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Turning Negatives Into Positives
At the suggestion of Lightuptheworld, I thought I'd start another 'Turning Negatives into Positives' thread like there is on the old forum. Below is a quote from Antria who started the thread on the previous forum which I think explains the idea of the thread quite well.
"Sometimes it can be helpful to turn our thinking around and begin to challenge the way we look at things. Turning negatives into positives is a way of doing this! Basically, think of something that happened today, this week, this month or at some other time that felt negative and see if you can find a positive in it (or that came out of it)."
I find posting in this thread really helps me to look at things in a different way or see positives that I might not have noticed if I'm in a negative headspace. I'll start the ball rolling:
Negative: My friend didn't turn up to class this morning and I was worried I would be alone because I don't really know anyone else in the class.
Positive: It gave me a chance to sit with new people and get to know them better 🙂
Over to you!
Hey @redhead, I'm sorry that you had such a bad time on the flight. I can definitely relate, I've had a lot of difficulty with flying in the past (especially longer flights) but you've got it right when you said that after it's done you're going to have an awesome time in Europe to look forward to. Have a great trip!
Positive: I will be back soon, and I'll be living with my parents, maybe it will be a little bit easier having them in Australia. I've been living alone for a while, and I haven't been feeling particularly stable. I guess I need people around me.
Neg: Where did my love of exersise go? I've wanted the time to do it and now I do have time, I don't want to! How does that work????
Pos: Just because I'm not being obsessive about the length/pace, doesn't mean I don't love it. I started slowly in the beginning to build myself up and I'll do the same now. Pushing myself too hard willl only result in injury
@Shadow good thinking! You definitely don't want to over exert yourself when getting back into training/exercise.
I find that getting back into a routine with training is the hardest part, but once you start to exercise regularly it gets easier. Getting motivated to go to the gym/for a run/etc on cold winter nights can be really tough too. Especially when there's a warm couch and food at home!
Stick with it and ease yourself back into a routine that you enjoy!
Hey @Bee, I hope you've had a good start to your week!
Your positives from your last post showed once again that trademark Bee strength and determination!
I think it's a great idea to write down those feelings and take them into your next appointment. Hopefully you'll be able to schedule one soon!
I was especially impressed with the last positive in your post about how you should give it time to build a relationship with your psych. It's important for you not to feel pressured in your appointments and to feel comfortable with opening up, which you've already made great strides towards!
Proud of you Bee!
Positive: it doesn't have to akr complete sense, I got through it without self harming and I also got the help I needed. I'm proud of how I handle it despite how scared and confused I was
Negative: I didn't feel I could talk to my therapist about it all. I just wanted to push it under the carpet and move on.
Positive: we ended up talking about how I try to cover my feelings and experiences and pretend everything is fine until I explode. Another positive is that I see my psychiatrist on Wednesday and will feel more comfortable talking to him about it.
Negative: my casemanager is away for the next few weeks so I don't have the extra support. I really needed her today and ended up taking myself to DEM because I couldn't cope and had no one to talk to.
Positive: its only a few weeks. And I do have regular visits with my therapist and psychiatrist in the mean time. And there is always crisis lines or hospital if things get too out of control.
@redhead good on you, those are some really great ones. And yes, you should absolutely be proud of yourself! Keep hanging in there and being brave, you're doing an awesome job. If you do slip that's okay, we can always rebuild and move forward
@lanejane your post made me smile! 🙂
@Sophie-RO yeah is a bit. I'm noticing though, that in those crisis points, there really isn't anything I can do except let time pass, so it becomes movie time, or marathon time. It's the easiest way to get through them safely. But yes I will try to remember that!
Neg: My car was attaked again today! And there isn't anything the police can do because I don't have any evidence, yet I'm pretty ure who it is. 😞 These targetted attaks aren't helping me emotionally any!
Pos: I reported it. I was told ot keep a diary and keep reporting them. I just need some evidence of her. Eiher photo or video, or someone sayin it as her...
Neg: When texting a class member today, was starting to feel frustrated with the conversation, I felt like I was practically givinge her my answers, yet she still didn't understand. Despite my help, she posted in our facebook group asking for help. I felt kinda stupid for even trying, when it didn't feel like she was really listening to me.
Pos: I tried. That's all I need to remember, is I did my best. Texting isn't the greatest way to work on assessments with others. I really just need to focus on me and not worry too much about others.
Neg: Felt really anxious when my phone went off alerting me of a new email. After looking at my phone the nerves just became more intense. Reading the email, initially, was kinda hard. Yet now it doesn't have that strong emotional response. Why do I get such a strong emotional response when I get such emails? Why do I start to fret every time my phone goes off?
Pos: Said email was Eheadspace letting me know they got in touch with the psych today. Hopefully it will make the initial apt a little easier. I know the emotional response is a sense of anxiety with not knowing why or who is trying to contact me. It's managable at least
Neg: Part of me feels even more nervous to see the psych next week now that she knows a bit about me and some of what I've been going through.
Pos: I got Eheadspace to do this to help me, so I wouldn't have to start from ground 0. I will get through it.
Let's try and keep the positives and negatives balanced folks... If you explore your negative in great detail then explore your positive in just as much detail. It's not really the point of this thread to have an opportunity to ruminate on everything that is going wrong - you need to also focus just as much about everything that is going right.
For example instead of just saying "I'm trying". explore that and write it out in detail - what are trying? how often? where and when? how does it make you feel?
The other option you have, is to explore your negative in less detail - if you can't match it with the same amount of depth in your positive.
Make sense? Hit me up if it's not clear! This isn't a big deal but I just to try and be active in make sure everyone is feeling safe and supported
Positive: I've made it through in the past, it means I am capable. I can try to take the edge off by relaxing by e.g. praying and breathing.
Positive: At least I feel a bit better now compared to before. I still have time to work on it, maybe I need to take regular breaks in between to ease it off.
Negative: I'm so sick of being depressed.
Positive: I've made it through in the past, I can do it now. I need to focus on now, and maybe I need to do something to take my mind off this all like reading a novel.
Positive: I need to keep holding on. There's still hope for me. I just need to make sure I reach out when I feel like things are getting way too intense.
Hey @Creativegirl12,
I just replied to your other thread, but I saw this one and I wanted to check in with you. You mentioned giving up on life. Are you thinking about suicide? If you are, I need you to call someone right now. Lifeline is 13 11 14. I want to make sure you are safe.
Do you have a plan for keeping yourself safe tonight?
blithe
Neg: Long day, super tired, work was shit by the end of it. Too many things pissed me off. Feeling fragile.
Pos: I'm home now, trying to relax. forget about the shit
Neg: I feel like I'm the only one who gets the long shifts, I feel like the expectations set for me are too high for me to meet, I'm floundering, not even feeling able to show up to work tomorrow! 😞 Part of me doesn't want to, I'm just too mentally and physically exhausted. But I feel like no one takes me seriously! 😞
Pos: I guess it means I'm reliable and stuff if I get the long ones. Tomorrow will take care of itself.
Neg: Get home, no one has done anything for tea (Typical) and no one cares to say hello as I walk home. Gee thanks guys. And I ask if my clothes can be brought in (like 6 items) and I get "oh do it yourself. You never help me" WHAT a load of F BS! I bust my guts and thats what I get. Wow. Great family I've got huh? Maybe I should just runaway and join the circus?
Pos: ???
Neg: Have no compassion for myself right now. Feeling like going on a binge. Feeling like Self Harming. Right now it's taking every strength to land myself there.
Pos: I'm trying to fight it.
Neg: Have felt extremely anxious all day today, and I haven't the slightest clue. Just pure anxiety, it pretty much brouht me to tears evrey hour! 😮 😞 Having to fight so hard to not let the tears fall, especially infront of customers. :'(
Pos: I did it. I managed to stay strong. But now when I want to just let it out, I can't. GRR
Neg: Feeling really crappy again tonight, wanting to just drink the sorrows away. The urge is quite strong tbh 😕
Pos: I'm going to practice some self-care and take myself to bed, thus emilinating the second part of the above. Sources have all shut by now anyway, further emilinating that risk right now.
Neg: Read over some past stuff tonight, which probably wasn't the best thing to do considering I already felt like sh*t. Feeling like I've not made any progress in the last 4 years! 😞 I'm still that shy scared little girl hiding herself away from the world. Nothing will ever change. I just keep going aroudn in ******* circles.!
Pos: I'm trying?
Neg: So many things today hurt me like yesterday. I honestly don't know where to turn anymore.
Pos: Today was at least a tiny bit better than yesterday
Neg: Feeling really at risk tonight. Not sure how, not sure why. Not sure of anything at this point. Absolutely dreading tomorrow. dreading having to face people tomorrow. If only....
Pos: I am going to bed. NOthing in reach to hurt myself. I will make every effort to stay safe. Tomorrow will take care of itself.
Neg: Got called into work today and I said yes, kinda wondering whether part of me said yes to avoid my eheadspace apt this arvo. *sigh* I don't think it was worth it though, because I didn't have a very good day! 😕 *sigh*
Pos: Eheadspace was understanding (as always) that I had to cancell again. I did have a couple good interactions with customers!
Neg: I'm really starting to question why I always put this second to none, why is it that I will take any oppourtunity to get out of dealing with this that I can? Why can't I just get through it!?
Pos: I'm trying.
Neg: In writing that, I just went to the clinic's website I've been looking at and made that apt!
Pos: I MADE THE APPOINTMENT!!! I am going to write down what I want to tell the gp on Monday. Including a screenshot of a section of a reply from eheadspace.
Neg: I'm feeling a little numb but anxious. Ergh.
Pos: I know I need to do this. Going to try and not freak out about this!
Neg: Feeling really overwhelmed and a little triggered. Not even sure about what or why.
Pos: I'm looking after me, having a semi relaxing day
Neg: I'm kinda worried about Monday, Both my parents' cars are booked in to be fixed and I'll be the only one with a car and I've got TAFE and my DRs apt. And I'm scared dad will want my car for the day. But I don't want to say why I need my car then.
Pos: I can offer to drive them and just say that I need it and not give an explanation. Besides they have mum's car until 2 (even if the ABS break light is on... ergh)
Neg: I'm stressing out about it. I'm so overwhelmed. I'm so nervous, and I'm scared!
Pos: If I can't have my car I can still walk! Yeah it's a long walk, but I think it'll be fine, or I can get a friend to drop me off in time for my apt and walk back to TAFE.
Neg: Just really unsure on everything right now. Feeling so very lost. Confused. I don't know.
Pos: I'm getting there. I just need to take it one moment at a time and I'll be fine!
Neg: The more I think about the Dr's apt, the more scared I feel, there's so many what if's and thoughts running through my head I don't know what to think anymore. I'm so lost. I need to talk to someone about it, but I feel as though there is no one. I feel like I've just issolated myself from everyone in my life. And I've just become this person living under a facade which really holds no answers to anything 😕
Pos: I can do this! I've started an intro to give to the GP if I get stuck. I just need to finish it and save it in my phone.
Neg: I don't know HOW much I should share with the GP, I don't even know if she'll take me seriously. Part of me is so close to giving up it's not funny.
Pos: I know I'm in a vulnerable space right now. I have to at least try. I owe it to myself to try. "if not now, when?"
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