I'm not really in the mood to type, but I do want to talk to someone.
I'm sorry that you are feeling alone right now. I want to ask: what is happening right now that is making you feel alone? Even though you said you are not in the mood at the moment to type, I would like to hear what you have to say when you are ready.
Hey @xXLexi_Lou122Xx
You are not alone in feeling alone 
. In fact FriendLine was created for the sole purpose of freeing people from loneliness. It's an Australian (perhaps even international) epidemic. If you're 18 and up for talking over the phone then you can call them. For information visit their website here.
Alternatively, once you feel up to typing, we are always here to listen.
But I don’t really like calling up help lines. They don’t help in any way whatsoever.
Not to mention that I’m only 14.
I guess I’m just a little scared for school to start. I won’t have any friends there yet, and I feel like I’ll be super antisocial. I always am in a new place...
School doesn’t start until next week, but it’s starting to get to me now.
Hi @xXLexi_Lou122Xx ,
I can totally understand feeling scared about school starting, it's always a pretty anxious time - I can sometimes take awhile to warm up to new people and places, so I really relate to what you say about feeling like you'll feel antisocial at first.
I think @Esperanza67 's idea of catching up (whether in person or online) with friends from your old school is great - can you plan out something nice for yourself, like trying out a new cafe after school or something, to have something to look forward to during the week? I'm also wondering if you know much about your new school - do they offer any activities that you may be interested in?
I remember not really knowing anyone when I started high school, and there were a lot of cliques from people who went to primary school together ( I was the only person from my primary school to go there) - I really found my tribe through music and the school band programs, other people I know found 'their people' through sport and stuff.
And the community here is always here if you want to have a chat ,or play a game! We are all here to support you, and know that you have a bunch of people who think you're awesome, and have your back
Thank you both.
I do know a lot about my new school, but it’s too much to type, so I won’t.
I was wondering if you still keep in touch with your friends from your previous school? Maybe you can contact them to help ease the nerves about starting school?
Also, you've mentioned before that you don't find helplines to be helpful, am I right? I wonder if you still find us a helpful as a forum to you?
Sending hugs as always ❤️
Yeah, and I definitely can’t believe that school’s starting next week. It seems only yesterday I was looking for a casual job for the holidays! (That was a fail, but I have some ideas on where I can start getting work experience).
I can still keep in touch with my old friends, but I’m not allowed to contact people on my phone at all during school hours. Even then, they would be busy with whatever they are doing.
ReachOut is more of a place to find people that have the same problems, and get peer support. Rather than an empty voice repeating the same thing over again, that’s already been said before.
ReachOut is different. We all have our different personalities and problems, and we work together to make things work.
I don’t class ReachOut as a helpline, because it’s anonymous and multiple people can help at the same time. And you can’t call people either. Only chatting on a forum.
That’s what I like about ReachOut.
And I haven’t gotten very triggered or been unsafe before, all because of ReachOut!
So yes, ReachOut is still the most helpful anything’s ever been to me. And I love helping other users where I can too!
Hi @xXLexi_Lou122Xx ,
I just wanted to say how beautiful I thought your words about ReachOut were, and to me it really summarises what I think is so unique and wonderful about this community, and everyone in it. We are so glad that this community is a useful and safe space for you
Good morning @xXLexi_Lou122Xx ,
I hope you managed to get some good sleep last night, how are you feeling today ?
It sounds like it's a really difficult time for you, starting a new school can be a really stressful experience. Is there anything that we as a community can do to help to support you?
I don't think there's anything you guys can do...
I'm just empty, and wanting someone to understand irl that I'm not okay. Just someone I can cuddle up to. But that someone is never there. I need someone that's not my mum, but someone I'm really close to. Like one of my motherly church family members. Or a youth leader. But they are never free enough to give me their time.
Even when I'm chatting to them, they just find someone else that "needs them more" than I do.
Even check ins are shorter just so others can have one longer.
I know your here, but you're already going through so much. I don't want you to become triggered and start feeling bad by blaming yourself for me feeling down.
So I tend to not tag you, so I can support you. Rather than risking making you feel bad...
I’m sorry I haven’t seen your new thread earlier! Good job on making one 🙂
I’m going to be 100% honest right now so please don’t think I’m just saying this to make you feel better. I want to help you and I know what is helpful for me and what is not helpful for me. Helping others is such a beautiful thing that just fills my heart with so much hope- seeing that people can feel better after being so down gives me a reason to keep going so that I can live to see that experience in myself. Being so close to the reason someone can feel better and feel supported by my words really effects me in a positive way that I can’t do on my own. But when I fail, I don’t blame myself. It motivates me to try harder and to not give up on that persons happiness. I really enjoy talking to you and all I want is for you to be happy and for me to do the best that I can to make that happen. I can see where you are coming from but look at your situation for example. You are so incredibly amazing at supporting other users such as myself on the forums, while experiencing your own issues. I do the same! Except I do it because I care about you, it helps me to make a difference in how someone is feeling and I know that I’m capable of making that difference if I put my mind to it and I don’t want that to just go to waste and have you feeling like shit if I can do something about it.
A lot of the people on the forums have many of their own problems while helping other users. You telling me your problems doesn’t risk making me feel bad, I’m going to see your posts anyway but I also understand that you don’t want my help. I’m not going to force it but I am here anytime you need. I’m almost always on the forums and check my notifications every 10 minutes so if no one else is online I’m always here.
I’m sorry that you feel you don’t want me to help you.
Thanks for telling me
Goodbye
I knew I probably said something wrong, I just wasn't sure what. I do want your help. I swear I do. I didn't know that you were okay with helping me. I always feel alone when you stop talking to me.
I'm so sorry. Please. Don't go.
The way you described those words to me just shows how much you care about me. I...
I can't describe what I want to say...
I really don't know what I'm saying anymore.
But I'm not worth your time. I love it when you help me, but I want to be cautious. I always try my best to make sure everyone is okay. But I never can always do that. That's something I failed at just now... 😥
I really am sorry.
I really understand what your are feeling. I know what it’s like to feel so lonely and cut out of the world while being in a crowd of people. I know what it feels like to feel numb. I know what it feels like to feel guilty for dropping all your problems on someone you care about, asking them for help. I know what it feels like to not be yourself. I know how you feel. I just need you to know that I’m here. I’m not demanding you to let me help you but I’m going to be here when you need me because I love and care about you so much. I don’t want to push you to have a conversation with me if you don’t want to but I’ll be here the minute that changes.
You didn’t say the wrong thing. It has really opened my eyes, knowing how you feel. I appreciate you telling me this is how you feel because I wouldn’t have known.
Please don’t be sorry, you have done absolutely nothing wrong. I’m okay 🙂 You don’t have to say anything at all, don’t stress!
You are worth my time. I choose to be here and I choose to come back! I love talking to you. You deserve all the help that is available to you and I am available to you whenever you need. You make me feel so much better about myself all the time! You certainly haven’t failed
This is just negative talking, none of it is true. That may seem really hard to believe right now but you need to keep your head up 🙂 you’re strong! I’ve seen how strong you are.
*hugs*
I hope you’re ok
I really appreciate your words. @Bananatime04 thank you for coming back. I'm glad we both feel the same way about each other. I'm always happy to help and chat to you too.❤
@Eden1717 thank you for your kind words. I will try and remember that.
The only thing is that irl, my family is hard to talk to, because... well, their my family. But in my church family, that changes. I can talk easily to them, and feel listened to. But lately, that's been changing. Even the one motherly lady at church, has become far too busy to talk to me. The youth leaders don't really care, about me in particular. They listen to the other girls, but I feel like I'm way too much of a burden on them than the other girls. They all have less of emotional situations than I, and seem to have more control over their lives than me.
That is what hurts. I'm different to the other girls, and the leaders don't even care about me.
They should care. That's why they are leaders. To help younger people to get through life and become disciples of God.
But they don't seem to have the room in their lives and hearts to actually listen and let me be myself.
So when youth starts back up again, I'm going to keep everything inside. They don't need my burdens. They don't need me at all. I'll just withdraw from everything. I'll say that I'm fine, so they can leave me alone.
Even if I don't really want to. I can't just be okay, so I'll make myself okay with keeping everything inside and not let out anything. I won't waste people's time like that, will I?
I don't even know anymore...
I'm safe
Hi @xXLexi_Lou122Xx , @Bananatime04 and @Eden1717 ,
Just catching up on this thread - I have to say, I am constantly blown away by how articulate you guys are, and how much wisdom and support you share with each other. @xXLexi_Lou122Xx and @Bananatime04 I'm glad that you are able to communicate well and resolve any misunderstandings, I don't know about you but I find that even though I really love online spaces, I sometimes find it can be really easy to think someone has taken offence/ misread tone, and think the way you guys were able to be mindful of each other's feelings is really great.
Yay you! 😄
@xXLexi_Lou122Xx , I'm sorry that you're feeling like you can't open up and feel listened to by your church community. It sounds like it's been a really safe space for you in the past, and I hope that can return in the future for you. The end of the year can be a really busy and stressful time for everyone, do you think that could be part of the reason why people seemed too busy to talk to you?
I hear you say that they don't need your burdens - it is easy to feel like we are a burden on the people we care about when we're feeling depressed, but I can promise you that you are not a burden here. And I hope that you can find the support you need and deserve from your support system at church.
And remember, you do also have a strong community here who really value you. I'm imagining the support a bit like this:
One day my church family will be better. But not for a while.
It's not just the new year, just in general they're all too busy.
But oh well. I'm a waste of space and time to them.
