
-a mouse is on a playing field where you can place hexagonal "walls". Every time you put up a wall, the mouse gets one move. The goal is to place walls in a way that traps the mouse on the field.
•Stick ninja
-https://www.hoodamath.com/games/stickninja.html
-make a stick that's big enough to get the ninja to the next platform without making it so long that he walks off the edge
•Hooda stacker
-https://www.hoodamath.com/games/hoodastacker2.html
-stack all of the blocks in a way that means none fall, to create a stable tower. (If anyone gets past level 29 then well done!! I'm still stuck there...)
•Fancy diver
-https://www.hoodamath.com/games/fancydiver.html
-help the diver get to the surface by removing the blocks of coral that are above him before time runs out
These ideas are awesome!
- Play a categories game (naming types of animals or other things for example).
- Play a game with other people. I like to play .io or multiplayer games. You could ask one of your family members or a friend to play with you.
- Play a relaxing game like Journey, Flower or #SelfCare. I heard that Endless Ocean was a good game for relaxation too but it's a bit old now. I also find clicker games like AbyssRium or Flutter relaxing.
- Put water on your face or hands.
- Do a body scan meditation.
- Watch ASMR videos.
- Accomplish a small task such as a household chore or creating or drawing something. I used to find making loom bands and blowing up balloons relaxing. It could be more useful to blow up the balloons with a pump.
- Sticking stickers into a book.
- Using a heat pack.
@WheresMySquishy I love Journey! It's such a beautiful game.
Your post reminded me that there's also a games section in these forums!
@Tiny_leaf I just remembered all those simulation games like Stardew Valley, Story of Seasons, Harvest Moon, My Time at Portia, Animal Crossing and Rune Factory. A lot of them are very relaxing, especially the ones that run on slower time like Animal Crossing and Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life and the ones that involve you talking a lot to the villagers such as Rune Factory. They could be good options to hold off self-harm urges too.
The games section in the forums is also helpful!
I PASSED LEVEL 29!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
