Turning Negatives Into Positives
At the suggestion of Lightuptheworld, I thought I'd start another 'Turning Negatives into Positives' thread like there is on the old forum. Below is a quote from Antria who started the thread on the previous forum which I think explains the idea of the thread quite well.
"Sometimes it can be helpful to turn our thinking around and begin to challenge the way we look at things. Turning negatives into positives is a way of doing this! Basically, think of something that happened today, this week, this month or at some other time that felt negative and see if you can find a positive in it (or that came out of it)."
I find posting in this thread really helps me to look at things in a different way or see positives that I might not have noticed if I'm in a negative headspace. I'll start the ball rolling:
Negative: My friend didn't turn up to class this morning and I was worried I would be alone because I don't really know anyone else in the class.
Positive: It gave me a chance to sit with new people and get to know them better 🙂
Over to you!
positive: was able to try to do things to keep my mind off, and reached out for help. At least I didn't go as far as I could've.
Negative: had a tough day, and I was struggling to keep myself going
Positive: I kept myself going and alive
Negative: I've been thinking about the past a lot again.
Positive: I'm not there anymore.
Positive: I don't know. I guess I'm still reaching out and doing things and it helps a little.
Negative: I feel hopeless and I get intense thoughts.
Positive: I've made it through in the past and I've reached out for support when needed.
@Creativegirl12 Sorry to hear that you're feeling low and lonely. I feel like I can relate on some level as there been times where i've completely withdrawn from my friends and felt that way.
I think it's really great that you can keep in mind that you've been able to get thorugh these kinda times in the past!
I'm really impressed with your positives @Creativegirl12! Recognising your strenth by saying that you've gotten through these feelings before is a great frame of mind.
I'm sure there are users (myself included) who feel a connection with you through your posts and the support you've offered on RO. And we're always here to listen and chat when you need to. 
Neg: Feeling rather down right now, just empty and unsure of everything right now. I've got no motivation to get anywork done today. Feling flat. I don't know how to get around this/move on and achieve anything. What is even best in these situations?
Pos: I'm going to have these moments for a while still. I'm on medicatioin to help with this. I'm seeing my psych and gp regularly to get through this.
Neg: I am yet to actually book that apt for my GP to see me early this week like she said Friday. Part of me doesn't want to go back. 😞 I'm scared. I don't even know where to turn with it. Nothing really feels ok.
Pos: I know I need to go back. For myself. I need to do it for me.
Neg: Looking at my TAFE work and feeling very overwhelmed and stressed. Feeling like it's too much to figure it out. I just don't feel capable.
Pos: I'm slowly chipping through it. I will get as much done as I can and figure the rest out afterwards.
Neg: My wrist is getting sore again. After so long without any pain at all! 😞
Pos: I'm looking after myself. I'm treating my wrist the best way I can right now with what has previously worked 🙂
I'm so stoked to see you finding solutions and your inner strength to work through the negatives you mentioned @Bee! You've got some really solid support around you and I thnk it's such a positive thing to see you speak about how you'll use it to get through these feelings. Like a plan of attack to get through this!
We've all got your back too Bee!
Sorry not to see your latest message @Bee and I am so sorry to hear you have had a tough day today. Remember the strengths that you have and that it is ok to take a break when you need to. You are working incredibly hard at the moment and your mind as well as your body needs time to recover. You will always have support here whenever you need it.
thanks @Kit it's a work in progress. I was able to send her an email over the weekend, and got a reply this afternoon.
I know. I took today off because I wasn't feel well, and was just exhausted! I know there's support here. It's one of the only things keeping me going right now!
Neg: Was feeling so exhausted this morning, I found it hard to surface.
Pos: I took care of my body and decided to stay home. I eventually rag in sick.
Neg: I felt bad not going in, especially since I was just tired. Also knowing I'll have to do an extra day next week.
Pos: My director was understanding. It'll be fine. I have that week off work anyway, so it'll be fine!
Neg: Haven't managed to get any work done.
Pos: I caught up on much needed sleep instead!
Anniversaries can be tough @Shadow but as you noted it is just one day amongst many. The sun will rise as normal and a slip up is but a momentary lapse; you can be proud of yourself for recognising this and acknowledging that you were at a point where you needed support.
Gathering early support and arranging your survival kit is really helpful. Go you!
Positive: at least I managed to get out a little of my room and feel better a bit better.
@redhead that is totally okay. You've had a hard night and they're big questions. Let's put the first one in your back pocket for tomorrow, after you've slept. Maybe just keep it to ask your case manager or therapist about.
As for the second one, let's break it down into smaller questions you might be in a better place to think about.
- How is your body?
- Have you taken care of yourself physically?
- Have you eaten, had enough water, and taken all of your meds?
- Are you in any physical pain? It's really difficult to feel safe if our bodies are crying out for care.
- How are you mentally?
- Are you dealing with a lot of intrusive thoughts and feelings?
- If so, it's time for us to pull out the old distractional techniques to help you de-escalate and get out of Fight or Flight mode.
- Or are you feeling zoned-out and blank?
- If this is the case, it's time to get mindfulness happening to reconnect you with your environment and the world.
- Are you dealing with a lot of intrusive thoughts and feelings?
You don't have to answer all of these questions for me (unless that's helpful for you, of course). Just take a minute to do a bit of a self-assessment and work out what your needs are. Once you know what you need, you can either take care of it yourself, or let us know and we'll all come up with some strategies to help you be safe tonight.
Feeling really anxious and on edge right now, my housemates are making noise (although really not much) in another room and I'm just about to snap. I don't want to go to my stupid appointment tomorrow, or work, why am I feeling like this. I'm such a freak, I feel so overwhelmed and I want to hurt myself. Sorry for my language but this is seriously fucking hard.
Positive: I'm here, trying to get support and not bottling it up inside. I can't think of much more to add to this though
I don't really want to do any of it @Kaz-RO which is so stupid like me
I get that @j95. But you know better than anyone that the safety plan is the only way you're going to feel better. Take your time.
I think there is a big part of you that knows that your safety plan is an awesome tool, @j95, even though right now your brain doesn't want you to believe that. I get that you're feeling overwhelmed. Going slow is totally fine. But that safety plan is your best support right now, and it's where you need to put your focus.
That's alright, @j95. You're allowed to feel angry. But what you do about it is always your choice. Right now, you get to choose how to help yourself. What does your safety plan say to do when you're feeling this angry?
that's an awesome start at thinking about staying safe @j95. What's next on the list if a walk isn't possible?
Now you know I'm going to disagree with that @j95. Spikes happen.
You also know what you can do to help yourself tonight. You know your safety plan works, and there is a part of you in there that knows you deserve to de-escalate from Big Mode and come back to yourself. That's the part of you that's here, asking for help.
So take the help. Get your safety plan out. Keep trying. I trust you know what's best for you, and how to stay safe.
