Let's Chat: Maintaining Routine

@MB95  I relate to the sleep schedule thing so hard, and uni will be over soon so who knows what will happen then ughh!

@MB95  I'm sorry you've lost both your jobs. 😞 Things are so crazy at the moment, especially for young people like us. I've read some surveys that suggest that the unemployment/underemployment rates are much higher than the government is letting on.
I've been applying for jobs, but a lot of them can't go ahead now. In addition to my degree, a lot of them require other kinds of training or courses that aren't happening at the moment due to the pandemic. So while some of the jobs can be done at home, they can't go ahead because the training is unavailable. I've heard people who are doing the postgraduate programs I missed out on getting into also can't get placements and won't be expected to graduate on time. I feel like these online courses have been really helpful to put on my resume.
On the plus side, my grandma finally got approved for a home care package, which means she will be able to access more supports and I will be able to get some respite from caring for her and get to be out of the house more, and some of the places I volunteer with have given me some forms of payment. 🙂

Thanks @WheresMySquishy. ❤ I was pretty sad and sorry to begin with too cause it came as a bit of a shock but I think I've adjusted to it now. I have too much uni at the moment to even worry about work so I guess in one way it's a blessing in disguise cause I can just focus on my studies. I finally managed to get on AusStudy so now that my bills are being covered I'm a lot more accepting of losing my jobs. Sucks, but it is what it is and like you said, sadly so many of us are going through it at the moment 😔 It's just a shit time! 

I'm definately going to check out those courses during my break cause like you said - they're good for the resume! When things start going back to normal I would say you'll have people wanting to hire you left right and centre cause you sound very motivating and hard working which is amazing!! Just hearing your stories and then how seld motivating you are on top of it all inspires me, I think you're incredible! 😍 

And that is AMAZING to hear about your grandma! I'm very happy for you! It sounds as though things are slowly starting to look up for you? I hope you enjoy the extra time out of the house! Is there anything in particular you've been wanting to do but haven't been able to that you could do now with the extra time? 

@MB95  I think it can be a blessing in disguise too, especially if you need good grades to go onto further study. That's so awesome how you've been able to get on AusStudy! 🙂 I agree with you that we can't really change what happened, and all we can do is just try to turn our lemons into lemonade. I've signed up to a few volunteering things that I can do remotely as well. I've actually been really busy with my volunteering, more so than when I had some face-to-face positions. I hope it will show that I have been keeping busy and learning new skills during this time.

Thanks so much for the kind words! I think you're a great person and your dedication to the forums inspires me a lot.

My sister is still pretty bad, but I'm glad my grandma got approved because it took a long time even though she was marked as high priority. I think it will be a big help having someone to supervise her and do some of her care. I think the next challenge will be getting her and my dad to check out some providers and agree to it. My dad is kind of in denial about how much she needs supports, but he doesn't see how she is during the day because he's usually working. We had her assessed as part of the process and she couldn't do almost anything that required cognition or memory. They asked her the date and she said something like 1950. The main thing though is that she doesn't have much awareness of risks and how to keep herself and other people safe, and she also causes a lot of trouble for me at home. She doesn't listen to instructions and wants to have her own way, even if it inconveniences other people or causes safety issues. So she needs to be supervised all the time. I found that during times when we've had an external carer, her routine was better and she took more care of her hygiene. I think it will be good to have the extra supports.
I want to go shopping now that more retail stores and restaurants have opened up. I found a bunch of interesting restaurants and markets in the beginning of the year that ended up having to be shut down due to the virus. I really hope they can reopen so I can check them out again!

I think it will definately show how proactive you've been @WheresMySquishy! I know if I was an employer I'd hire you!! 

I am really glad to hear about your grandma cause I feel like when I first came onto RO a few months back you were talking about the struggles with trying to get her support so I'm very glad it's finally come through for you!! And I'm going to take a guess and say this is your dads mum? I can only imagine how hard it would be for him to accept. Is it dementia she has? As cute as it is that she thought it was 1950, it definately indicates how much she needs the extra care. And by the sounds of things some external care might do her some good cause often family can get cheeky and 'take advantage' so to speak if their family members are caring for them all the time. Whereas when its someone they don't know they're more likely to do whats required if that makes sense? Doesn't work like that with everyone, but it sounds like it could be a good thing! 

That sounds exciting! I'm not a huge one for shopping cause it throws my anxiety through the roof but I do LOVE a good restaurant and market! 😍 

@MB95  Thanks so much for the encouraging words! 🙂

Yep, she's my dad's mum. I think it has been hard for him to accept too. He personally doesn't think she has dementia although she has most of the signs of moderate dementia. I've taken some courses on it and volunteer in a nursing home. There are some residents who aren't as bad cognitively as her. He thinks she wouldn't survive being in a nursing home though.
Oh, my grandma definitely takes advantage of us caring for her to do what she wants! She kind of just expects us to be there all the time for her, but that's not possible for us. She was originally going to only move in temporarily, but kept making excuses not to leave and my dad decided that she couldn't live alone after my grandpa died. I guess my parents thought her health was going to go downhill after that, but that was many years ago.
The main reason why she doesn't like having carers around is that she feels embarrassed by her behaviour (which I'm pretty sure is dementia-related) in front of them. She is more motivated to do what a carer tells her to do and present herself better in front of them compared to with us. She doesn't want them to think she is bad for her age if that makes sense, although when she is asked to do anything that requires cognition or memory she can't do those things. She even forgets my name and doesn't recognise her nephews, or relationships between family members. Once she asked my dad whether his mother let him keep pets as a child.
I, along with other people, been pestering my parents for years to arrange more supports, so I'm really happy the package got approved (she was marked as high priority). I think what happens with a lot of elderly people is that they have something suddenly go wrong with their health and have to go to hospital, where it ends up being decided that they can't go back home and that they need additional care. I think my parents would have just waited for something like that to happen if multiple people hadn't kept telling them to do something about her care.

I've only gone grocery shopping twice this month and ordered everything else online. I live within walking distance of shops and there are so many people there now. Everyone is ignoring social distancing too. It's pretty scary going there. I haven't been to the big shopping centres though so I wonder if things will be different there. Maybe there will be more space to move. 🙂

From what you've shared with me it does sound like dementia so I think getting those extra supports in will really help take some weight off your shoulders! And hopefully, given time, your dad might start to accept it all. It's awesome to hear they agreed to getting help though - that's always a great start! 

I can understand the social distancing.. It's scary to see people not following the recommendations and taking things seriously! When I'm out and getting worried about it I try to tell myself that as long as I'm doing the right thing that's the main thing. And I also try to remind myself that some people that aren't distancing may even live together etc. And also that not everyone is going to have it. It's hard, and I can imagine with your sister and grandma you probably have to be extra careful? So just go where makes you feel safe and as long as you're taking the right precautions I'm sure things will be okay ❤

Great thread @Bre-RO and thanks for contributing @MB95. I thought I might contribute too:

Have you changed your routine since spending more time at home? If so, how? 

Yes. I've actually been exercising a lot more since I have more time available. I've also noticed that I've been showering at night time instead of the morning. I think it's because I don't have to leave the house in the morning anymore, and I've been exercising at night time, so it makes sense to shower after exercise. I've also been cooking more!

What has helped you stick to a routine that works for you? 

I think studying and working has helped a lot because I've had to wake up at a certain time most days of the week, which has kept me in a routine.

Has setting a routine been difficult for you? 

It hasn't been too bad. I do have a tendency to over-study though. Like when I get in the zone of studying I find it hard to snap myself out of it, which means sometimes I'll skip exercising at my set time (usually before dinner). This means that I end up exercising really late, like 9-10pm, which ends up keeping me awake later than usual. So, I've had to stop myself from exercising too late. It's also bad sometimes because if I study all day then I end up staying in my pjays all day...which makes me feel lazy even if I haven't had a lazy day. So I find going for a walk at lunchtime tends to help (and gets me out of my pjays).

@Maddy-RO what kind of exercising have you been doing? I find you midday walk to out of your PJs so relatable too hahaa

Loving this chat! I hope people don't mind, just tagging in a few people who've been active over the last few days who may want to join in @xXLexi_Lou122Xx  @Bananatime04  @Tay100  @ecla34  @Saltwaterdreamtime @Tiny_leaf @lokifish @Bee @QueenBee  @Anzelmo 

Have you changed your routine since spending more time at home? If so, how?

I have been making an effort to get out of the house for some exercise most days, even if it's just a walk around the block or walk to our local shops. I have been missing the exercise I used to get that was built in to my commute, and I'd recently got back into swimming again but obviously that's on hold too. 

I find a morning walk or run really helps me to kick off my day, and does amazing things for my frame of mind. If I'm by myself it gives me time to think, listen to music,  or catch up on podcasts. If I'm with my family we always end up having really good chats. 

It's been a pretty big adjustment for my family having both my husband and myself working from home and so home all of the time, but we are defintely getting better at switching into 'work mode', we are lucky enough to have space for a study which means that we can keep some physical boundaries between work and home life. 

What has helped you stick to a routine that works for you? 

I have a young child, so that makes sure that I'm up early every day!! I have to say that I actually really enjoy waking up early now, and enjoy my morning rituals of having a cup of coffee and listening to the birds outside.

Some of what works for me is trial and error at the moment if I'm honest - we have changed most of our daily routines, and we are still adapting. So I try and be patient with myself, and be a bit more self-aware about what is working, and what isn't. For example, I did find that I wasn't getting enough exercise in the first week of social isolating and it was making me really cranky! I am much happier now I am forcing myself to get outside. We have a shared family calendar, and stick to roughly the same dinner time every night. We also have a new ritual of having a family bike ride most evenings, which is really nice. 

Has setting a routine been difficult for you?

Yes and no. Some aspects have been hard, like getting used to not popping to the shops every few days like I used to. It means we have to be more organised about what we are going to cook and plan. Some aspects come naturally, and some things we are still working on!

@WheresMySquishy  I really value all of your insights so much as a young carer - there's so many of you out there, but we don't always hear about what's happening for you. Like you, I am really missing my volunteer stuff at a nursing home - we had to stop our program completely for the foreseable future (it was an intergenerational playgroup so definitely wasn't worth the risk), and another volunteer organisation I was involved in has also had to stop indefinitely as it involved going to people's homes for meals. It is wonderful to see that people are getting creative with online volunteering though!

What short courses have you been doing? It would be great to hear about them - I'm sure there's other community members who may be interested too 🙂 

@Janine-RO  It's sad to hear that a lot of volunteering programs have had to be stopped, especially the ones which a lot of vulnerable people benefited from. 😞 I'm actually surprised I can still volunteer at my nursing home.
One of the free online courses I did was this Psychological First Aid course. The whole course was available online as opposed to some courses that you can just audit and not participate in any of the assessments. I personally found it really helpful and it was so relevant to the current COVID-19 situation. I think it could apply to a range of settings. There have definitely been situations where I've had to use some of the things it suggested.
Another good course I'm doing is Positive Psychology - Resilience Skills. I'm only auditing it but it taught me a lot of techniques to manage anxiety, which I've already put to use and taught to other people.
Here are some other online courses I've recently done:
Understanding Dementia 
Introduction to Clinical Psychology 
Able-minded: Mental Health and People with Intellectual Disability 
Every Moment Has Potential 
This short course aimed at NDIS workers or people considering a career in it

I tried to do this course, but it was hard for me to stick to the habits with everything I have going on. Other people might find it helpful though!
There are also lots of online lectures available here. I tried watching the Death ones because I've heard that they were really eye-opening. It was kind of sleep-inducing for me (which isn't necessarily a bad thing).

@Tay100  We kind of don't really have a formal plan or routine at the moment, but I try to keep track of all the appointments via calendars and apps. The hospital has been supporting my parents. I wish they would do more though. I've personally always found the level of support to be inadequate. Most of the appointments we have now are with people we've sourced ourselves because the hospital can't do appointments as an outpatient due to the coronavirus stuff and they haven't contacted us to arrange online psych appointments for my sister.
The good news is that we've managed to get some carers for my grandma, but we haven't had to call them yet due to us spending more time in the house.

@WheresMySquishy ohh thanks for checking back in! It sounds like the virus is really messing with things for you... I hope things get better for you soon, I'm glad you've been able to source people yourself at least, it can be hard when the system isn't supporting you as you like 😕 Hang in there!

@WheresMySquishy  thanks so much for sharing all of these courses! I'm sure that there's heaps of other community members who'd be really interested, if you feel like it you could even make this a stand alone thread??

I did a Mental Health First Aid course last year, and it was really fantastic, one of the best short courses I've ever done. The Resilience Skills course also sounds really great. And the MOOC from UTas and disability courses also look incredible, I wasn't aware of heaps of these! How did you find them all? You've definitely inspired me to go looking for some short courses, this is the first year in a long time that I haven't been doing any study, and I am actually starting to miss it (something I didn't think I would say a year ago lol!)

It's disappointing that the level of support isn't quite where it needs to be for your parents,it sounds like you have been a massive support for your family in searching out different therapy options for your sister. 

Love the courses @WheresMySquishy 

Thanks for sharing

@Bre-RO This is the thread we really need right now, thanks for creating it!
I really resonate what you said about resisting change- it's a Squamish, uncomfortable vibe, but I try to look at it as an adventure as opposed to an opportunity to grow, so there's no pressure to 'be better,' just to get through it!

@WheresMySquishy being a carer can add another layer of challenges to all this finding a 'new normal' stuff- do you have a good support plan, I wonder?

@Janine-RO cheers for the tag, and yep, coffee is my source of stability too, coupled with nature!