struggling
i am sorry i havent been here and havent been as supportive as i normally would. i have been really busy but also my mental health has really gone downhill along with my physical health. i am in the middle of getting some tests to confirm whether i have a form of cancer or if it something else causing these symptoms/ i am struggling quite badly where im at the point that im struggling to even ask for help, see the point in seeking support or even wanting to ask now. its not really the way i wanted to come back and i know i dont deserve support esp for being so neglectful here but it would be much appreciated if i could have some support and help.
Hi @scared01, just wanted to let you know that we are here for you- whatever you need to get off you chest, whenever you need a listening ear 
Holding hope for you that today is a better day
even when I tell others my thoughts I get yelled at or pushed aside or they just don't get it.
Hi @scared01,
How you are feeling is definitely important to me I'm so sorry to hear that when you have put into words how you are feeling and what you are thinking, that you haven't been met with the support and understanding you deserve It so courageous to be vulnerable and express how you are feeling to others, and I hope that the forums give you the listening and supporting ear that you deserve
You have mentioned feeling really stressed, would you like to talk a little bit about what is going on you for this week?
Hi @Jess1-RO
I am stressed because there has been constant conflict in the family and im now the one having to go around and fix it all, my sugury has been moved up to a closer 40 days! so now I only have 3 and abit weeks to have everything organised from my house, to home care, to carers for my caree, bills, saving and all the rest that needs to be done or that I would like done.
theres so much to do since last week it honestly doesn't feel like im getting anywhere.
yesterday it took me over an hour to do a pre-admission form and that's not all of it, that's the basic things, the rest is done the day before with an appointment with the nurses at the allocated hospital.
Hi @scared01,
So much on your shoulders at the moment, completely understandable that you are feeling stressed right now It sounds like you have a clear idea about what things you need to do before going in for the surgery in a few weeks time and have really thought it through. I know we have spoken before about your caring responsibilities at home, and the role you play in supporting your family. Have there been any services that have supported you with setting up the care necessary for your family while you are focussing on your health?
These next few weeks, if you are feeling stressed and need to put the words somewhere you will be heard, or need a distraction, please lean on us It's what we are here for
there is a lot I know that needs to be done, its just trying to fit it all in and working out where to start I guess. I have a big list of stuff to do that's for sure.
im looking into services now to help with caring but I still need to organise home care for myself while im recovering.
Hey @scared01 hopefully the local carer services in your area will be able to help - how have you gone with linking in with them?
Thinking of you
Hey @scared01 🙂
Long time no talk! It's great that you've prioritised the tasks, and it sounds like you've got a lot done already. How are you going today?
It doesn't feel like ive done a lot today even though I have done some things. I still need to ring 2 more places, try to get a load of rubbish to the tip and try to get some cleaning done in the spare bedroom
im still super stressed mixed in with a lot anxiety and fear as well cause of the op
Hey @scared01 Hope you hear back about the loan soon - sitting with that anxiety isn't a nice feeling. It sounds like you got some good goals for the day, hope you get some things ticked off your list 🙂
waiting for the outcome of the loan is abit of the worst part. itll determine how much stress and extra work im going to have to undergo within a month to be able to afford to go.
ive managed to get a few things done today. mostly making and rearranging appointments again but they are all for this months so itll make progress as the appointments come and go as well.
It sounds like a lot is dependant on this loan? That must a tough and uncomfortable feeling to sit with. Great that you got some things done today! I personally love checking things off a list.. something about it is really satisfying. I think you have been doing an amazing job lately. All of these tests and appointments has been really anxiety provoking for you -but you've made it through those times. Good on you im selling things, working more, just to put whatever I can away for saving or to get other things repaired like a new antenna and help with a backyard cleanup.
ive started making my list, I found it really overwhelming to start with as I listed everything including the things I have already done just to make sure I wasn't forgetting something or didn't miss something in there but when I was already able to tick some things off I felt abit better and more accomplished seeing that even though I felt like I wasn't getting anywhere I am getting things done.
Thinking of you @scared01 and sending you the best of luck with the loan
Well done for being so proactive, especially with that list. It sounds like a great way to keep on top of things.
I believe in you!
I'm a list person as well - i feel like they keep me sane
sending my best wishes to you 🙂
im trying to get as much done as I possibly can. im embarrassed at the state of my house so I really want to focus on that for the next few days while im waiting on workmen to do repairs and things. its abit hard cause the appointments are so spread out as well so I cant really do much list checking till those are done too.
im taking some time here and there for myself. mostly just watching some movies or chatting on here.
Hey @scared01
I agree with everyone - it's awesome that you're taking such a proactive approach with all of this. Creating the list was an awesome idea, and even though lists can sometimes be overwhelming, they can also make you feel prepared and on top of everything, which is a great feeling.
It's awesome that you are taking some time out for yourself as well. You are doing all the right things . What self-care might you do for yourself today?
I guess part of the overwhelm and being frantic and overly prepared for things is because this will be my first surgery. not only is it my first surgery its also the longest time I will have been away from the person I care for and even with supports I worry how he will be, I am also 2 hours away from home, in a city I don't know, in a hospital im unfamiliar with. everything is way out of my comfort zone. the things with family are tricky. weve worked out the boundaries as in they wont be far away if I need them but they aren't going to pester me they will let me msg them if I need something and just msg every now and then if they haven't heard from me in more then an hour or so. I have to go to the preoperation appointments on my own so im feeling quite overwhelmed with it all.
ive been at work all day. both of them actually so ive only just finished and got home from about 7 oclock this morning. ive just put an easy dinner on, made myself a cup of tea and put on a movie to watch. I think that's a good start, ill have a shower abit later too
Hey @scared01 🙂
It sounds prettry scary to be having a surgery so far away from home and the people you love 😞
Wow, I think it's great you've already sorted out the boundaries. You seem very prepared. Dinner and a movie sounds awesome! What's the dinner and movie?
