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Turning Negatives Into Positives
At the suggestion of Lightuptheworld, I thought I'd start another 'Turning Negatives into Positives' thread like there is on the old forum. Below is a quote from Antria who started the thread on the previous forum which I think explains the idea of the thread quite well.
"Sometimes it can be helpful to turn our thinking around and begin to challenge the way we look at things. Turning negatives into positives is a way of doing this! Basically, think of something that happened today, this week, this month or at some other time that felt negative and see if you can find a positive in it (or that came out of it)."
I find posting in this thread really helps me to look at things in a different way or see positives that I might not have noticed if I'm in a negative headspace. I'll start the ball rolling:
Negative: My friend didn't turn up to class this morning and I was worried I would be alone because I don't really know anyone else in the class.
Positive: It gave me a chance to sit with new people and get to know them better 🙂
Over to you!
thanks @ruenhonx
@moonwalk ah thanks. I forgot to write them down and show my psych. I'm finding getting that info across so very hard! It's coming out in random blobs and it's frustrating me..
I know, she's been really patient with me, but I can't help but think I'm not doing enough. *sigh* ohwell...
Neg: Was late to my psych apt yesterday...
Pos: It was ok, I sent a text just incase she wasn't with anyone. I was able to talk a bit with her. We're making very slow progress. She got me to laugh again which was a positive.
Neg: Part of me thinks I'm not doing enough to make progress. I'm not telling her things I should, I'm not sharing things with my gp that I need to. It's like this whirlwind of crap going around inside my head, and each time I just sit there and I just seem to forget what my main goal in all of this is. What am I doing, really?
Pos: I am doing my best. I've been able to read through and have a go at the sheets my psych has given me. We're starting to work together, I'm finding ithard because I've never let someone in on this level before, so it's incredibly tough... I am listening to her and doing my best to follow through with it all.
Neg: Have my apt with the psychiatrist tomorrow morning, and my haircut at lunch time. *sigh* Feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all! 😮 Feeling a bit scared by it all. I'm scared. I'm worried about it. What if I sleep in? What if mum wants to come when I say I'm going out? What if I just can't get out of home to get there? What if I panic in the carpark and can't walk in? What if???? That's only the tip of the iceberg inside my head. There is so much more inside! 😮
Pos: I HAVE sat in my car for 15mins a few times before going in to see a health professional. I have managed to drag myself through it before. I need to try at least. We've gone down this route because I've not responded as I should have to what we've tried already. *sigh*
Pos: I've got to remember that it's going to be a long road, and I'm going to find it hard work, but I can't give up. I know I can do this!!
Neg: saw a diff gp yesterday because I came down sick after finishing the antibiotics. He also mentioned a couple results from my blood test, partly which scared me once I did sme research and felt really terrible about last night.... I'm really scared. I also don't want to hear the rest, I don't want to have that discussion with my GP, nor my psych. Can I just run away from it all?
Pos: It can be treated. It also explains why I've been so exhausted of late and why body is having trouble fighting this infection...
I'm having a hard time with this positive. I guess I know that if there's a physical problem it can be fixed, but at the same time, I don't know if I'm read to accept that aswell. I'm feeling overwhelemed by it all! 😞
Neg: Just feeling really flat today and like nothing feels good. I kind of just want to go for a long drive and be alone awa from people. But I don't know where to go. I wanted to go for a walk, but it's been so wet and raining ouside, I've been scared to... 😞 I feel helpless
Pos: I've tried to pump my exercise bll up, maybe I can do some of that tonight, or if that fails, I can do 20mins of yoga stretches to ease my mind a little. At least my floor is clean for some yoga 😛 haha
Good to hear you are making progress. Slow progress is better than no progress right. 🙂 I'm sorry to hear you are sick 😞 ( I can totally relate, I'm sicky too) hope you get well soon. When you do get well hopefully you wont be as exhausted and overwhelmed. One less problem.
thanks @ruenhonx Yes slow progress is better than none! Yeah I'm having trouble kicking this infection, second dose of antibiotics 😞 But the gp said that's likely because of my low iron levels (one of the things he allured to about my bloods...) Yep it will be one less thing to stress about, right now there is so much on my mind, it's crazy! But I'll get through it, eventually.
Neg: Part of me thinks that the psychiatrist apt today was a bit of a waste of time, I also felt reallybad during and after. It's horrible. 😞
Pos: She listend to what little I said. She WAS understanding that I was nerveous! She took the time to explain things and make sure I was ok. I know it wil take time to get things right, she's only new to my case! She won't know it all right away.
Neg: Felt really bad afterwards, detached from life really. Didn't want to go home, but didn't want to go anywhere. Really just wanted to be alone from everyone and everything. Feeling bad still.
Pos: I took some time and drove around town, I went home for a breather before going to my hair apt with mum.
Neg: Felt really detached in my hair apt. Like I just couldn't care. I nearly cancelled it I was feeling that bad. 😞
Pos: I went hrough with it, I got my hair cut, and feels much better. (But why can't I appreciate that?)
Neg: Haven't felt motivated to do anything. Have just bumbed around on Netflix again today. Didn't find the motivation to even go for a walk. So lost in life.
Pos: I'm managing to get through each day safely, I'm working on achieveing things?
Neg: Feeling really lost as to where I am and what I'm actually attempting to do. I just want to give up...
Pos: I see my psychologist Tuesday, so at least that is soon. I can write it all down and give it to her, or email it through before hand I guess?
Neg: Everytime I've said that before I've been unable to follow through. Why is this different?
Pos: I Wil make the effort to get that done. Even if it means writting it over a few days and setting a daily reminder in my phone.
Neg: It all just feels so very hard right now. I feel like I've pushed everyone around me away. I feel like I don't matter, what's the use in trying? :'(
Pos: ??
Hey @Bee
Glad you could find most of the positives to your negs from your post on Thursday
Writing things down over a few days to chat about in your next appointment is a great idea and setting a daily phne reminder is a good way to make yourself do that! Even if in your appointment you have a list of dot points to go over it would probably help:)
Dont forget that while you feel like you arent doing much with your days or that you dont know where you are going or what your goals are, getting yourself better takes a lot of time and effort - dont forget that you are really doing an awesome job at that and that even when you think you arent doing much or progressing you probably are little by little:)
thanks @hartley_ I actually haven't written much down since then... Been so tired when I've wanted to. *sigh* But I guess that's important to let her know? A list of dot points could work. I'll try that for my next apt I think!
I guess so, I haven't really taken much thought into what I have achieved or how I've progressed... Except that since being on the medication I have had less extreme bad times like I used to get, it's taken the edge off it...
Neg: Still feeling rather sick. My chest hurts more often now, it's getting harder to do simple things - I'm easily loosing my breath and my chest feels tight. I can't really laugh without wheezing or coughing afterwards 😞 Feeling very over it. The cough's hurt more than ever and that's the bit I hate the most.
Pos: I'm still on antibiotics, if it hasn't healed by the end of this course I will go back to my gp and ask them what it is and the best way to treat it.
Neg: Feeling very self-conscious. Now that I've cut m hair it's all fluffly and yuk, especially after a wash. I only like the look of i straigtened, but don't have the energy to straighten it everyday! 😞
Pos: I can straighten it once really well and touch it up as need be to cut down on some time/energy.
Neg: I kinda knew this would happen though, and didn't think about it. But I love the shortness, it feels easier for me to manage right now... Maybe I can get used to straightening it more often? I have a good straightener for a reason..
Pos: I do enjoy my hair straightened, it's not hard for me to straighten it. More time consuming with the parting and my lack of experience / my difficult hair. I can do it if it will help me feel better about me. #self-care Right?
Neg: I keep opening the camera ap on my laptop with the short keys. Oh windows 8.1 how I do enjoy your simplicity sometimes... it's agravating me because I hate it. I dislike how I look when it shows me 😞 low self-esteem
Pos: I'm not opening it as much now, less than half a dozen times a day now as oppossed to every 10-20mins haha! Especially when typing LOL I CAN see the funny side of it. Also I'm learning windows 8.1 and my laptop's short keys haha
Neg: My phone is still driving me crazy, the screen doesn't like the slightest bit of moisture. It also has dramas when I'm trying to text
Pos: I've taken the screen protector off, I'll try that. I will try a few things before upgrading to a better model from the same family. I do quite like the HTC phone execpt for this one issue
I always hate my hair after a visit to the hairdressers @Bee. It usually takes me a week or two to work out how I like it after a new cut, and to let the fluffiness settle down. On the plus side, you can Pinterest the hell out of new ways to do your hair now it's shorter 🙂
@Bee this flu sounds like the worst! are you able to take some time off work and rest like all day for a week!? sounds like your body needs some deeeeep rest!
I have shoulder length hair that only looks good straightened too! If idont it flicks in or out and looks just plain silly haha brady bunch style. I found if i straighten it well after washing then the next few days i can do a quick straighten of the ends. Might be different for diff types of hair but could always give it a few flick throughs with the straightener and see how you go!
@hartley_ Yep it's the worst! I'm barely working anyways, so no point in taking time off, I'll get through, it's a helpful distraction right now!
I like the length, my hair just doesn't like being that short haha. It should settle down eventually (hopefully lol) But I find with my hair if I straighten it properly the first time, I only need to brush it for it to look half straitened, so that's good. Cuts down on some time I guess 🙂 It also goes fluffy because of how I sleep and toss and turn lol
@ElleBelle I'm the opposite, I love my hair after coming out fo the hairdressers, if only I could make my hair look like that everyday! lol Yes! OMG pinterest time! However I'm a fail at hair stuff that's anything other than the simple basics haha. But it's still long compared to hair length! Just short for me lol. (Eg long for me was down to my waist and I still didn't think it was long! haha)
Neg: Haven't felt the best recently, have been so up and down it's crazy. I'm feeling so unsure of myself and what it actually going on. I'm just so lost and confused.
Pos: I'm working on it all. Being sick and run down and tired doesn't help my mental processes any. I think an epic journalling session might help me work through some stuff.
Neg: Part of me wants to find some lego, curl up with a blanket and build like a child. If only that was acceptable in adult society. I used to have the best time with lego as a child. The alternate worlds I'd create!
Pos: There's nothing stopping me from finding some lego and building. I just don't know where to actually look, let alone if it's still around, it's probably been chucked already!
Neg: I got really upset with myself the other day because things I wanted to tell my psych I didn't. I simply just didn't bring tem up or allow it. I also got upset because I found myself not letting myself answer her questions and talk to her about anything. I got upset with myself because I shut my thoughts out, I tuned out and refused to let any of them come to the surface. I know in the long term these excercises and stuff we're going through will help me but I think part of me is still just very scared to start digging... I'm so relucant and I'm not sure I fully understand why I pull the reigns in and dig my heels into the ground. What am I so scared of? Why can't I just let myself trust her?
Pos: I got upset with myself because despite continually telling myself it will be ok, I still freak out. I know there is nothing to be scared of, the way I still keep closing off irritates me. I am going to send this as an email to her now and hopefully we can work through it together
Neg: I got extremely overwhelmed the other night and entered a really bad place. I ended up self-harming again. I had all these crazy thoughts in my head, and I couldn't find anything to latch onto. Part of me just wanted to end it all to run away, I felt so bad..
Pos: I managed to journal the thoughts before hand so maybe I can revisit that with my psych? It will give her an example of some of someof the thoughts circling my mind at times..
Neg: Part of me is feeling quiet unstable still. The meds have taken the edge of the low's, and I've not fallen as low as frequently as I was before starting them, and the lows aren't as severe as before, but overall, I'm still feeling much the same. I'm just really stuck within it all. I kinda don't know where to turn anymore... 😞
Pos: I know this is stuff I need to bring up with my health professionals. It's useful for my psych, but my gp and psychiatist NEED to know this to help get me on the right medication! (But why do I feel so scared to bring this up?)
Neg: I still have no desire to do anything. No motivation to get anything done. I feel so exhausted, so lost, so disengaged in life. Part of me just wants to glue the facade down and stop trying to take it off. It all feels too hard.
Pos: I know I'm better off withou the facade in the long run. I'm trying to understand why I feel so bad under the facade. One day I won't have to life live with a facade at all. One day.
Neg: ^ That just gave me a creative idea for an art piece, but I don't have the enegy, and I'm too scaredto try unless it doesn't come out like I'd envissioned and I beat myself up over it.
Pos: I can do my best. I need to try something, maybe it might be the connection I need right now? I'll do that instead of emailing my psych, the email can wait for now. ...
Hey @Bee - great to see you work through things and try and change your perspective on things but remember our agreement about balancing the negs and positives - this one is tipping slightly in the negative direction and I just want to make sure that this thread isn't an opportunity to indulge negative thinking.
The point of it is to challenge negative thinking and change your perspective. So I hope you find that you are getting that benefit? I'd like to ask what you think about trialling for one week to reducing the length of you posts in this thread?To see if that has an impact on your negative thinking. Do you think you could either:
Summarise what's going on into 1 or 2 neg to positives per post OR reduce it to one line each per negative and positive?
Just for a week to see if it makes a difference?
@Sophie-RO Yes I do remember, honestly I totally forgot and didn't stop to think. Will try to be more aware. I do get a benefit from this thread. Ooh a challenge? I'm up for it. I choose 1 or 2 negs per post.
Neg: Was anxious about going to work today, I'm finding the large gaps between shifts hard to cope with sometimes as I feel out of routine. I've also seen the 3rd roster and panicked a little with the amount of work I have been given, part of me wants to run and curl up in a ball isolating myself.
Pos: I managed to get through my shift and in the end felt okay within myself. I know the way I initially reacted was because I've noticed myself feeling unsure how to adjust to the roster changes right now. I also know I panicked a little because it's nearly tripple the amount of work I've had the last couple weeks. I am reminding myself that this is what I HAVE asked for, and also reminding myself that while at work I need to maintain a certain level of awareness to my surroundings, it will give me a good distraction from my thoughts and hopefully will have a flow on effect of being more able ot talk about whats going on with my psych (I reach that conclusion because I tend to follow a path, if I've been at work heaps and around people a lot and feeling ok, I'm more likely to be more talkitive and positive in my outlook, rather than if I've issolated myself I usually don't tend to talk very much)
I saw this and for me it EXACTLY encapsulates what this thread is all about!
@Bee that was a great challange to your negative there ^^^ 😄
Being able to talk to your psych after having talking practice at work makes sense and is great ! 🙂
Im excited to see what positive changes the extra shifts will bring for you !
Not to mention you will earn some more money! Maybe you can treat yourself at the end of the week or after your appointment ? A little something maybe ? 🙂 🙂 🙂
@hartley_ thanks. I'm looking forward to working a bit more, gives me something to do with my time!
I've just bought myself a camera so I'm going to get back into my photography a bit I think, it's actually better than I thought it was, thanks to my local buy swap and sell facebook page! 🙂
@Sophie-RO 🙂 thank you. I'm happy to give things a try, it's part of recovery right?
Ps. I LOVE that minion post! Going to save that to print and put up somewhere!
@N1ghtW1ng I got so sick of my long hair and cut it, it's only just longer than shoulder length now, and although I have o regularly straighten it to keep it looking nice, I love it being shorter and I love the length. I had a thought the other day about missing my long hair seeing how long and beautiful a colleagues hair is, but I reminded myself of how mine was always crazy and out of control, I reminded myself how much easier it is for me to maintain now and I was happy with it. And even tho it's shorter, it still takes forever to dry haha
Neg: Am feeling rather lost in the seeking help process right now. I have my second psychiatrist apt tomorrow, and am kinda just wanting to cancel it/ignore it. I'm kinda feeling a little upset that I've not improved any yet. I redid some surveys with my psychologist and she said it was about the same. That hurt. I'm also just feeling so overwhelmed with having to always lie to mum about where I am going and why I'm not wanting her to come with.. I'm running out of stamina to keep it up. I know I need to address it, but I'm just so scared and I'm so overwhelmed. I think I'm more scared of her reaction, or what she'll think "will she blame herself?" more than anything. I'm scared of questions....
Pos: From my last email, my psychologist helped me identify some questions to ask the psychiatrist, and gave me an answer to one by getting me to complete the same questionaires I did when I first saw her. She said my questions were all relevent and on track, I should be asking them. Which was a relief and I felt grateful for having sent the email. I do have another few weeks on this dose of medication before some more investigating needs doing about them, but it's still worth bringing up with the psychiatrist - she needs to know, and as my psychologist said she's the one who can prescribe what I need and should know. I think I might need to address this with my psychologist before progressing. I think I just need to talk it over. I'll get there with time. One step at a time.
I think another positive to consider @Bee is that it's only your second appointment with this psychiatrist. You've previously discussed some positives from the psychologist appointments, so it's not like there has been zero improvement, or that you've gone backwards. Sometimes progress is measured in centimeters, but it's all progress just the same.
But I guess what I need to take from it, is that my progress has been in letting people and starting to learn to trust them.. I know it's going to take a lot of time to get better, it's just frustrating, and more so that I am still so frustrated within myself about hiding from everyone around me.
Neg: Tried writting out and challenging negative thoughts from today's psychiatrist apt, but in reality I just can't see enough positives. I keep feeling as though I'm just wasting people's time. Why even bother? I'm so frustrated within myself. 😞
Pos: I turned up to the apt, which the psychiatrist was pleased with after she heard my cough. My GP reminded me after that they are there to help me....
Neg: Just feeling really crappy about it all
Pos: I showed up. I answered questions. I tried my best.
I managed to text my psychologist after and let her know about the change in medication and the decided plan of action. It's in writing in my phone for future reference. She let me know that these things take time to sort out.
pos: i will be able ot take my meds when i get on board, hopefully ill get some sleep and the flight will be snoother. i just have to remember to breathe and coming on RO is also helping me calm down a bit. it will be worth it when i arrive in europe and have an awesome holiday
Neg: friend had to work Kate last night so we couldn't catch up
Pos: fell asleep at 9:30 so I got a good night sleep, and I would have been tired all night if I went out
Pos: I Know the feelings and thoughts came on after a negative self-talk session I had after trying some Zentangle drawing my psychiatrist recommended, and only continued after trying some colouring in. I know the thoughts are only temporary. I know I will get through this, it's just really hard. Nothing I can do now about forgetting them.
Thanks @Kit
Neg: Finding things incredibly difficult. Feeling so lost in life right now. Now even sure where to turn. I don't know how much more I can stand it's all just too hard 😞 I just want to scream. I kind of feel like I'm in a never ending nightmare running though a dark forest and only finding tipping hazards, but no place to hide....
Pos: I know it's a slow road to recovery, I'm trying my best to enjoy things. Today I managed a short walk up the road to take some photos. I'm slowly beginning to develop an interest and desire to re-learn all the things I forgot about photography... In the mean time, it's all absed on trial & error, and it's producing some adequate shots which are nearing that of a family relitive, who's are incredible! (he came in top 100 for one comp he entered recently!)
Neg: Feeling like I'm just not enough. So many thoughts of self-doubt and self-loathing are circling my head right now. I'm really just struggling. Wanting to just surender. 😞
Pos: I'm unable to find much of a positive for this one. I am so stuck. And feeling so bad right now. I think I need some help *clicks yellow emergeny link*
hey @Bee
how are you going?
Im so happy to hear you not only noticed but took action when you felt things were getting a bit much
You are awesome, you know that? 🙂
You know what, you should start a photography thread!
Maybe we could do a different theme every week and make it like the art challange we had?
Id love to see your photos
There is a lake near my old house that id take the dog too and I found so many cool things to photograph