I need a friend, because none of mine will listen.
I was just hoping that maybe someone would talk to me for a bit ... or at all. I have just self-harmed, and I want to be able to stop it, but I can't talk to anyone who is around me at the moment because I don't want to upset them. Even just typing this post, I feel like it will just be a nuisance to everyone else, or that I will upset someone. I have attempted suicide before, and I am honestly scared that I will try again soon, if I can't find someone to talk to. I have tried going to places like Head Space and have contemplated calling helpline, but I can never quite convince myself to look for help with a professional. It's just too overwhelming. I just need a friend that will talk to me normally and in a casual way about how I'm feeling. I'm not really sure if this is the type of thing this site is for, but if anyone is willing to just talk, that would be great.
Make sure you tske time out to relax and also do some fun stuff too 🙂
Im glad your finding it beneficial to be here
Good to hear from you
Hey guys! Not much happened today, although one of the kids at my school decided to kick me, which was weird. '~'
Anyway, I had my first session with my new psychologist and she seems like a really nice person. My mum was there with me, but it still felt like a really open chat. I'm hoping I'll get along really well with this one, as I haven't really clicked with the psychologists/councilors in past attempts at counselling.
I've also made plans to talk with my mum about my gender identity/sexuality, because I've wanted to talk to her about it for a while now, but haven't really known how. 🙂
I think that's all. I'm quit tired, but I am feeling pretty good today. X)
that sounds really good @Zero Melody
im glad you feel comfortable tlaking to your psych even with your mum being there as well but thats still really good.
its also really great that your communicating with your mum esp about gender identity as that can be confusing adn a tricky thing so very well done thats super awesome!
pity about that other kid though- thats a bit weird but maybe jsut dont over think it
hugs to you- really proud of you!
Hello! Today was mostly quiet again. After school I was really tired, but I didn't want to go to sleep for fear of mucking up my sleep pattern (that I'm juuuust about getting under control again) and doing more school work didn't seem like it would keep me very awake. So, completely spontaneously, mum and I went to the beach! Not to swim, but just to take a walk. 🙂 It was fun, and I saved three jellyfish that had been washed up on the sand by putting them back in the water (which I'm sure the surfers and swimmers there will thank me for X3).
I have also implemented a new strategy that I am hopeful will help me stop self harming.
I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say what it is though, as it is often associated with one particular type of self harm, and I'm not sure if that would count as stating method ... ? I don't want to upset anyone.
I don't exactly know how, but I seem to have managed to condense about five and a half hours into about twenty consciously registered minutes. Bye bye, afternoon! I bid you farewell! *watches afternoon disappear over the horizon* Eh, I mean, I didn't need time to get stuff done anyway, right? ... Right?
Dammit.
And on that note, I think I will go to bed now. Goodnight! 🙂
sounds like you getting a pretty good ahndle on things @Zero Melody
i often take walks ont he beach too and yes im sure the surfers will be most thankful 😉
i hope you got some good sleep in too
Hi guys! Sorry for not dropping in yesterday (Friday), I was so tired that I accidentally fell asleep before I could even get changed into pajamas! X)
Today was a good day, I think. I woke up in the morning in time to go to my volunteer commitment that I've been too tired to go to recently. I volunteer as a tutor at the Sudanese Australian Integrated Learning program, and help to look after the really little kids, that aren't old enough to start school.
After that, we went to the shop to get party food for my sister's birthday party. While we were there, my mum went to sort out an optometrist appointment, and we found out that my new glasses had arrived early. It was really exciting for me, because it's my first ever pair of glasses and I've always really wanted them. Everyone thinks I'm weird for wanting them because they think that glasses are a nuisance.
I haven't told any of my friends that I'm getting glasses, so I'm going to surprise them and just turn up to school on Monday with glasses and be like, "What? I've had glasses all along. Didn't you notice?" >X)
Well that's all. Imma go to bed now, 'cause I'm really tired. Good night. 🙂
@Zero Melody I admit that I laughed a bit at your post 😛 I got glasses a few years ago, and at the time I was on summer holidays in between year 11 and 12. I showed up on the first day of school and all of my friends were like WHAAT 😮
Your volunteering role sounds awesome too! Little kids are the best 
Hey guys. Today was a bit rough. I got an S+E essay back and wasn't so happy. It really sucks, though, because I was really confident and thought I would get at least a decent mark, but when I got it back, I had gotten 64%. My teacher is the type to joke around, and said before she handed them out that some of us would be crying. Not so much of a joke for me. I was trying really hard not to just burst into to tears. The thing is, I don't even like the subject, nor do I need it for the career path I want to follow, so it shouldn't matter, but I was still upset.
Last night I spent an hour and a half arranging a piece of music for a group performance. That was fun.
It's always a bad sign when even your elbows can't do their job properly. I've always been hyper-mobile in basically all of my joints, and so I started having problems with them just getting really sore and I get repetitive stain injury in at least both my wrists. First my back went, then my knees, then my wrists, then my jaw, and now my elbows are playing up. Great. I am truly doomed now.
None of these thoughts really connect or flow into each other. Sorry. 😛 Goodnight!
64% is an awesome mark @Zero Melody
haha lol its great to see you sense of humour too!
what have you been up to recenlty?
do you ahve any weekend plans?
I had a concert yesterday. That was ... fun? Ah, who am I kidding. It was hell. The concert was split into two parts, junior and senior, each about 3 hours long with about 2 hours in between them. I was in both halves. I had to stay in a crowded and noisy room for 8 hours straight, excluding about 45 minutes combined of performing and going out to get pizza that was provided for any students that were in both concerts. Needless to say there might have been a mental breakdown or two over the course of the night. 😐
sorry the concert was crap @Zero Melody sounds like it wasnt really thought out that well
whats your plans for the upcoming week? anything nice or exciting
im loving your attitude towards your nw glasses and it really sounds like you like them @Zero Melody i ahve glasses too and it took me abit to warm up to them but i do quite like them now.
sounds like youve been busy hey but your doing soem great things fro the community 🙂
Hey @Zero Melody
It sounds like you had a good day! and don't worry. I was the same as you. I really wanted glasses and I was so excited to get them 
The next day I went to school and surprised everyone!
I am so happy to here that you are feeling a bit better. And like you said, it won't get better over night but it sounds like you are on the right path. It is very good that your mum is so supportive, you are very lucky!
Hey @Zero Melody, it was so inspiring reading how you took the step to take care of yourself and I'm so happy that it is working out well for you! It's also awesome that you're trying to get your sleep back on track, I know that when I lose sleep it's really easy to feel all frazzled so it's great that you're trying to get it back on schedule.
Your method sounds like an amazing way to take care of yourself. I'm not sure either if you're allowed to post it because of the guidelines, but either way I think it's absolutely excellent! I think you're doing an amazing job 🙂
How are you going today?
Hey @Zero Melody! You've been demonstrating some AMAZING strength lately by taking care of yourself and asking for support while things are so rough. I am super impressed by your courage.
That said, I can hear that things have been really rough and you've been in a lot of pain lately. Hugs Keep pushing through, like you said, stay busy. I really hope your new psychologist is a huge help.
I also just just wanted to mention that you said you were thinking about talking to your mum about gender/sexuality stuff? I recently had to have that conversation with my mum and it was tough but it's a relief to have it out in the open. If you wanted to start a thread, or chat about those conversations on this one, I'm here and can certainly empathise!
I hope you get some sleep tonight 🙂
I agree with @myspaceK. Self care is very important. It's good to put ourselves first at times. I enjoy reading and having a bit of a dance! What about you?
Hey guys. Once again, thank you so much for your comments. X) I'm doing alright today. Still feeling a bit down, but I understand that this won't go away overnight. I got myself back to school today and didn't have any problems with my friends or teachers, which was good. 🙂 Unfortunately, I've missed so much school due to my general health that I can't afford to take much time off, but it was really nice to have yesterday.
At the moment I've been working on some chemistry homework to keep my mind busy. I like science, especially Bio and Chem, and I'm good at it, so it's been a good way to focus on something, but still feel like I'm being productive and not wasting my time.
I really enjoy Japanese, so I'm planning to put a bit of time into translating a song I like as practice. Even if it's not the best thing I could be doing, I don't want to stay on my school work for too long, and start feeling stressed out about it. After that I might do some reading for English, or work on my child care homework. Sounds like a plan, right? I think it will be important for me to keep busy (but not too busy) over the next little while and have a basic plan of how to spend my time. I'm also going to make a really strong effort to keep posting and telling you guys what's going on. Even if no one's around at the time, reading your comments later is really fun and makes me happy. 🙂 And I think just writing out how I feel and what's been going on will help, as well. Thank you for being here for me, even if I don't know any of you in real life. ❤️
Thank you so much everybody for the comments that you've left! They are very inspiring and it makes me feel so much better to know that there are people here I can talk to.
You'll be happy to hear that when my mum came in to wake me up for school today, I gathered up the courage to tell her what I'd done. She was very supportive and we went to the doctor to get the self harm looked at. I took the day off school, and am feeling much better at the moment. : )
Sorry for not being able to reply straight away when you were worried about me, after we got home again, I basically went straight to bed and slept. >u<
Hey @Zero Melody that is so good to hear, well done! Sounds like your Mum was a good support then?
Just had to do a quick edit of your post, we need to try and avoid method of self harm on the forums just being mindful of other members on the site 🙂 Guidelines are here.
Did you get a good night's sleep?
Ah! I'm sorry. I hope I didn't upset anyone, and I'll be mindful not to state method again. I'm really sorry. : (
My mum has been a great support. She has always been one of my closest friends, and it's really nice to know that she's here for me still. : )
Unfortunately, I didn't sleep very well last night. It was about 4 o'clock in the morning that I ended up getting to bed, so I'm really grateful for the day off. I was hoping to get some work done on schoolwork that's been stressing me out, but I think I needed the sleep more X)
Well done @Zero Melody. It takes guts to do what you just did and rest sounds like what you need right now. It seems like a great time for you to start taking some time out for yourself and practicing some self-care too. What do you like to do? It's okay to take some time away from school to first look after yourself. I enjoy reading books, listening to music, playing sport and having a nice long shower.
🙂
Hi @Zero Melody,
I just want you to know that you're not alone and I'm really glad you reached out here. It's hard to find someone you can trust to talk to about this stuff. And it is totally understandable that you are hesitant about contacting a professional. I was once in a similar position. However, I found that if I held it in and tried to manage it all on my own, I didn't do so well. I too have attempted suicide and thought about it alot and gone to hospital. It can be scary and I felt so embarrassed and alone, even with people helping me. But talking about it is the first step. And it sounds like you're really working hard to get some support, so well done! 🙂
I'm not here to tell you that I can fix whatever problem you are dealing with, but I'll be here to listen and support you the best that I can. And if that means that we just chat about any old thing, like you're favourite movie or what you are doing today, then I'll be around.
Take care xD
