Turning Negatives Into Positives
At the suggestion of Lightuptheworld, I thought I'd start another 'Turning Negatives into Positives' thread like there is on the old forum. Below is a quote from Antria who started the thread on the previous forum which I think explains the idea of the thread quite well.
"Sometimes it can be helpful to turn our thinking around and begin to challenge the way we look at things. Turning negatives into positives is a way of doing this! Basically, think of something that happened today, this week, this month or at some other time that felt negative and see if you can find a positive in it (or that came out of it)."
I find posting in this thread really helps me to look at things in a different way or see positives that I might not have noticed if I'm in a negative headspace. I'll start the ball rolling:
Negative: My friend didn't turn up to class this morning and I was worried I would be alone because I don't really know anyone else in the class.
Positive: It gave me a chance to sit with new people and get to know them better 🙂
Over to you!
Great to hear you are not giving up and you will keep trying. I absolutely admire that 🙂 Yeah as long as you get to rest and recharge that's important so its good that you will have a few days to relax.
You are strong and it is tough but you keep bringing yourself back up. You are amazing 😉
@ruenhonx thank you. Those words are reasuring for me today!
Neg: Woke late. Wasn't even thinking straight. Agh.
Pos: It was ok. I managed
Neg: Cried on the way to prac because I'd had such a shit morning. I nearly felt like ringing in sick and skipping the day. Giving up entirely. I just don't know where to turn anymore! 😞
Pos: I went to prac. My day improved. The babies were a good help/distrction fro the most part.
Neg: Not feeling like I can cope in this field of study. I mean I'm finding it extremeley difficult now while a student with studies, I doubt I have sufficient knowledge to adequately care for these little children. I'm just not skilled enough.
Pos: I know deep down I CAN care for little children, I just don't know if working in the sector if the best for me, especially because of how depending it is and fast paced it can get. I don't want to be in a high stress envrionment full time.
Neg: I am going to talk to both my teacher and psych before I decide to drop/change careers. Part of me doesn't think I can cope with finishing the course. It keeps replaying in my mind. I'm really struggling this prac again and I'm just not enjoying it
Pos: I feel bad about wanting to leave study and the sector. I feel bad that I continue to doubt my ability to cope in the sector. I feel silly for wanting to give up on it entirely.
Neg: Really feel like screaming! I'm so frustrated and irritable and fragile. I just want to run away from it all. It's like I'm living in hell. It's all too much! 😞
Pos: I'm trying to calm down. I've got some music playing so hopefully I can get lost in that. I've come here because it was one of the things my psych said to do upon mentioning I regularly use the forums.
Neg: Realised today I'm way behind with my prac work. *sigh* I couldn't even care if I finished at this point. I'm just over it all. Very much so.
Pos: What I have left is doable. I've done everything I need to, kinda. I need to focus on my written tasks now. I know what I need to do. I just need to find some form of motivation.
Neg: Feeling really exhausted and drained. I have no energy whatsoever!
Pos: I'm chugging through each day.
Neg: Is that healthy tho? Can I really do this long term? Can I really struggle through another semester of study without putting myself even more backwards with ym mental healh? Do I need to fous on my health first?
Pos: These are things I need to think about and discuss with either my gp or psych, or my teacher.
Hey @Bee it sounds like you've got a lot going on right now, which can definitely seem overwhelming. I was really impressed with your positives though. I admire how you're able to look at the issue that's bothering you and come up with a realistic and effective approach to it. It's so good to hear that you're utilising the support options around you with your councillor, teacher and as you mentioned, on RO!
Awesome work sticking it out today and going to prac, even though you really didn't want to. You should be proud of days like today, where you've proven to yourself that you have the strength to push through. I'm glad your prac turned out to be a good experience!
I think it's great that you're speaking to your teacher and councillor before making the decision to drop or change careers. It's important to weigh up everything and speak to people who can offer you good advice. You've already accomplished so much, so whichever way you decide to go, make sure you acknowledge all that you've done!
That was probably the hardest thing today, was waling in when I felt so crappy. But I told my supervisor I wasn't having the best day and she was understanding..
I've never really known fully what I want to do, and I'm unsure if me feeling like I'm in the wrong field is the combination of struggling with mental illness and the medication and stress causing me to think like that, or if it's actually for real what I want. Hopefully talking to them will give me some direction. Especially since my teacher has known me for quite a few years now....
It's a really common thing to be unsure if you're on the right career path or not, so you're not alone there! I have a few friends who had finished uni, been in their career for a few years and then realised it wasn't what they wanted to do.
It's important to really think about it though, and not make any rash decisions. The fact that your teacher has known you for a few years gives you a person who you can go to for solid advice on the matter.
Glad to hear your superviser was understanding today too. It takes that extra edge of stress away from work when you have considerate people like that around you.
@moonwalk I plan on having those discussions after I finish this prac. Gives me a chance to say well I didnt cope well again his prac, I'm not really enjoying it nor am I engaged. I could even just defer it for a while and come back to it at a later date.
Yes it did. I've developed a decent relationship with them which is good.
Neg: The shop didn't have the plug I need for my car stereo, so I need to look online. Which means I have to wait even longer to put my new stereo sytem in
Pos: On the bright side, it'll be done properly from the get go 🙂
Neg: Feeling a little overwhelmed still by everything with my health. It's all happening and it's so hard not having anyone who I really trust to turn to and cry with. I have another gp apt tomorrow morning and am not really looking forward to it. SO I wrote a bit late night about whats been happening since I last saw her. Now it's just the giving it to her bit.
Pos: I wrote it incase I got stuck/anxious. It's already there so I don't have to try and think too much! It's enough detail that she can read it and know what's been going on, but it's not too much detail.
Neg: I'm kinda just over the whole seeking help thing already, it's really taking a toll on me and I'm questioning if I was right to start thejourney when I did.
Pos: I made a promise to myself that I would do what it took to get better when I signed up with eheadspace last August/September (?) That's approx 10 months of really hard work! It's been about 7 months of working with the one clinician at eheadspace and 3 and a bit months since I first saw my GP! I'm making slow progress.
Neg: Feeling really overwhelmed with the sheer amount of work I still need to complete. It's just one huge stress cloud above my head which only grows as I work through it! 😮
Pos: I'm slowly working through it. I will do my best. At the end it's all I can do.
Neg: I've been chatting with an old high school friend and I'm starting to see why I didn't fight the friendship ending. I'm just feeling really judged and made to feel insignificant. I'm not feeling like I have a say in what I do at all. I'm realy wanting to just be free from all the drama. On one hand I want t patch things up, bu on the other, there is too much history and I don't want that in my life anymore. I don't think I'm ready to have a friendship with her.
Pos: I can get through this. I am not going to reply anymore on the topic, and say I've got study to do and am doing it.
I also need to see that she's changed. Our friendship was bad on both sides, and I know that part of me not wanting to resume or create a new friendship is because I haven't fully moved on or changed like I want to. I'm very much in a ccle right now of needing to be there for me, and not needing any pressure from others. And I feel like I just can't give anything to anyone right now.
Neg: I'm kinda feeling a bit guilty because I've not done as much as I want, but I'm feeling so exhausted at the same time. Gah. 😞
Pos: I'll live. I'm going to email my teacher and clarify when it's all due. I'm lost in it all.
Can I just say @Bee that your presence on this thread is amazing. You always come up with the best positives for your negatives, and I think a lot of the time in doing this you actually come up with solutions to the things that are getting you down.
I know you have a lot going on between your health, study and friends/family life but you deal with it better than I think you realise! You're super strong, you have an answer for most things and if you don't you encourage yourself to go back and chat to your gp or headspace worker. It's great and it inspires me so i'm sure it inspires others.
I hope your appointments went well last week and that you have been able to sort out the conversations with your old friends. Taking time for yourself really is the best decision.
@moonwalk I made my to-do list, 13 items of things I need to do, 6 was my assessment broken down into tiny increments. I've crossed 1 off the assessment and 2 of the others... Not very productive really.
I tried to get the assessment out of the way this arvo, but came down with a migraine so I'm hoping to squeeze it in sometime, when I find more motivation!
@lanejane thank you. I didn't think there was anything wow about my positives, but hey if you say so I'll accept that! lol
Same with how I deal/cope with things. I'm aware I've always struggled to cope with things very well, and I think this thread is something which actually helps with that - which is why I keep coming back. I'm more likely to follow through if I've posted here than if I just write it in my journal!
My last gp apt didn't go so well, I panicked and scared them to the point they wanted to put me in hospital. But instead referred me to a psychiatrist....
My psychologist apt today went okay! I was able to talk which was good. I'll reflect on this in more detail in the other thread where I've posted about seeing her...
Neg: Didn't sleep well last night, my cat also woke me up playing with the door! 😞
Pos: I did get some sleep which was good.
Neg: Went to do my assessment and came down with a migraine!
Pos: I took painrelief and lay down to help. I fell asleep and spelt for 2 hours! Which gave me some energy
Neg: The sleep meant I didn't get time to work on my assessment. I don't have energy or motivation now 😞
Pos: I took care of myself which is the main thing! I also got a tiny bit done.
Neg: I feel bad that I told my teacher I hoped ot get it in Wednesday night, but it's now Friday and I haven't sent it in!
Pos: I'll explain it. She was understanding when I couldn't get it in with the other stuff. I'm sure she'll be fine with it.
Neg: Feeling fatigued, drowsy and low. Also have a sore throat and I keep momentarily loosing my voice.
Pos: I'm looking after myself to help keep this flu at bay! I will survive. *wants to break out in song and dance...*
Positive: I feel better after eating migraine painkiller
Negative: i feel alone and like nobody understands me
Positive: I don't know
Negative: found my flight tiring and exhausting
Positive: I got through it despite the fact I was feeling bad
Neg: The GP ran rather late today. After that I struggled to communicate with her, which lead her to suggest going to hospital, which I refused. I felt so scared. So unsure. She brought in a senior GP in the practice... He managed to get me to talk! Feeling very out of it tonight. Didn't get anything at prac don today. Feeling so lost. Feeling so stuck. Feeling so unsure of life. I just want to hide.
Pos: I know she only did her best. suggesting hospital was probs the only way she could think of to keep me safe with the details she had at that moment. She called the senior GP in to help, which he did.
Neg: They took my blood pressure which was high. "why is it so high?" 'because of the anxiety.' He also said that the lack of improvement in 2 weeks wasn't much to be worried about, that some of what I had said was a side effect... There was talk about upping the dosage, but I have no clue what I'm meant to be doing anymore.
Pos: He said my BP was high because of the anxiety I was experiencing at that moment. It's not something to worry about. I am meant to see my gp on Wednesday, but so far don't have an apt. Maybe I can ring tomorrow during my break?
Neg: The gp referred me to a psychiatrist who happens to be more than 6hours drive away. I don't know if it's going to be a video link apt or what. I know nothing. I don't know if I'm meant to be upping my dose, or what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm doing at all.... I also wasn't given an apt for Wednesday. Nor was I told anything. Gah. I just want to give up already. It's all to fucking hard.
Pos: I don't know what to do. I cbf trying to find out anymore. I really just want to give up and continue struggling awy on my own accord, at least that seemed easier...
Neg: I tried opening up to a classmate tonight, but didn't feel as though it was very helpful. I just want to scream.
Pos: It's early days. I'm trying to let people in
Neg: I'm just so stuck right now. I just don't know anymore.
Pos: I need help on this one!
Pos: You are still attending appointments and participating in life in the ways that you can at the moment. It can be a rather confusing time when you start to seek help, but whether you realise it or not, you are making amazing progress! 🙂
Anything you are unsure of, you should just ask your GP to clarify.
Letting people in is awesome! If it is any constellation, it took me a month after my first appointment before I could even talk about my diagnosis with anyone, including my parents.
I know I should, I don't even feel up to asking her tho, when I shut down my first priority is to get out of there, often leaving without really knowing what I'm meant to be doing. Because I know once I leave I have a better chance of calming myself down. I don't know why it's so hard to face it.
Perhaps when you ring tomorrow, you could ask for clarification, even if that means her ringing back when she isn't busy. Or if the 2 of you are in contact via email, just email her.
@stonepixie well yes that is true. I often forget that. I didn't end up ringing the clinic today, I didn't have time, and the close before I finish work today. I have decided to just continue with the initial dose and go from there. It's also the same dose as written on my referral for the psychiatrist....
Neg: Looking through my book and realising I didn't write down any notes for my focus children this last week just gone! 😮 uho. I don't even know what they did when they were present! Oops.
Pos: I have some photos, I have an analysis of the experience I ran. I can make something from that I guess.
Neg: I get so far than I crash and feel so unmotivated and procrastination strikes. I then doubt myself and my ability to get anything done.. I dislike feeling like this.
Pos: I'm getting things done. I'm slowly crossing them all off my to-do list. I've been a bit more motivated today after going to work. I don't know why but it's had that effect on me today! I know the doubt is a symptom of the illness trying to roar it's ugly head, I've been too awesome for it this morning.
Neg: Part of me is still questioning if the GP was right in thinking that hospital was the best place for me right now...
Pos: What she doesn't know is how I CAN cope with things outisde of appointments etc. What I've struggled to convey is HOW I manage to get through. What I haven't managed to convey, is that despite the terrible thoughts inside my head, I don't actually want to act upon them. I don't. What I struggle to admit is that, despite being so tired and lacking in energy etc, I look forward to work. It's something I am actually enjoying! I love the interaction with customers, I enjoy beig able to run between different tasks at work. I enjoy that I'm working individually but also apart of a biger team running a company.
Neg: I'm often getting too caught up in everything to focus on what I want. I get too caught up in the negative to focus or function. And mostly this is in my apts with health professionals, and it's when the anxiety and fear totally take control, partly because it's easier to let them, but partly because I don't want to face facts.
Pos: I'm working towards all of this. I'm working on moving past the negative thoughts, and not letting them control me. It's just a slow process, which isn't always successful for me. I'm working on being able to talk with my health professionals. It's not something I'm very familiar with - talking alloud about this stuff, so it's going to be hard and frustrating at times.
Neg: I feel like my motivation for today has disappeared. I'm feeling like I can't achieve anything more today in terms of my assessments. I'm feeling at limit right now.
Pos: I've recognised this. I'm going to take a break and come back to it later, so I don't end up digging myself into a hole again.
Neg: It was a rather short study stint, and I don't feel like I've really achieved much.
Pos: It was short, but productive. I've got my reflections finished! I got my practice review finished! I have finished one whole word doc to send through! My todo list is shrinking! I need to remember that looking after me sometimes means shorter study sessions. And that's totally okay!
Hey @Bee
It sucks to hear how tough tthings are for you right now. That beign said, I think you've done an amazing job at reflecting on your situations from a different perspective, even though i'm sure some of it must be realy overwhelming.
I definitely agree with @stonepixie that your effort in attending appointments and the initiative you're taking with your life is a big positive which i'm sure is helping you! In particular I can imagine how tough it must be to work on becoming more able to talk to health professionals more comfortably. The fact that you've identified that as something you want to take the initative to work is pretty damn brave.
Keep up the great work turning those thoughts around!
thanks @moonwalk @benjamin_ for replying to me, I can't form any reply right now. I'm just not feeling up to it.
Neg: Feeling very exhausted. My brain power is ever so low. My mood is ever so low. I'm just not feeling okay tonight. Not feeling up to anything 😞 Struggling to focus on anything as of yet. Just ready to really cry. It feels way too hard to finish my assessments. Ready to give up on them. Can I? Ready to drop out of the course. It's too hard and not enjoyable, I'm not intereted. Ergh. 😞 So sad. Not a happy Bee. I'm very unhappy...
Pos: I'm doingeverything I can right now to cope/manage/work though this. I'm doing the right things by taking the medication daily, trying to remind myself there is good in the worl. That it will pass. I'm trying so hard to keep my mood stable and no have anoutburst at the tip of a hat.
Neg: Haven't rung the medical centre back. I missed another call today, and couldn't find it in me to ring them back. I know it's about the referral to see a psychiratrist...part of me feels too scared. But part of me feels ok to talk to someone at this clinic because of what I've read on their website!
Pos: If I haven't rung/answered a call by time I see my psych on Friday, I will ensure she helps me/finds out for me.
Neg: Haven't achieved anything tonight. Feeling really bad about this. And there's bad thoughts in my head again
Pos: I've remained safe despite it all. I'm sticking to my GP's question about staying safe.
Neg: Feeling so conflicted. I keep quetioning if I am better off in hospital, but I'm super scared. I'm confused and feeling lost. 😞
Pos: I'm feeling contradicted because I can see both sides. When I'm well you'd not know any different, however when I'm bad you can easily pick something is wrong...
Pos: I trust that my GP wouldn't have let me leave if she thought that I needed to be in hospital. Something reassured her. Pitty I don't know what it as to use it with myself!
Neg: Part of me is trying so hard not to grab *object* and harm. I'm trying so very hard to distract myself from the bad and ugly thoughts circling my mind right now. It's so hard! 😞
Pos: I've managed so far tonght without hurting me. I've remained safe. I've managed to escape the fury of my own thoughts. Jus a while longer.
Neg: It all hurts so bad.
Pos: We're working on getting better. It's going to be a slow journey...
I don't think anything will feel good tonight. I might just go to bed and hope to god I get this finished tomorrow morning!
The only trouble with the Breathe App, is it's only for Apple products, I'm android! SO that won't work for me.
Neg: Feeling so contradicted right now so much going through my mind. Feeling so fragile.
Pos: I've taken steps to alleviate some stress. I'm slowly making some progress.
Neg: I've not been as consistent with taking my medication as I probably should be the last few days.
Pos: I'm not sure if it's had any effect, just makes me feel bad, even when I sat the alarm for it, I just ignore it. Leavingit until later to do.
Pos: I'm still taking it each day which I guess is the main part. I can, SHOULD talk to my GP about this one. Or even my psych.
Neg: Still haven't rung the health centre. I got a letter from the clinic the psychiatrist practices in in the city today. I need to figure out what I need to do! I NEED to ring them tomorrow and sort it out. I NEED to do this FOR ME!
Pos: Now that I have the letter it has sunk in a bit more - not that I like that. Hopefully this will help me to ring the health centre and sort it all out.
Neg: Didn't get all my work finished to hand in today.
Pos: I got most of it done. I went and saw my teacher, let her know, and will get that last bit ASAP. I talked to her about next semester and really it's all up in the air still. I know the choice is mine but it's hard to consider. *Argh*
Pos: I've started talking about it. I know a little bit more now. I need to make a decision based upon myself and what is best for my health short & LONG term.
Neg: Needing to talk to someone about this stuff, someone I can be honest with who will just listen more than anything and help me get it out. But I don't know who I can trust that I can talk to. I feel like I've pushed all those people away. One person I have talked to I'm weary with what I share because I know she's got a lot going on with her children right now. I don't want to add more stress to her, especially when she's feeling sick atm too!
Pos: I can ask her and see what she says. I don't know if I'm overstressing her unless I ask! At the same time I don't want to take away fromt he time her daughter needs. It's stressful to make that call right now.
Neg: Not feeling up to finishing that last bit of work. It feels too hard. It took me a few hours to do the other one of similar nature today! And I was so distracted...
Pos: I WILL sart it after tea. I know that it feels hard, but once it's done it should feel a little better. And the I can allow myself time toreally focus on other things!
The only way I am able to complete this last ask is in chunks. It just requires a lot of thinking and judgement based upon what I've got, and what I've got isn't overly detailed which makes it kinda harder. The doing is just as bad as the anticipation for this one... And I'm stalling because I really just don't want to do it. I can't be more honest than that.
I swear by the to-do list @Bee! It's the best way for me to keep organised, and the feeling of accomplishment after crossing something off motivates me so much to keep pushing through. It also helps me see that the task isn't as huge and overwhelming as I first thought.
Keep us posted on how you go with your to-do list. 
Neg: I'm exhausted and I've only done 1 question! 😞
Pos: I know I get tired more easily in winter, so I'm pacing myself 🙂 Burning myself out will make me sick and I refuse to let it get that bad again!
Neg: What if I screw it up like I did last time?
Pos: It was my first exam. I knew the work. I just didn't plan my time properly. I can improve for next time. !'ve passed all my assessments, so I should be OK
Neg: What if I fail Developmental Psych?
Pos: P's get degrees! 🙂 All I have to do is describe topics with examples and I've got the textbook to help me. Even if I only use the 1 chapter for each question, I'll still pass
Neg: I hate how I keep looking back, thinking it was easier! It was NOT easier! 😞 I can't seem to let go... How can I say I'm recovered?
Pos: I am recovered. I'm just tired. It's been a long day!
Awesome positives @Shadow! Congrats on passing all your exams so far.
I feel like I get more tired in the winter months too. No way I could live somewhere that has super long and cold winters like parts of Canada and the US. When I do start to feel more tired I go for a quick walk or do some kind of excercise and it wakes me right up!
