Turning Negatives Into Positives
At the suggestion of Lightuptheworld, I thought I'd start another 'Turning Negatives into Positives' thread like there is on the old forum. Below is a quote from Antria who started the thread on the previous forum which I think explains the idea of the thread quite well.
"Sometimes it can be helpful to turn our thinking around and begin to challenge the way we look at things. Turning negatives into positives is a way of doing this! Basically, think of something that happened today, this week, this month or at some other time that felt negative and see if you can find a positive in it (or that came out of it)."
I find posting in this thread really helps me to look at things in a different way or see positives that I might not have noticed if I'm in a negative headspace. I'll start the ball rolling:
Negative: My friend didn't turn up to class this morning and I was worried I would be alone because I don't really know anyone else in the class.
Positive: It gave me a chance to sit with new people and get to know them better 🙂
Over to you!
@Sans-RO yeah I got to sleep after awhile. I'm doing a bit better this morning but still feeling pretty out of it. I expect things will probably go south throughout the day.
@Bay52VU even though it's a tiny bit better, it's still something. Hang in there, you're doing an excellent job for yourself AND checking up on the others this morning, you should be proud of yourself.
Have you planned something for today? it would be nice to have something to look forward to, maybe a movie?
Positive: the mental health team are meant to give me a call shortly. It could help talking to them.
Negative: in scared to be honest about how I'm feeling.
Positive: they can't help me if they don't know.
Negative: I don't know how I'm going to get by until they call
Positive: just take it a moment at a time redhead
Pos: I am SAFE! I remained safe. I was able to calm down and head to bed
Neg: Slept in and still felt tired when I woke, overslept.
Pos: I got some sleep! Longest sleep in a while
Neg: Went to go to the cupboard this arvo and cut my foot open. Luckily with mum's first-aid knowledge we saved a several hour wait at the hospital!
Pos: Didn't have to go to hospital. It's fine now. But I'm keeping my sandals on! haha
Neg: Got home from grabbing a couple bits from the supermarket, to have our neighbour approach us from across the road.... she saw a ginger cat dead on the side of the road this morning and he was put into the bin. Turned out yep it's my kitty! 😞
Pos: At least she told us!
Neg: Lost my second cat. Lost my furbaby. How am I even going to cope with it all? Worst news at the worst timing for me. Everything else is so topsy turvy, but wait there's more, here let's take your cat away from you too. Seems like there's so much negative in my life, I don't even know how to conquer it anymore! 😞
Pos: He'll hopefully be with his brother now in kitty-heaven!
I'm so sorry to hear about you cat @Bee - losing a pet is really traumatic. If you need a little extra support in getting through the grief, don't forget about KHL and Lifeline.
@ElleBelle @redhead @blithe thanks, it means a lot. I'm actually still a little shocked. *sigh* ohwell. I know they're there ElleBelle, thanks for reminding me though 🙂
Neg: Didn't go so well with the campus counsellor today. I just didn't want to talk to him today. I was thinking of saying I just couldn't do it and walking out, but I felt it'd be too rude. So I sat there feeling horrendously terrible while again he babbled on *sigh*
Pos: I don't have to go back to him. I gave it a try. He's probably not the right fit for me.
Neg: Felt horrible all day again. I really didn't feel like facing TAFE or my class today. I just didn't want to do it.
Pos: I did it. I went and had ONE good interaction with a child. It wasn't my focus child but it was something!
Neg: Feeling bad that I didn't do an ob today, or last week.
Pos: I'm going at my pace, and not pushing myself too hard this term.
Neg: I'm scared if I push myself to meet expectations I'm only going to end up in a very unstable place.
Pos: I've recognised I need to set limits for myself. And I'm sticking to them. I think I need to sit down with my teacher again and just explain things to her. I don't want to be the person not completing everything but I need to set myself limits to keep myself as healthy as I can.
Neg: I'm actually scared of talking to her about it.
Pos: I was scared last time but I did it. I can always write an email to explain it all.
Neg: Sent an email reply to eheadspace without realising I sent it? o.O How does one even do that?
Pos: It's sent. It's raw.
Neg: Eheadspace weren't able to make direct contact with my preferred psych, each time they rang each other neither was in the office! Argh. it's frustrating. I was looking forward to working with her! :@ 😞
Pos: Maybe the doubts I did have about working with her have been the reason I (or eheadspace) haven't been able to get through...?
Neg: I kinda feel bad because how long this whole process of getting to see someone face to face is taking. Am I asking too much of them?
Pos: They are there to support me and help me through this. They want to see getting the support I need. (I just wish I could accept it!)
Neg: My foot kinda aches. I can't really walk on it much for very long without it being sore and having to put my foot up.
Pos: Going to ring to see if I can see the nurse at my local clinic tomorrow
Neg: Feeling just entirely crappy. Part of me doesn't want to face it all anymore. I'm over the setbacks, I'm over the struggle. I'm so exhausted, so unhappy that I just can't see it working out. I'm stuck in the current moment and can't see past it. I'm sick of being strong. I'm sick of fighting. Part of me just wants to give in. But then I don't want to lose my independence.
Everything in my life just seems to be falling apart. If not falling apart, breaking, or making it so hard to achieve anything. And I know I need the support, but I have no one to turn to in my life. I can't even make a fucking call to an unfamilar place to arrange an appointment with a psych. How fucking hopeless!?
Pos: ? I'm trying my best. I'm focusing on one day at a time and not trying to predict or organse anything for the future. I'm just trying to cope in each hour of each day.
Neg: Bought my new laptop today, only to have it not connect to the wifi due to dad's stupid settings. Then all he did was judge me on the one I bought and put it down. I'm sick of nothing ever being good enough for others. Why can't my stuff just be good enough for others? Why do people always have to tear down things I buy!? I'm so over it. I'm fucking sick of it.
Pos: If I can just get it to connect to the wifi I'll be happy. Hopefully a pc wipe will enable me to add it to the network with the correct settings this time! Please God let it work!
Neg: Got an email from eheadspace, and while it's helpful to actually feel like someone cares, I haven't felt like she really understands how crappy I am feeling right now, mainly due to my lack of ability to accurately describe how shit I feel inside.
Pos: I know she understands. And I know she's doing her best to support me with what contact we've got now. They went beyond their duty to even try and book that initial appointment with my prefered psych...!
Neg: My preferrd psych is taking holidays and eheadspace suggested I look into the other people on the list. I'm partially ok with that, but partially really pissed off, because I spent so much time and energy (that I didn't have!) into trying to contact her! And it kinda just feels like a knife to the chest...
Pos: It's not to say I can't transfer to her later if I'm not connecting with one of the other people in town! It doesn't rule her out entirely!
Neg: Had plans of getting my portfolios for TAFE done and taken back into TAFE this week. However it's not looking like that's going to happen! I spent so long today doing evreything else, that I'm so tired now. I don't even think I'd be able to design somehting I like without totally destroying the books! 😮
Pos: I'm pacing myself. It's ok if I take the 2 weeks holiday from TAFE to get it done. I'm not going to stress myself out too much. I can't afford to with my health right now.
Neg: Yesterday I got upset because the receptionist at the optomitrist wouldn't listen to me when I rang after changing my lenses, nor would she let me talk without interrupting me and talking over me. It made me feel really down and like I'm not listened to. It was also catalyst to tip me over the edge that day and put everything into a negative thought cycle. I was nearly tempted to ring in sick for work because I was so wound up!
Pos: I took some time for myself and got through it. I kept reminding myself that eveyrone makes mistakes, that it will sort itself out in the future. I allowed myself time to cry and tried to see it as a learning curve. Next time I will be sure to take the lenses no matter what! I ended up going to work and while I got a surprise to find out I was on shelf-fill instead of registeres, I was pleasently surprised. The time alone packinghte shelves was good reflection for me, and helped me see that I am useful - I could see how much I had done, and how much I had to go and it was giving me a good boost of self-confidence
Neg: Felt exptremely frustrated within myself because my eyes hadn't adjusted to the new lenses (and still haven't properly) I kept putting myself down and saying how f*cked my eyes are, and how I wish I never had to wear glasses. I entered a blame game of why I had to wear glasses. With the furstration, came a lot of feeling overwhelemed and other difficult emotions. I kinda just wanted to curl up in a ball and say how much I hated life and the world.
Pos: I worked through it. While it is frustrating that I have to wear glasses sometimes, overall I enjoy them, it's a quirk of mine 🙂 And while I may have a good idea as to why I need to wear glasses, I don't know entirely if that's the reason, so it's unfair to myself and those around me to throw blame like that. I know that.
Neg: I just managed to switch to the camera app in my new laptop, and felt realy annoyed because I didn'tknow how I did it, and really frustrated that I managed to do that when I didn't want to.
Pos: I had a laugh, and figured it out upon looking at my keyboard. It's taking me a while to get used to W8.1 but it's hilarious watching myself go around in circles trying to achieve something! 🙂 lol
Neg: Didn't get home until near midnight last night, and got barely any sleep, was up again early today, and worked all afternoon. I then have lots of hours at work saturday onwards. I'm so tired, and unsure of how I'm going to cope with it all. because I know a tired me means my moods go down (or crazy all over the place) and I become one snappy person - which I really do not like!
Pos: I am going to take it one day at a time. I can always go home sick on my long days if I'm just too tired. I can enforce those limits I've been giving myself at work too.
Neg: Geting sick of how nothing I do is ever good enough for those around me, people always have something to criticise me about 😞
Pos: ???
Neg: Working nearly everyday this coming week, I'm going to be so tired. I'm struggling to find motivation to even do the slightest things or myself. Maybe I need to take a few days off to recover? I just wish I wasn't so stuck all the goddamned time 😞
Pos: I'm doing my best. I can take a few days off
Neg: Really struggling to contact any of the psychologists or counselling services locally.
Pos: I've sent one mail over the easter weekend, I wil get there eventualy.
Neg: Feeling sick. Feeling over life, tired and sore 😞
Pos: I'm going to go have a hot shower and try & relax a little!
@Bee wrote:
Neg: Geting sick of how nothing I do is ever good enough for those around me, people always have something to criticise me about 😞
Pos: ???
Alright @Bee, let's think of a positive for this. You are trying your best and that's all you ever need to do. You are practising your coping skills when it comes to criticism. How about those?
I go through periods where I cope quite well with criticism and such, and it just rolls off my shoulder, then other times it takes me down like I'm a bowling pin and it's the boulder...
I guess the positive is that I know sometimes I cope really well and other times I don't.
Also I can't change what others think, nor can I be responsible for the way they behave, or treat others, but I can (to a degree) choose how I react to it. (in theory)
What do you think the difference is between the times you cope well and those when you don't @Bee?
@ElleBelle I honestly wouldn't know. It's woth trying to figure out though...
Neg: Feeling really crap again tonight. My lowered mood and tolerence level influenced my behaviour, resulting in more fights. I blew up. I screamed I yelled. I was so very close ot grab my keys half a dozen other items and leave home. I was ready to run. I had thoughts of self-harm circling my mind also. Now I'm sitting here feeling even worse 😞
Pos: I didn't leave. I have remained safe thus far tonight.
Neg: SO many fights, so much crap at home. I'm seriously considering moving out. I just don't think I can handle all the bullcrap anymore. Maybe it's time I get my own place???
Pos: I can start researching things having a look at what I'd need, and how much it's all likely to cost.
Neg: Still haven't managd to make contact with a counsellor/psychologist locally. Feeling kinda bumbed out about it. Feeling so unsure and unmotivated about it all.
Pos: I'm trying. I have sent one email enqiring about the services a private psychologist offers, am yet to hear anything back.
Neg: Feeling really fragile and unstable. Everything just feels like it could all fall apart in so many different ways, without me realising until it's too late. I feel at the end of my teather. Like there's just nothing left for me aymore. Tear roll down my eyes, and I just feel nothing. Yet my body shakes.
Pos: I'm noticing this. I can use some of this to push me further afield?
Neg: Spoilt myself on a couple new cardigans today, but feelng very guilty about it. Feeling guilty about how much I spent on my laptop last month too! Not even sure why I feel so bad about these choices, about these things which are things I need/have worked hard for. Why can't I feel good & stand by a decision to spoil myself? Why do I hate myself so much?
Pos: I'm allowed to spoil myself when I want to. I'm allowed to do this with the funds I've saved.
Neg: The urges of self-harm are lingering tonight. I don't feel okay enough to ring anyone. But I don't know how strong they are/will get. Lost.
Pos: I will do my best. I can only do my best.
How are you feeling,@Bee ? I would encourage you to ring someone if you need support tonight. You don't have to do this alone.
blithe
@blithe I don't really know how I'm feeling. I didn't end up ringing anyone last night, I just didn't feel like anyone would even want to listen... "whats the point?" I just kept thinking...
Neg: My front teeth are really sensitive right now. They collided with a glass last night/night before, and they're rather sore. I know I need to fins a dentist locally now that my otherone moved away and I'm not longer covered by the public system. (not tha I even want to go back to them!) I'm just so scared to even try a new dentist, the fear and anxiety is pracically unbearable. I can't even look at local websites without having a reaction. 😞 I'm over it. It's like I can't fix this properly until I get my mental health sorted/stabilised. I'm too fragile to even try with a new dentist. I mean even this I'm crying, shaking. Not able to even concentrate. Work is even hard. TAFE is compeltely unenjoyable now.
Pos: I've taken pain relief for the pain. Will monitor how they go. I'm working on contacting a psychologist/counsellor locally.
Neg: The red I put through my hair has faded and now looks shit. I can see it about 3cm from my foots for about 5cm before it's gone again. Mum says it's throughout all my hair, but I can't see it. I thnk it just looks shit. It's annoying me that it didn't turn out like I wanted, and that only some of it has washed out. It feels dodgy.
Pos: I am going to look at other hair dyes soonish and re-do it. I'll probably do that next week when I have some time off. I can always go to the hairdresser...
Neg: I keep getting a cramp in my neck. It's really starting to piss me off. My hands also continue to cramp. I'm over it.
Pos: The cramps don't last too long thankfully.
Neg: Feeling really fragile again tonight. Why does my mind have to be so shit all the time? I remembered earlier today a comment from one of my supervisors on Sunday/Monday. I was telling her how I nearly hit my mailbox and bin backing out of my drive way. I commented that it just wasn't my day. She made a comment about hearing that a lot from me. Giving me my pencil case and the key. *sigh* seems that people are always ready to judge but never actually help.
Pos: She doesn't know that I suffer with mental illness (no one at work does, nor anyone in my life) she wasn't to know it'd hurt me, it's probably just her way of geting the message across. It wasn't done maliciously!
Neg: Wanting to just curl up in a ball and cry the rest of the night away. No real desire to do anything. I also have work tomorrow and cannot fathom how I'm going to mentally find myself ready for it. I'm not even feeling okay to serve tea.. It smells like it's nearly cooked.
Pos: I will take it one step at a time. I will go check tea, I will try to enjoy it. I will have a hot shower ater tea to try and relax a little. I might just grab a book and read until I feel tired tonight or watch a movie of some sort...
Pos - I just need to be patient with myself and I know that it is something that isn't going to fix itself over night.
Pos: I don't even know
@j95 a positive is that you have a name for what's happening and can recognise that it's something you want to change. It's not a pleasant place to be in, but say like 3 years ago, would you have even known what's going on? Would you have known that you could change it or that life could be different?
Not sure if you see it this way, but i reckon the awareness you have now, is a huge positive and a big step in the right direction.
It's seems like a great step forward to be aware of the anxiety @j95.
Sooooo close to the weekend, maybe that can be a sort of positive? 
- Homophobic idiots on the bus.
+ I'm okay.
- English test this morning.
+ I'm pretty confident that I did well. Plus we're done with assessment for the semester now, which is awesome.
- Performance anxiety for my music audition today.
+ I did good! There was nothing to be nervous about. (BTW @j95 I performed a Ziggy Alberts song - thanks for the recommendation 🙂 )
