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Join an event. Happening today.

Everyone really is leaving me...

😞

 

Yeah.. what the title says

 

My other thread was getting too long so I made a new one, don't mind me

Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 29-07-2020 04:19 PM

Comments (56 pages)

 
 
 
 
 
Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 05-05-2021 12:44 PM

Hey @Hannah-RO they did say it could happen and to stop taking the meds if needed 😞 I'm really behind on uni so that's what I'm doing today. I'm feeling a bit better today

 
 
 
 
 
Hannah-RO
Hannah-ROPosted 05-05-2021 10:38 AM

Hey @Lost_Space_Explorer5 

That is really crap to hear about your new medication making your pain worse Smiley Sad Did the doctor say anything about the possibility of this happening? I'm really sorry you're going through this, we are all here for you Heart

 

Have you got much on for your day? I hope you're feeling a bit better today Heart

 
 
 
 
 
Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 04-05-2021 05:53 PM
Hm I'm not sure @MaryRO, I usually have a tough time emotionally letting go of things


My pain is bad today because the new meds my new doctor gave me made things worse 😞
 
 
 
 
 
MaryRO
MaryROPosted 03-05-2021 09:42 PM

@Lost_Space_Explorer5it's great that you had a conversation with your friend and they were able to see things from your viewpoint. It seems like you two have come to an understanding and they will be more conscious in the future. Do you think you still need to process some emotions? I'm wondering, because of being quite triggered about this and for the situation cutting so deeply for you. If so, is there anything you can do to help you process any residual feelings and thoughts about what happened at the party?

 
 
 
 
 
Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 03-05-2021 07:18 PM
Thanks @Sophia-RO and yeah that sounds right. I don't know what strategies I used, just like common sense thinking it would have been reckless for me to do something? I don't know

Thanks @Janine-RO I'm doing okay. Yeah I talked to her about it and she said sorry and that she didn't mean it in that way but that she would be more careful.
 
 
 
 
 
Janine-RO
Janine-ROPosted 03-05-2021 11:07 AM

Hey @Lost_Space_Explorer5 , I just wanted to check in and see how you're doing today? 

 

That experience with your friend at the party on the weekend sounds really awful 😞 I can understand why your friend saying that would feel really.. hmm, hard to put it into words... but kind of invalidating and infantilizing, and like she was assuming that you weren't capable - I would have been really angry and upset in that situation too. Even if it comes from a good place, it feels like a bit of a micro-aggression. 

 

I can hear that you were in a an angry, frustrated, sad place on Saturday night - were you able to do anything nice for yourself yesterday? We're here if you want to chat- I hope that uni goes OK this week. 

 
 
 
 
 
Sophia-RO
Sophia-ROPosted 02-05-2021 09:31 AM

I am sorry to hear about what happened last night @Lost_Space_Explorer5. It sounds like there was a lot that happened and you were left feeling upset and mad. I think it is understandable that you were upset with your friend as they had said something that upset you. It sounds like it was helpful for you to talk with your mum about what happened with your friend. It seems like it was a way to get things off your chest, not so much a way to talk negatively about your friend. Do you think that sounds right?

Sorry to hear that you felt like you wanted to die last night. It is good to hear that you are safe. What strategies did you use to cope with these feelings? How are you feeling today?

 
 
 
 
 
Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 02-05-2021 12:15 AM
I went to a party today and I left early because my friend said something I took really badly. Also I felt so unwanted and so disgusted at myself. I feel paranoid to talk about stuff about my friend on here because she knows I go on a forum and I worry she'll see what I say. It's unlikely but still. Anyway, at the party, she said she could interpret for me when someone was explaining how 'reserved' I was as if I'm somehow incapable of talking because of my social anxiety. I felt so mad but didn't show it and just decided to leave a little while later.

**TW** I'm safe now. I wanted to die so much and thought about doing something when going home but didn't. I'm still so angry that I want to break things. I just hate how I look and my weight and that everyone treats me like I'm invisible and everything I think about is loaded with resentment. I told my friend that I didn't care about my other friend who was freaking out because I was beyond caring but I did care and was just really uncomfortable in the situation and wanted my friend to hate me.

I'm so behind on uni there's this abstract due tomorrow and quizzes and my essay and I just don't give a damn. Why do I get so angry and sad about the tiniest things. Why am I such a bitter person. I used to like my friend and never got mad at her like this but ever since I got really sick and went to hospital. She thinks I'm manipulative. I've been resenting her lately and when I got home I was talking about her really negatively to my mum. I never used to do that 😞 I feel like an awful, two faced person
 
 
 
 
 
MB95
MB95Posted 28-04-2021 09:03 AM

Ugh, I feel ya with the assignment writing. And think I know were you're going with that idiom. 

 

I think I need to be held accountable too atm.. I've got 8 major assignments due in the next 4wks and so far behind on content it's not funny. So happy to study with you if you like! I mean, my struggle atm is getting out of bed and finding motivation to actually care so I may not be a huge help but we can always try? 

 

I hope you're okay and managed to get some sleep 💙

 
 
 
 
 
Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 28-04-2021 02:53 AM

I would like that @MB95, I need to be kept accountabl

Thanks @Bre-RO I'm doing okay

Ugh why is this essay taking so long I feel like hey what's the rule with using idioms on here that kind of seem to break the guidelines but if you don't mean it that way. Like I was gonna say an idiom that means I keep trying and trying but all it does is hurt me and gets me nowhere

 
 
 
 
 
Bre-RO
Bre-ROPosted 27-04-2021 12:14 PM

Aw @Lost_Space_Explorer5 I've been catching up on your thread. I'm sorry to hear you've been having such scary thoughts. I'm glad that you gave yourself a cuddle, even though you were still feeling horrible, it's good to hear that you were there for yourself. 

 

Running it by disability services is worth a try, you never know what they might be able to support you with. 

 

How are you feeling this morning? Heart 

 
 
 
 
 
MB95
MB95Posted 26-04-2021 10:28 PM

Ugh, it's so tough when the panic kicks in! 

 

What do you think is making you feel so bad about yourself? Like do you feel like you're not capable or something? I'm just wondering what is making you feel so bad and how we might be able to help try and change that? But I also totally get it if you just want to sit with it and feel it!! Just try to be kind to yourself though because I actually think that taking time away from classes can be good. Idk, sometimes if we're struggling to keep up then actually attending classes can make it worse cause it's just adding to the overwhelm?

 

Is there a reason why you won't allow yourself to apply for special considerations? 

 

What are the two essays you're focusing on? I'm pretty behind and overwhelmed with uni too so if you ever wanna jump into those study sessions we created that time, I'm happy to join you! We can set each other goals and hold each other accountable and then schedule in break times to play games? Idk. See how you go, but the offer is there if you need a study buddy to get through 💙

 
 
 
 
 
Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 26-04-2021 10:13 PM
I've got automatic extensions for now but if I need more I would have to apply for special cons and I won't let it get to that point. I can't get an extension on some things though (quizzes and submitting an abstract) and I'm so behind on lectures. For now my focus is two essays. I've like not been going to classes because I can't keep up with the hw and I feel so bad about myself idk. It's more just panic and I can't focus on anything
 
 
 
 
 
MB95
MB95Posted 26-04-2021 09:56 PM

Do you feel like you could go and talk to them? I know it might seem like there's no point, but it could help? 

 

I'm sorry but I've got that blurry brain you were talking about atm and not really with it.. did you say you have organised the extensions you can get? Cause if not then I think maybe that might be a good place to start? Cause it sounds like you need some breathing time to be able to focus on one assessment at a time maybe? 

 
 
 
 
 
Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 26-04-2021 09:40 PM
I don't think so 😞 I mean I could ask disability services if they have any ideas but I doubt it @MB95
 
 
 
 
 
MB95
MB95Posted 26-04-2021 08:32 PM

It sounds like maybe everything has piled up and you don't quite know where to start with it all? Have you got a year coordinator or someone who you might be able to chat to and get some help from to make a plan forward? 

 
 
 
 
 
Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 26-04-2021 07:12 PM
Thanks @MB95 it's okay, it would have been worrying if you were around too! I honestly don't know what to do about uni 😞 Thanks for the sloth picture Heart

Thanks @Janine-RO I'm feeling a bit better and I replied to the email
 
 
 
 
 
MB95
MB95Posted 26-04-2021 04:28 PM

I know things are overwhelming and tough right now and I really hope you are okay. 💙

 

I hope this helps to brighten your day and brings a little light to some of those dark thoughts. 

 

I'm here if you want to talk or play games. 

 

You're a tough baby sloth, don't you forget that!! 🦥❤

 

images (3).jpeg

 

 
 
 
 
 
Janine-RO
Janine-ROPosted 26-04-2021 11:36 AM

Hey @Lost_Space_Explorer5 ,

 

It sounds like those thoughts were really intrusive and scary last night, 3am brains can sometimes be really shitty to us 😞 I hope you were able to get some rest and are feeling a bit better this morning. I can hear how hard you were working to calm down and self soothe, and it must have felt so frustrating and scary in that moment . 

 

I'll be sending you an email in a little while, so please keep an eye out for that. Thinking of you and hoping things are feeling calmer for you this morning 

 

 
 
 
 
 
MB95
MB95Posted 26-04-2021 09:34 AM

I'm sorry I wasn't around when you posted this to chat @Lost_Space_Explorer5 💙 

 

How are you feeling this morning? 

 

I'm really sorry your thoughts are bad and not making any sense, I'm hearing ya! But can I just say one thing? YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON!!!! The complete opposite actually. Honestly, I hate that this thought would even pop into your head because you're such a beautiful person with the kindest most caring heart @Lost_Space_Explorer5 💙 

 

The blurry feeling can be so hard to deal with, let alone with uni stresses thrown in on top! It makes it virtually impossible to get anything done. I think it's great you took a break to watch some TV and do something for yourself and gave yourself a hug cause sometimes trying to push on with uni when things are so blurry and not making sense just feeds those thoughts because no progress is being made.. idk, are you kinda relating? 

 

I wish I had some advice for calming down and getting rid of that weight in your chest but it's something I don't seem to be able to do myself atm so I'd just sound like a hypocrite. Plus me old noggin is a bit on the blurry side too and it's like you lose all ability to think of coping strategies hey? 

 

Do you know what's making you so terrified? Like is it the thoughts? Or is it something else? 

 

I hope you were able to get some sleep last night and that you're feeling a little better when you wake up today. I wish I could give you a big mumma sloth hug! 

 

Just take uni slowly today if you do any. Or maybe take a day off? I know it's so much easier said than done when you have so much to be doing and I'm sorry I don't have any better advice. Have you thought much more about applying the extensions with your assessments? Honestly, if they are there and you're able to do it then I say go for it! Don't feel guilty about it. If they are going to help, then take them and run because it's important you're not burning yourself out trying to get things done 💙

 

Okay I'm sorry, I feel like I'm rambling on now so I do apologise! I just really hope you're okay because you're such an incredible and kind person and I hate to think you're in any kind of pain!! I will check in again soon (I'm about to try make up for my day off uni yesterday 🤦‍♀️) to see how you're going. 

 
 
 
 
 
Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 26-04-2021 03:08 AM
***TW*** I'm safe

I think I'm going crazy. My ocd thoughts are so bad that I think I have to die because I'm that bad of a person. I can't explain it on here, but believe me it's bad. Everything is really blurry and uni is stressing me out on top of that. There's this huge weight on my chest and I don't know how to calm myself down. I've tried watching tv and hugging myself but I'm terrified. I think I'm having a breakdown. None of my thoughts make sense. Maybe I'm just tired or something
 
 
 
 
 
Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 26-04-2021 12:17 AM
Ugh uni is still a shitstorm 😞 I gave up on getting my essay in tomorrow and am taking a break from uni now to watch tv 😛 It's okay I like playing games and it's nice to be on the forums again I haven't been around as much as I would like lately 😞
 
 
 
 
 
MB95
MB95Posted 25-04-2021 10:53 PM

😍😍😍

 

How are you going with your uni stuff? We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, I just thought I better check in! Totally all for games and distractions tonight though if you're needing the same ❤ 

 

Also, thank you for playing with me lol I know you're busy and stressed so don't feel like you have to keep playing! Focus on your uni. You can do it!!! 💪

 
 
 
 
 
Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 25-04-2021 10:07 PM

🦥🦥🦥🦥🦥🦥🦥🦥🦥

so cute Heart

 
 
 
 
 
Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 25-04-2021 10:05 PM
Smiley LOL @MB95 🦥 yes there is

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