- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Mark Topic as New
- Mark Topic as Read
- Float this Topic for Current User
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Mute
- Printer Friendly Page
Turning Negatives Into Positives
At the suggestion of Lightuptheworld, I thought I'd start another 'Turning Negatives into Positives' thread like there is on the old forum. Below is a quote from Antria who started the thread on the previous forum which I think explains the idea of the thread quite well.
"Sometimes it can be helpful to turn our thinking around and begin to challenge the way we look at things. Turning negatives into positives is a way of doing this! Basically, think of something that happened today, this week, this month or at some other time that felt negative and see if you can find a positive in it (or that came out of it)."
I find posting in this thread really helps me to look at things in a different way or see positives that I might not have noticed if I'm in a negative headspace. I'll start the ball rolling:
Negative: My friend didn't turn up to class this morning and I was worried I would be alone because I don't really know anyone else in the class.
Positive: It gave me a chance to sit with new people and get to know them better 🙂
Over to you!
-'ve: Missed 3 buses and one was a no-show whilst trying to get to my appt yesterday.
+'ve: Arrived at the clinic 2 mins late, but the pro was running even later.
-'ve: Started to feel like I'm annoying my new housemate and that she doesn't like me.
+'ve: Just casually put a "I'm probably annoying you" into our conversation, to which she replied "No, not at all." But before the conversation, I just kept on telling myself that it was my depression talking.
Positive: Sniffing the scent of peppermint tea improved my mood, and woke me up a little.
Positive: I've gotten one part done today! & I've read through another policy. I'm working through it!
Negative: I feel like these assessments are just sitting here laughing at me. I feel defeated by the amount of work in them...
Positive: They are inanimate objects they cannot laugh at me! I have 3 weeks to do them, & I have 2 amazing classmates who I can ask for help at the same centre.
Negative: I still have these negative thoughts circling around my head from the other day. I'm not quite sure how to deal with them..
Positive: I've said my peace. I think I just need to forget about it and try and move on.
Negative - A woman at work has been a horrible supervisor and I have felt like she has treated me like a stupid 2 year old kid and it has been bothering me for so long because I took it personally and thought it was because of me
Positive - I found out today that I am not the only one and other people are experiencing this as well which was a relief to me because finally I feel like I am not alone. 🙂
Negative: Felt like I've been on a bad rollercoaster these past few weeks
Positive: I've survived.
Negative: I feel like whatever I do isn't good enough. Nothing seems to be right in my eyes anymore.
Positive: I'm doing my best.
Negative: I got my report today and while I got a couple good results and good improvements, because of my low English mark - which dropped, I feel bad, and think that nothing is good enough 😕
Positive: I struggled with the text, I struggled to find related texts. I did my best at the time under the circumstances. My teacher says my writting is improving.
Negative: When I see bad results, I start to question the idea of trying to improve. I just think that I'll never get a good mark and there is no use to try.
Positive: I know that's negative self-talk. I can improve. I've just got to get the understanding down and actually work!
Negative: I felt ignored by mum this afternoon when I was going through the good things that happened. THen I hear that she was ignoring me 😞 made me feel so very loved...
Positive: That can't stop me from ignoring the positive. I can still laugh at my mentor forgetting her duty, I can still laugh at the bent seat and the feeling of getting the principals award! Woo! 🙂
Negative: I didn't want to go to the althetics carnival, but I got convinced to partake in events for my team...
Positive: It's my last one, I should go. I only put down field events, so it's not like I had to run or anything. I agreed because of the people around me, I think I'm doing it more for them, but also for myself - at least now I wont hide at home the whole day! +1 for me 🙂
Negative: It's my last day here and all I can think about is my stupid runny nose!
Positive: It's probably just hayfever. I'll live.
Negative: I'm starving!
Positive: I can go out and get something to eat
Negative: That thought's provoking a lot of anxiety
Positive: It's just irrational thinking. What's the worst that can happen?
Negative: All these little things are causing so much anxiety when I know that they don't even matter.
Positive: At least I'm realizing that it's not realistic thinking. I'll be home tomorrow, and then this worry will *disappear* because I'm not here anymore
Negative: But then I'll just have more stuff to worry about - all the crap that's going on at home.
Positive: I'll deal with it when it happens. At least I'll be in a better frame of mind about it, having been away from the situation for a week.
Negative: Only just realised that today is Monday and GR was on tonight. Argh.
Positive: I'll read over it when I have time and energy
Negative: Just inherited a cluster of negative thoughts and emotions over a fe things - ugh too tired to deal with this now
Positive: I'll be going to bed soon - just waiting until I can take my anit-biotic
Negative: Now that I've commited to going to the athletics carnival and everyone - my year - is talking about their costumes, I feel obliged to follow through with a costume - but the only thing is that I don't have the money, energy or time to commit to an idea and make it to cut costs.
Positive: I have everything but wings to go as a fairy - might just be the best choice for me yet. Show everyone up by going as a fairy when I've been told it's too cliche, I'll prove them wrong... I could go as Alice (in wonderland) - in the remake her dress is blue! 🙂
Negative: I've just added yet another idea to my list of possible characters to go as...
Positive: They can't say I didn't try to think of something inventive... Have you heard of the fairy with Dory eyeshadow before?
Negative: When I was driving tonight, I almost ran over a pedestrian, I came so close to hitting her! I freaked out and appoligised before she walked behind the car - oops. I feel bad for not seeing her - or even looking properly. Note to self, try not to agree to lerner drives when your mind is cloustered and you're so exhausted!
Positive: I did my best. I didn't hit her! I apoligised to her. And through many of my mistakes tonight, I made it home safely to find a frog on the roof of the car - yes a frog! 🙂 The evironment must be doing really well here! Yay.
Negative: Realising that I promised my English teacher I'd work on the essay plan tonight and have it finished for tomorrow's lesson to start writting the essay, and I haven't worked on it tonight. I haven't even finished it, despite spending so long on it over the weekend.
Positive: I've got 3 - what I say - are solid points. I've been too busy and run down to do any work tonight, she'll just have to accept that I couldn't get it done. I've done my best. I've got a study before English tomorrow, so I'll use that to work on it.
Negative: I'm starting to ruminate upon negative thoughts
Positive: Heading over to Everyday Life to hopefully bring me up a bit before bed. Lets hope tonight I can sleep 🙂
Neg: Could have got the test done 3 months ago! 😞
Pos: Won't have to worry about it in a week!
Neg: Hearing "It's normal" everywhere I turn. Oh yeah, if it's "normal", it wouldn't be a problem, would it? I wouldn't be seeing him, that's for sure! Make up your mind: either it's a problem, or it's not!
Pos: 6 days to go! I can do this!
Neg: Just because I'm "functioning" and doing stuff, the assumption is I'm OK- even though I tried once again, to open up. Didn't work.
Pos: I tried!
Neg: Stop treating it like bad behaviour! I couldn't help being in the middle of a raging panic attack!
Pos: I survived...
Neg: Same old stuff. I'm so sick of this! 😞
Pos: I'm getting better at catching it before it hits!
Neg: It's exhausting, but I'm told "no one said it was easy!"
Pos: I tried opening up
Neg: "You want validation". Ewww! If that's an attempt to "understand", it failed!
Pos: ???
Negative: I have the worst cold AND I have to work tomorrow
Positive: Sleeping in my own bed tonight!
Negative: Work. Ugh, 5 hours in a fast food place.
Positive: The nice people.
Negative: Have to clean my room, literally emptying everything out so it can be moved around.
Positive: Yay! New look in my room!
Negative: I have soooooooooooooooo much of this maths work to do.
Positive: I have this whole day to do as much as I can. I know what I have to do. I've done a day of maths before, I can do this.
Negative: Holidays are over 😞
Positive: I didn't waste them! Now I get to re-unite with people, strengthen my new friendships, show off what I've done!
Negative: I think one of my eviler teachers is going to give a test tomorrow.
Positive: I did well on the practise test. All I need is to pass. If this test is reminiscent of the practise test I will pass, and it reminded me of the things I need to work in.
I'm allowed to bring in material as well!
This was on a shirt of my cousin's,
Don't be a Negatron, be an Optimist Prime!
- I don't want to go to the shops or to finish my laundry or clean my dest/kitchen/anywhere or do painting or to do anything. The only thing that doesn't feel like an effort is just sitting here listening to asmr, or sleeping. I'm sick of everything being such a struggle against myself all the time and I don't know how to fix things so it's not so hard or so I'll just be stronger to accept the hardness and do stuff anyway. This has been going on for too long and it's ridiculous.
+ I've been managing to get the bare minimum done, and I can do the same today. 1/3 of the laundry is done, minimum is to do another 1/3rd and that'll be enough. In the immediate future I don't need any of the dishes that haven't been washed so they can stay dirty. Next time I get up from my desk and go to the kitchen I can bring back a paper towel to wipe the crumbs off the desk. The bin isn't full yet so it doesn't need to be taken outside. No one's going to suffer if I don't do any painting. That only leaves groceries which are still a problem. And the rest of my life but whatever.
I seem to feel like this every day. I'm just fed up with every little thing and every single day being like this.
Nope I haven't gone to get groceries.
Bloody hell I suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck. Why am I like this? Why can't I just BE FUCKING NORMAL FOR ONE FUCKING MINUTE? I wish someone would just shoot me and get this over with.
@Bay52VU have you calmed down at all? that sounds a bight extreme. Feelings aren't permanent
Bit calmer thanks @loves netball, I managed to go for a walk to catch some pokemon. Couldn't go in the store though cause it seemed too empty. These feelings do seem pretty permanent though.
@Bay52VU has anyone helped you with this issue? Most people (strangers) don't really pay us much attention at all, because we're usually caught up in ourselves
Sounds like a tough morning @Bay52VU 😞 Good on you for getting a bit done at least - that's a big achievement when you feel like this!
Thanks, I think my flowchart is done. Hopefully the boss will be ok with it 😛
@N1ghtW1ng thanks 🙂
Thanks @Bay52VU and @N1ghtW1ng 🙂 They only left a little while ago plus my cousin and aunt came over too so I'm feeling very, very drained. I'll check out that list now, thanks!! I feel really pathetic for complaining so much about my gender identity and dysphoria, like I've only identified this way for 8 months, but I just want to be able to live and exist without my stupid body and all getting in the way 😞 (Also @N1ghtW1ng you're a mod now?! That's so cool, you'll be awesome at it )
Hey @DruidChild sounds like a really long day. I hope you find something good on the list to do. 🙂
It makes sense to me that your gender identity would be on your mind quite a bit - once someone figures out that their gender identity isn't what they'd assumed/been told, it can sometimes make it easier to pinpoint the cause of the dysphoria but doesn't necesarily make it easier to deal with. It's a big part of your identity as a whole so it doesn't matter how long you've identified the way you do, the feelings are equally as valid.
I know when I first 'figured out' my gender identity didn't match, I was feeling pretty impatient like "ok I finally know the problem, so I want the solution NOW" except I didn't have any sort of plan for what the solution would be (and still don't, haha :P). If I'm remembering correctly, you've told some people in your support system right? Is there anyone that you're working with to figure out what you can do to lessen the dysphoria?
@Bay52VU Thanks for the supportive post and for sharing your experience with me Sometimes it just helps to know that other people experience similar feelings, too. Yep, my counsellor knows and she suggested the other day that I go on birth control to stop my periods so hopefully that will happen sometime soon. And I am still planning to buy a binder when I can. Right now I'm probably going to listen to some music to drown out the SH thoughts. Thanks again
Negative: I hardly let myself sleep last night, then tried to hurt myself this morning and got kicked out of PARC for it.
Positive: I feel like helping/supporting others because too often I need others to support me. And I've eaten dinner.