Not sure what to do
Hi guys,
I'm new on here and just thought to try give it a go..
I'm struggling with alot of different things atm and feel like I'm starting to really lose my mind.
I've recently moved and started uni in a place I don't know anyone so feeling pretty alone.
I finally worked up the courage to see a psychologist but am worried I'm getting too attached to her because every time something good or bad happens she's the one I want to tell!! But then I also really struggle to tell her when I'm not okay because she is working really hard with me and I don't want to let her down so I'm scared to tell her the truth...
Any suggestions? Or is there anyone that's had a similar experience when seeing a psychologist? I just feel really stupid and pathetic for wanting to talk to her all the time but then also not being able to tell her things!?!?
I definitely get you with the worrying. I used to be an extreme worrier. Over the smallest things, I’d make myself almost sick. But I heard that little mantra from somebody and I wrote it down. I then read it slowly about 10 times and spent some time really thinking about it. And I was like “OMG! That is actually so true!” So the next time something came up, I just reminded myself of that and it definitely brought the levels down. Now it’s just a habit that when I immediately react to something, that mantra pops into my head. It was by no means a quick process but over time (5 years), I’m now down to almost 0 worry about anything! 😛
I think it’s about recognizing the steps. Even a small amount of progress needs to be rewarded.
Regarding the psych referring you on; looking back, I’m so glad that my initial psych did. Because if I had of stayed with her, I wouldn’t have gotten the best support I needed. Things would have been slower to improve and for the both of us, it was best. She was out of her depth and I needed a different sort of focus. Having her tell me relatively early on also helped with the whole separation as well. I was upset and didn’t want to tell her for fear of this, but she outright said that if I’m not honest, I won’t get the best care (from her or someone else) and may end up in hospital for example.
Regarding new psychs, they will always refer you on and set you up with someone. Someone mentioned it (I forget who) that they have that duty of care and they can’t just leave and not tell you or pass you along to someone else.
They may also pass you to your GP who may have better psyc contacts as well.
Every time I changed, I got to have an initial one or two sessions as a sort of assessment to see if they might be able to help and if I liked them (remember it’s a two-way thing). For some of them ie. when leaving hospital, the old one would sit in with the new one to help this out. But when not in hospital, they may either overlap or start like the week or two after one has left. But they’ll always tell you about the helplines that’s are there if that two week gap is too long or recommend a Uni counsellor etc.
Regarding the gifts, I tend to think that a) I don’t really know them so what would I buy anyway and I’ll save my money haha.
B) A simple thank you card actually goes a lot further than a gift and it’s up to them whether they keep that or not, but it won’t be something they refuse Upfront like they might with a gift (although unlikely).
And c) it is their job really and I guess you don’t really buy gifts for your dentist or GP etc. I know it’s a bit different as you seem them frequently and they know more personal details, but that’s what they get paid for 🙂
Having said that, I did get one of mine a gift because they went above and beyond. I was living in this place and was seeing them daily for about a year, so it was a looser sort of relationship.
But I think a card is both thoughtful and safe and shows your appreciation really well.
You’ll get there! It just takes time and practice. That switch may be one that slowly flicks and it may not even happen with this psych. Or it could be something you see on your own!
Just remember that they can’t do their job if you’re not telling them everything. 😃
Give yourself a break and reward those steps (such as speaking out on here).
let me
know if you have any other questions or need clarification etc.
have a good one!
Thanks @Alison5 ❤
I really do appreciate you being so open about your personal experiences because it makes me feel like there is hope for me yet!! If you used to worry to the point where it made you sick (where I am now) and you've made it to where you are now, that is just a HUGE motivator for me because I love your outlook on things and really hope to share the same thoughts one day!! But thanks for letting me know it took a few years because I'm really struggling with it atm. I get so angry and frustrated with myself that things aren't fixed yet. I'm quite the perfectionist and 'high achiever' so when things don't work out as I thought they might or in the timeframes I thought they would I really struggle to accept it. My psych has finally got me believing her when she says 'therapy is not a linear process' so I'm SLOWLY getting there I think 😂
Honestly, thankyou so much for your reply!!! I re-read it as I reply to each part and I just don't know what to say. Everything you said has been SO helpful and I can't thank you enough for taking the time out to respond to all of my questions, I really do appreciate it ❤
I love that you're able to kind of narrow it down and see your psych the same as your GP or dentist. I had never thought of it that way but I guess that's totally true. I have my last session of the year tomorrow with my psych before I head home for the break so have got her a card and some chocolates. I also got the same for the other psych that steps in when mine is away and also the guy that works on the desk cause he has helped me through a couple things when both my psychs were off sick and I just appreciate that he is totally normal and non-judgemental when I walk into the office. So I just wanted to somehow show them that even though I'm hard to work with I really am appreciative of their time!! I wasn't sure what to get or if I should so I posted on here a week or so ago and most people thought a card was best and then I felt weird just giving a card so am hoping they'll be able to accept chocolates.. SURELY!!! They've gotta be animals if they don't accept chocolate right..?!?! 😂
This stood out for me big time the first time I read it, and even moreso the second time: "Just remember that they can’t do their job if you’re not telling them everything". I hadn't thought of that before and think it's something I really needed to hear right now so thankyou. I think I'm even gonna write this one out and stick it on my wall or something as a little reminder, or maybe in my folder actually with all the homework stuff she gives me. I'm pretty great at keeping things hidden to myself and pretending everything is okay but that statement has made me really stop and think because I want my psych to be able to do her job and feel like she's getting somewhere with me and I guess that's not gonna happen unless I start to open up properly.. so thanks ❤ Your advice really is amazing!!
I do have one more question actually and then I'll try and hold off on the novels for a bit 🙃 But did you ever feel super overwhelmed with all the strategies and homework things your psych was giving you? Assuming that she was giving them to you? Like idk. I can't seem to keep up sometimes. I'm meant to have filled out some progress sheet thingos for tomorrow but between work and not being well I haven't had the time or energy and I feel so guilty. I tried to sit down and work on them tonight but my brain won't let me and after the day I've had it's just making me feel even worse. I've decided to just leave it because of how it's making me feel but I feel so guilty for not having it done!! Sometimes I just feel really stupid and pathetic for needing to even do them in the first place and then it's like my brain won't allow me to even try with it? Idk. Bit of a random one, I'm just scared to tell her tomorrow that I haven't done any of it this week because I don't want to let her down with all the effort she's putting in 😔 @Bee you might also have some advice on this idk.. you two are two of the greatest advice givers and if you haven't met and had a chat I think you should cause you both write and sound so similar! So full of insight and wisdom that you're willing to share with others so thankyou!! ❤
Thanks again for your message @Alison5 and taking the time to respond to my thousand and one questions!! 😂
@MB95(sorry it's taken me a while to respond, so many posts and it's just been overwhelming to read through all of them to see what I can add to help but this question is one I wanted to respond to 😛 )
Feeling overwhelmed with strategies and homework things from psych.
I have been here many times before, and sometimes I still end up in that space (like now for example). For me when I was doing lots of external homework for my psych sessions it was really hard to do them and practice the coping techniques and put the effort in. And I got to the point where mid one break down I really needed one of the techniques which I knew about but wasn't familiar with and my brain kind of went well you made this way harder than it had to be for yourself, and that experience kind of pushed me to practice a wider range or coping mechanisms. It helped me learn to cope with intense emotions and get through them safely.
One piece of advice I have is to pick the easiest one and try it, even if it's for a minute or two and that's all you can manage, then come back the next day or later that day if you're up to it, and try again. I found that working on one coping strategy/coping technique at a time, allowed my brain to store it in a place I could access and use when needed. And remember the old adage, "Rome wasn't built in a day" progress takes time 
Edit: was going through my email tags and foud one I hadn't responded to which I thought I had. I had started than stopped... but here is my part response from your sag on sunday talking about showing things to your psych you've written...
haha I do the same thing, often rewrite things to condense them down, so very often I do it here, or else I’d be writing page long posts every single reply 
My psych does read it all in the session if it’s something I’m handing her, if I’ve emailed it and she’s had time she will skim through to the important parts she wanted to ask ore about and will always ask what I want to talk more about in session. I used to feel really anxious about it, and if it’s something I struggle to talk about, sometimes I feel anxious, but that’s when I use breathing exercises, grounding techniques and my tangle. And my psych has gotten to know me now to know when I’m using them.
In regard to your psych reading them, I think the best thing is to ask her if your not sure whether she read the whole thing or skimmed it.
Feeling like you have no right to feel upset and depressed is such a hard feeling to overcome.
I have been there where I’ve felt like there is so much I wanted to share. For me what I have found beneficial for me is dot pointing everything down that I want to talk about and ordering them in order of most important at the top, that way I don’t try to avoid the stuff I really want to talk about, and often by the end of the session some of the bottom things I feel like they either get accidentally touched on, or I feel supported enough to leave them out or cope on my own.
Ps. sorry this is now a novel!
Hey @Bee,
Please don't apologize!! I totally understand that everyone has their own shit going on and appreciate that we'll all get back to eachother eventually when the time is right 😊 I've also been finding this quite overwhealming as I didn't realise how supportive people were on here, so trying to keep up and then also read other peoples posts to help them is not an easy task! Especially when trying to physically balance it with your own mental wellbeing..
I appreciate you sharing your experiences and advice regarding the homework. I totally get it when you say it can be hard to put the effort in.. some days I plan to do it but it's like I do everything in my power to avoid it. Some days I'll even just lay in bed thinking about how I should be doing it but just don't have the physical or mental strength to do it.. and it sucks and I always feel so guilty about it. Like you though, I think I learnt the hard way a couple weeks ago during my exam when I had a huge melt down and had to take a break. I knew my psych had given me a tonne of techniques but because I hadn't practiced any of them like I was meant to it was as if my brain just went to mush and I went into full panic mode. It sucked. So I'm going to use this break to try and catch up on everything she's given me so I can hopefully start fresh next year!!
Thanks for all your other tips regarding communicating during therapy sessions ❤ I often try to keep a small list in my phone of a few things I've struggled with during the week and want to bring up and then I'll read it quickly before I go in.
But guess what!?!? I totally forgot to mention this... @Bee @Alison5 @Eden1717 - I finally gave my psych the first thing I'd written out for her that I wanted to tell her in session but couldn't bring up!! I had planned to give it to her first thing but we got completely distracted and into things right away and like the last time, I couldn't seem to bring it up with her.. we had actually finished our session and were out in reception booking my appointment for the new year when I decided I wasn't going to let myself leave without giving it to her. So I asked her for 2 more minutes of her time and we went into her office and I gave it to her!! I was shaking like crazy and felt like a complete idiot but I gave it to her and bolted outta there 😂 She emailed me later about something else but thanked me in the email for being open and honest with her and that she appreciated the little letter. So thank you guys!! It's because of your support that I was able to push through and give it to her!! I remember saying to myself as I was standing in reception that I needed to give it to her because I wanted to be able to share the achievement with you guys!! So thanks! I feel like writing is going to play a HUGE role in my psych sessions next year 😊 Soooo much easier!! 😂😂
@MB95 I feel you! I often feel so warmed by the level of support users give each other! There’s so much to read and chat about, it’s definitely a challenging task to know where people are up to, but that’s why we have a large team of staff, mod squad, and volunteer mods such as myself and our volunteer builder team!
I hope you’re able to work through some of the techniques and find what helps you best. 🙂
I’m SO VERY PROUD OF YOU FOR GIVING HER THE THING YOU’D WRITTEN! It’s super nice that she emailed you and thanked you for the writing.
This was something like my reaction:
(Okay the grinch feels a little creepy, but I totally don't mean it to be creepy ahaha, it's the most relevant smile gif I can find ahaha)
I’m pleased to hear that even one thing has been helpful.
Regarding the chocolates and cards, I think that’s a great idea and you’re right, who wouldn’t accept chocolate! 😂 And doesn’t everyone love to feel appreciated 👍🏼
I think just writing down that little phrase about letting the psych do her job is a good idea. It can help reinforce it until one day it will just be a habit to open up, knowing it’s for the best.
The homework! Yeah, I wasn’t a huge fan haha. It is often progress sheets or things you fill out everyday for a few weeks or similar. Honestly, yes, it is best to try and do them because I think they use them as sort of a piece of ‘hard evidence’. So they can keep it with their notes and maybe repeat that down the track and compare the two.
Their aim with this, is that you fill it out daily when that day has happened because they only speak to you once a week. And the day you see them, you may feel particularly down or better which could subconsciously make you overlook things from the other days in the week. I hope that sort of makes sense?
So basically, if you can push through and fill it out, even just really basically or briefly when you’re meant to (instead of all of it, the day before) that is best and it will help them do their job if you can complete it properly.
I did used to get very overwhelmed and thought it was stupid and I didn’t need it, but then I realised that people do their jobs differently, and clearly the homework is something they find helpful to have. And I also realised that I was overwhelmed because I wouldn’t do it and then get all anxious and feel bad and do it quickly right before the appointment or not at all. It’s exactly the same as studying - if you do a tiny bit each day, it is so much more manageable. Just set a time (mine was right before bed), to do that little bit and then by your next visit, the whole thing will be done!
You could start by telling her that you’re now going to try and break it down and do a little bit each day, but for this week, it got a bit overwhelming and you were busy.
@Bee is so great. Always helps everyone too! 💜
I apologise for my essays too haha. But do feel free to ask any other questions (Un-related if you like too. I’ve got experience in most aspects of MH hahaha).
So as you know from my other thread @Alison5, I saw my psych yesterday for the last time before our 5wk break but guess what?! She accepted the chocolates which means she is not an animal! 😂😂 I could tell how appreciative they all were and was just so thankful they accepted them! I feel pretty stupid for getting so worked up and stressed about it now for no reason lol It was kinda weird giving it to her though, part of me also wanted to give her a massive hug (I'm quite the hugger) but then I realised that would probs be crossing some professional line but idk.. it was kind of weird and I got the impression she wanted to give me a hug too.. I didn't really know how to act so just left it. Have you ever given a psych a hug? And if so, how did they react?
Everything you said about the homework stuff totally makes sense.. as always with you!! 😊 I'm going to try my best to start being more on top of it. I think with uni and everything I was just far too overwhealmed so am going to try and use this holidays to catch up on everything she's given me and then start fresh next year by putting time aside each night like you suggested. Man, tomorrows job is going to be to re-read all of your messages and write down everything you've suggested so I can start implementing it for real!! I guess knowing that the homework will help her to do her job will help motivate me to do it because I didn't actually see it as being a tool for her. I just kinda saw it as being something to get me to think and acknowledge my thoughts and feelings which I already do everyday, I hadn't realised that it would help her so thanks for that insight!
When you say you have experience in most aspects of mental health do you mean through your own experiences or do you work/study in the field?
Hey @MB95
Just gotta say I totally get the hugging thing. I'm the type of person who naturally goes to give hugs and have to remember not to when there is a doctor/counsellor/professional that I really appreciate. It's lovely that they accepted the chocolates though 🙂 That would have made them feel nice.
How are you feeling today?
Hey @Bre-RO,
I'm so glad you can relate!! I really am a hugger, espcially when someone does something nice for me I find it's a way I show my appreciation (within reason obviously - I don't just hug anyone lol).
Living alone in a new town the past year I've barely had or given a hug and it is killing me!! I smothered my mum in them when I went home during uni break and am going to smother her in them again over Christmas 😂 But there's been a few times in session with my psych where all I want is a hug and for someone to tell me everything will be okay.. I don't know. It's weird and I feel so stupid for it but honestly, some days I just wish she wasn't my psych so I could give her a hug and it not be so awkward!!!
I've been okay today, I'm just so exhausted so spent all morning and arvo in bed and then just went to work tonight. Was a bit of a nothing day but I'm just trying to get through these next few days before I go home! My mood is pretty low at the moment because I'm so exhausted and just feel so alone here, but 6 more sleeps and I'll be surrounded by my family so it's all good! They'll be driving me insane in no time 😂😂
Thank you for asking through, I really appreciate it ❤
How was your day? Did you get up to anything exciting?
I’m so glad that your last session went well! And yes, chocolates was a great idea! ❤️
And I get you about the hugging. It can be weird to know, but I guess if you’re not sure, it’s probably best not to or if you're comfortable enough, you can just say “can I hug you goodbye?” Then you’ll know for sure.
When I left one of my psych’s for good, I did give them a hug (actually they gave me one), mind you, I’d seen her daily for a year so we were close I guess. I’m also not one for showing any affection so she was actually happy I did.
I can’t exactly remember, but I don’t think I did for one of the male’s I was seeing because I just thought he’d think that was weird (and I’m not a very young girl or anything). I think I just thanked him a lot and did mini bows and he shook my hand hahaha 😂 Awkward but also not really because he was nice and I think I managed to show him my appreciation.
I’ll be finishing up for good with this latest psych and I was actually wondering about getting him a gift with the card or if I shake his hand etc. So thanks for asking this, because now I can have a proper think! 🙏🏻 I might get him chocolates! 💜
But honestly, it’s just up to you what you feel like. But don’t beat yourself up over it. Like the gift ideas, it’s no big deal in the end 👍🏼
And yes, sorry, was not very clear on my experience side of things. Although it’s all from personal experience (ie I don’t strictly study it), I got so familiar with all the programs and therapy types etc. they used to get me to run the classes (esp. in group settings in hospital) 😂
I know that sounds really weird, and a bit sad now I think of it, but I had plenty of time to learn it all. 🤷🏼♀️😅
Hey @Alison5,
The first thing I want to acknowledge is how incredible it is that you were asked to run the therapy programs in hospital. I'm sorry but in absolutely no way is that weird or sad!!!! I think it's inspiring and a true reflection on what an amazing, strong, courageous, humble and caring person you are!!! Honestly, I could ramble on for days lol But seriously, that is something to be proud about so please don't ever feel you need to talk it down because I truly admire you for it. The fact that you were able to step up and lead others through your knowledge and experiences should be commended. Seriously, be proud!!! I find it's people who have lived through it themselves that make the real difference, not the ones with the piece of paper, because at least you can truly connect. Don't get me wrong, psychs are amazing too (like I couldn't fault mine) but I find I benefit just as much, if not more from talking to people such as yourself. So be proud in knowing you are helping change lives!!! ❤
Yeah I guess my anxiety just managed to turn it into a much bigger deal than what it actually was in the end lol I have decided that I'll give chocolates or something small each year for Christmas and then when we eventually finish up I'm gonna say screw it and just get her something nice because our relationship will be ending anyway. Speaking of which - when is your last session with your psych? If you feel like you want to get him something to go with the card I think chocolates is definately a safe bet! 😊 Please do keep me posted on what you decide and how it goes for you!!
Also, I was just wondering how you feel seeing a male psych being a female? Like do you find it different? I don't know, I just feel like I wouldn't have the confidence for it. And no way would I be able to give him a hug lol I always wonder what therapeutic relationships would be like with the opposite sex..
I agree about hearing things from people that have or are currently experiencing issues being helpful. Although, you'll find like 80% of Psychs have experienced mental health issues and was likely an influencing factor in their career choice. Which is also good because they do understand, they just may not share it in that professional setting.
So my last session is next week with my psych and I decided (with the help of my Mum) that a card and a nice, proper pen was something he might like. He's been so lovely and financially understanding that I decided he deserved even more than chocolates (plus he's a male and I don't know anything about him and so a pen is generic). 😛 I would actually love to give him a hug because he has been so kind and generous, but the whole vibe i've given him over the two years has been that I hate affection so he may just be like, "what the heck?!" and wouldn't expect it haha. And I don't want it to end awkwardly.
I'll probably just do my mini bows and one hundred thank you's hahaha 😃
Regarding seeing male psych's, I think out of the roughly 12 or so people i've seen, I think i've had around 4 or 5 males, so a fair few really. I'll definitely say it's different but it's also different every time you see any new psych. I don't know if it has anything to do with the gender, but I found it easier to say things without worrying about their response when speaking with a male. Perhaps it's that ingrained (not necessarily true) social construct that women are more responsive or sensitive or something. Idk, it's just a minor thing I did notice in that there was less over-thinking with the male psychs but I can't tell you why. It could also just be that I simply didn't get so worried anymore as time went on.
However, I didn't like to discuss romantic relationship issues with them. Even this one of two years, I either skimmed over things or had to really put on a brave face to tell him anything about it. I think that's because I feel embarrassed more than anything else and it's things I haven't even told my Mum!
If the chance arises or you are referred to a male in future, I definitely wouldn't let their gender put you off. It's something to try and just see how you go. They certainly won't be offended if you're reason to discontinue is because you feel a little uncomfortable him being a male (it happens all the time and for both genders).
It's an interesting topic really and I always thought i'd never speak to a male about it and yet here I am...
Yeah I guess that's true @Alison5, I just see my psych as really having her shit together so I guess I haven't really thought much about the fact that she's most likely dealt with similar situations in her own life!
I think the idea of a nice pen is brilliant!! Totally appropriate 😊 And I also think that if you really feel like you want to give him a hug then you should go for it! I can understand you don't want it to end awkwardly though because I'd be the same, maybe just wait and see how you're feeling on the day and take it from there? He might not find it awkward, he might actually appreciate it like your other psych you mentioned because it is so unexpected and out of the blue? Usually those types of hugs mean more to people because it means they've really managed to get through to you..? Try not to overthink it though! And make sure you let me know how you get on ❤
Yeah at the moment I cannot picture myself ever speaking to a male about things but only time will tell I guess.. thanks for sharing your outlook on it though! I do notice I am forever stressing about how my psych might react to something because she is so motherly so I guess that would be one less stress if I saw a male lol
Firstly, congratulations for giving your psych the letter! That is such an amazing achievement! and you should be proud and it’s a great way to end this years sessions.
Thanks for the advice with my own psych. I think I’ll see how I go on the day. But I’ve already decided that no matter what, I won’t get upset if I do or don’t. And yeah, that was my thought about me really showing how helpful he was given that I don’t normally hug people. But I’ll just see 😊
Hope you had a good day and you should be super proud of yourself. Also, don’t feel pressured to respond. I had like a year where I just didn’t respond and didn’t even sign in. There’s no time pressure and so feel free to take your time So you don’t get overwhelmed 👍🏼
I love the grinch gif @Bee - gave me the little laugh I needed! 😂
Thanks for being supportive about it guys and sharing my excitement. I know it's a pretty small thing but for some reason I struggled with it a lot so I appreciate you letting me share it with you both!
And I also appreciate what you said @Alison5. I don't feel pressured responding because I really enjoy connecting with people on here, espcially you two. Idk, I just find I can relate really easily to you both. But I think I am going to take a couple days break. I just feel like I'm going backwards at the moment and am really struggling to stay positive so don't want my messages to start sounding all negative on here because it's not fair on you guys to be reading them. I had a feeling this might happen as it often does. I was on such a high after seeing my psych on Wednesday but think everything is really starting to hit me now.. that I can't contact her for 5wks (I struggle with 1wk usually), and that I'm heading home soon which brings a whole lot of other challenge in itself. Plus my psych wants me to try open up to my parents about my struggles and I'm super stressed about that because I'm not sure I'm ready (or that they are either), but I also really don't wanna let my psych down..
Idk, I'm just feeling really numb and disconnected at the moment and I just wish it would end. I feel like every time I make one step in the right direction it's followed by a thousand steps in the wrong direction. And I'm just sick of it. It makes me really not want to bother with things anymore because I keep trying to put in all this hard work and then still just end up feeling like this anyway. It's just frustrating. And I don't mean to sound so negative because I am trying to keep going but it's just hard when I get to this point. Which is why I'm gonna take some time out and try sort myself 👍
But thanks for always being amazing you two! Hopefully I'll be back soon and more positive ❤
Looking back at it now, I have that same feeling as when I read your post! It just makes me smile!
I wanted to reiterate, that you were very brave and courageous by sharing the writing with your psych. It can be quite a challenge to begin to open up fully and be completely honest, and for some people, it can be so tricky and feel so daunting like it has for you and I.
I am proud of you for noticing what is helpful for you and the community at this time.
look forward to seeing you back when you're ready.The struggle of not seeing psych's over the Christmas/new year period is one I have struggled with myself too previously. For me, coming online, partaking in everyday life activities, connecting with others and using crisis lines when I need to has helped me get through that patch in previous years.
Feeling numb and disconnected are 2 emotions I really struggle with when they are combined together too. You're not alone in this
One step forward and then steps backwards can be quite common, I know I certainly faced it, and I'm sure lots of other people can relate on some level too. It's 100% okay to feel frustrated by it. It's okay to feel like you want to give up on trying to move forward, but know that progress is a challenge, you're trying to teach yourself/ your brain new ways to cope and handle things when you're feeling at your worst, and it's bloody tough. I do hope you're able to persevere through the tough parts and continue to work through them, even if it's slow progress, because when you take a step that you never thought you'd reach it's the most incredible and empowering feeling. I hope everyone who currently feels low and starting their journey is able to experience that someday
Thanks @Bee ❤
I needed to be reminded of that right now, so thank you. It gave me the little confidence boost that I'm in need of at the moment. I am glad I was finally able to give it to her and hoping it will get easier giving them to her as time goes on..
I felt like I really needed a break away from here because I wasn't in a good place and didn't want to be putting it on everyone else. But I have noticed I've been missing you guys and the connection so am going to try engage in a few more chats on here in the hope it'll keep me going till holidays are over and my psych is back. I do find RO helpful, sometimes it's just hard when things are really bad but you can't talk about it on here. Which I totally get. It's just hard.
Thanks heaps for your beautiful message. I really am wanting to get better so am fighting hard. Sometimes it's just so much easier said than done which you would know. But I'm trying my best to acknowledge that it won't all be smooth sailing. I'm also home now and seeing my family has triggered a lot of shit and also kind of made me want to get better even more so I can be there for them properly!!
Thanks again for your message ❤
But if I just need to get it off my chest and work through it myself, I find Turning Negatives to Positives to be a helpful exercise, and then I try to use other toolbox threads to help.
I get it, and that’s kind of where I’ve been the last couple days, in a space where I just don’t know if fighting is worth it. But there’s that part of me that knows that life isn’t all smooth sailing and that tough times will happen, and they happen for everyone. No one has a picture-perfect life 100% of the time – it’s just not realistic.I’m sorry to hear your family has been a trigger for you.
Thanks @Wathan 😊
Thanks @Taylor-RO, I think my parents have caught on at how easily I become exhausted because they haven't been pushing me as much the last couple days which has been nice. I feel guilty that mum and I just sat around the house most of the day yesterday because I'm not here for long, but I just don't physically have the energy to do anything. Plus it's rediculously hot here so makes it even worse! They've asked if I want to help renovate my grandads house, and I do because it's not fair on them to be doing it all, but I'm also dreading it because last time I tried everyone was calling me lazy because I wasn't doing as much as them. Like they were saying it all in a joking way but it still really hurt because I just wished I had their energy!! Anyway, I've tried to warn them that I'll need a day or two of nothing before I do help out. So hopefully I can muster up some energy💪
Thanks @Bee, I do need to start using some of those other chats a bit more. I loved the Xmas gifs one the other day because they're just great ways to take my mind off things and have a laugh with like minded people. 😊❤
The xmas gif thread is amazing! So many awesome ones! We also have a gif/meme thread in hanging out too! They are fun too! 😄
Hey guys,
I've been feeling pretty shitty lately and really struggling to get on top of things so I decided to spend yesterday and today reading over everyones messages again. I'm so sick of feeling this way and just want to be normal!!!!
I'm finding it really difficult not being able to contact my psych at the moment and just feeling pretty alone with everything because of it. Like I'm fine, I'm surrounded by my family but they don't know about my mental health or anything so I just keep finding myself wanting to call my psych to talk things out.
Spending yesterday and today alone has kinda helped a bit though and left me with some time to reflect which has been nice.
While I was reading through all your amazing responses I took note of a lot of it in my phone, and also made this to add to my folder so thought you guys might like to see it 😊
I don't know why, but I just felt like sharing it with you all to let you know I really am trying hard to fight and that your messages of support mean a lot to me. I really am trying hard to take on everyones amazing advice!!!
So I just wanted to say thankyou. Reading your messages back has reminded me I am not alone in this and that there is so much I can do to help pull myself out.
Honestly, THANK YOU.
This community is amazing. ❤
P.S. I hope you guys can all benefit from everyones advice I wrote down too!! 😊
Awww @MB95 I really love your post! That's so lovely and genuinely made me smile. You have quoted/written down two suggestions that I gave you! I love that you have found many of our suggestions helpful .
Writing down suggestions like you have is a really good idea to remind yourself of how to cope when feeling down. It acts as a great reminder when one's thoughts are becoming too overwhelming. I absolutely loved the advice "practice difficult conversations with your dog first - they're great listeners" - it made me giggle... and it's accurate too. Your dog will listen, ESPECIALLY if you have food in your hands. You'll have their full attention.
Thanks @Maddy-RO, I'm glad you like it 😊 I just thought it would be something helpful I could look at quickly, rather than needing to scroll through to find what you guys suggested. I have the WORST memory so I'm hoping this will make it easier for me when I'm feeling really overwhealmed.
You all had so many helpful suggestions!! The others I wrote down are from @Alison5 @Bee @TOM-RO @Jess1-RO but I also wrote a heap of things into my phone from so many others! It was just really nice to read back over and reflect on them, so thanks guys.
I've been feeling really off and alone lately but I could feel the support through all your messages so just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate it ❤ And now that I physically have things written down, it's a small reminder that I'm not alone like I feel I am.
The dog one is great hey @Maddy-RO ? 😂 I also LOVE your GIF! 😍
Hi @MB95,
I am still catching up on all the threads from over the Christmas break, and saw this amazing mind map you have made. Such a great idea to collate the ideas from the community
Having something visual to prompt when you are feeling overwhelmed is brilliant, I might try this for myself and recommend this strategy for others too 
Hi guys,
My anxiety is through the roof today and I just need someone to talk to and be brutally honest with so I hope you guys don't mind. I just need some advice and opinions..
Basically I'm trying to find somewhere to live atm for my year of uni and I found a place with some housemates that seem cool except it's unfinished. So today I went looking at furniture and I was so out of my comfort zone I felt sick. I was so nervous and couldn't stop shaking and the fact everything is so expensive made it worse cause I told myself I was stupid for even thinking I could make this work. My psych actually called while I was out looking to confirm our appointment for tomorrow and for some reason that just made me feel even worse. Like my anxiety started going next level. I just freaked and had to bail and give up on the whole thing.
So I went to the shopping centre cause I had to fill a script and the whole time I was shaking cause I thought everyone was looking at me and judging me. Like deep down I know they're not but when I'm in that state I can't seem to talk myself out of it. I just wanted to get what I needed and get out. Shops stress me out enough as it is let alone when I'm like that already.
I felt like I was going to vomit so I went and got some food and forced myself to eat cause I hadn't eaten anything yet and wondered if that wasn't helping. But I also have this bad habit of eating shit food and lots of it till I feel even worse about myself when I'm going through those emotions. Like I bought a hotdog, milkshake and doughnuts and pretty much inhaled it before feeling worse and telling myself how pathetic and gross I am and that I should know better not to give into it because it never ends well. Then the numbness and the self harm/suicidal/worthless thoughts creep in and that's pretty much me done for the day.
I just don't know how to deal with it. It's like one moment I'm only slightly anxious and am able to keep it mostly under control and then the next it's impossible to get a grip on and I just have to bail and go to somewhere I feel comfortable and safe with no one around!? I hate it and I'm so over it!!!!! I'm so sick of trying so hard to fight it and then always ending up back here.
I just wanted to know if anyone else experiences the same sorts of things? Especially with the whole stress eating thing? And how you might deal with it? Cause I really am trying!!!! 😔
