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Turning Negatives Into Positives
At the suggestion of Lightuptheworld, I thought I'd start another 'Turning Negatives into Positives' thread like there is on the old forum. Below is a quote from Antria who started the thread on the previous forum which I think explains the idea of the thread quite well.
"Sometimes it can be helpful to turn our thinking around and begin to challenge the way we look at things. Turning negatives into positives is a way of doing this! Basically, think of something that happened today, this week, this month or at some other time that felt negative and see if you can find a positive in it (or that came out of it)."
I find posting in this thread really helps me to look at things in a different way or see positives that I might not have noticed if I'm in a negative headspace. I'll start the ball rolling:
Negative: My friend didn't turn up to class this morning and I was worried I would be alone because I don't really know anyone else in the class.
Positive: It gave me a chance to sit with new people and get to know them better 🙂
Over to you!
It is a huge positive that you were able to use self-help techniques and stay physically safe @Bee don't under-estimate how big a challenge that is! How are you feeling now?
PS. This thread is about to get to 100 pages. That 100 pages of kicking negative thinking's ass!
*shrugs* I've been on that much of a rollercoaster today that I don't even know. Overall though I think I'm at my worst. I have been since seeing the gp about all this. Could that have been a trigger? I just know that usually I don't feel like hurting myself consecutive days in a row, and usually I can struggle my way out after a couple days, where as this, it's been 3 weeks nearly where is nearly constant in my head. I was feeling bad before hand, but nothing like this I don't think. And I want so bad to share with someone the actual thoughts going through my head, but here it'd break community guidelines, which I really don't want to do - they're there for a reason! And elsewhere it'd only make people worry about my safety, and I just don't think I can handle the whole 'duty of care' situation properly...
I had a couple good days though, I posted in the art challenges, I did #4 but never got to posting it. And then my mood dropped again.
I've been trying to open up to 'friends' (class mates) but I get either nothing or "not good" and I just feel like it's a waste of time and effort trying to communicate with anyone, because it always come across as though I'm being annoying or stupid or whatever. It feels like no one wants me around... And maybe that's all in my head. But it's so hard to deal with. It's so hard to watch myself fake a smile, and fake laugh with my customers, while inside I'm holding back the tears that now run down my face. It's so hard to walk in to work portraying I'm ok, when most times I just want to burst into tears, but I have to hold it in until I am alone where I can let it all out. And I HATE the stupid reactions when I say I'm having a bad day to some customers "oh you're not supposed to say that" "oh don't say that" as if we're not allowed to be anything but good or superb or brilliant or excellent. What if I am not that? What if I don't want to be that What if I just want to feel ok? Is that not enough?
Neg: Researched other psychologists in town, found 2 others which I'm happy with the location and the feel of the place/ website for them. But I don't know costs or anything. There is also other factors for both which make me weary to attend. I just don't know how to decide. Do I wait to see if my first choice ever rings back? Or do I try again Monday? Also office hours are only 9-1pm
Pos: I left a message, I can wait a couple more business days to see if she returns my call, or I can try again and see if I reach her. I can call (or text if I'm not up to it) the other 2 and find out some more info before I fully decide...
Neg: Feeling so alone in all of this. Not even feeling like I can talk to eheadspace about it. Our last chat was for me to her her know details to contact the psych and talk to her about my history so I didn't have to start from scratch, then to have a web chat after the first session. I kinda feel bad to email her and say I'm really struggling. 😞
Pos: I know it's ok to not always make the progress so quick. She knows how hard it's been for me to do this.
Neg: I kinda feel guilty about so many things where that's concerned. 😞
Pos: at the end of the day they are in place to help young people like myself on this journey (although sometimes it doesn't make it any easier)
Neg: Feeling so very unsure of everything right now...
Pos: I need some distraction of some sort I think...
Neg: Feeling like a complete worthless mess
Pos: Maybe its a sign I need to give myself a break from everything I have been so busy.
negative: missed out on one of the best oppurtunities for me to do spmething good with my life because i was too disorganised
pos: there will be other things,or i can try again in a year.
Positive: haven't felt this good in many months. And mania isn't that bad lol
Negative: Woke up yesterday at 3pm and today at 5am due to jetlag and I'm not very happy about it
Positive: At least today isn't a wasted day like yesterday and I have a lot more time to get things in order now that I'm home
Negative: In a rough patch right now. Can't even focus on anything 😞
Pos: I replied to eheadspace' last email, maybe I'll get a reply in a few days...
Neg: Feeling really over life right now. No desire for anything. Feeling really shit..
Pos: It'll pass. It always does.
Neg: I'm sick of feeling so shit.
Pos: I'm trying I guess?
Negative: I haven't been coping so well with a lot of things, and I'm really struggling not to fall back into SH'ing habits. 😞
Positive: I've managed to convey my struggles with eheadspace, who have sent out 2 emails in the last few days, one from a clinician so I knew my email was received and been seen, the other by my allocated clinician. Both which helped me a little, feel less alone and issolated.
Negative: Feeling really shitty tonight. My day at work finished on a terrible note, and I kinda just want to cry about it, but I have no tears to cry! 😞 I can't even focus on any good moments which may have happened today.
Positive: I don't even know what to draw from this.
Negative: I'm annoyed at my body because this time last night I was asleep, and although I woke disorientated this morning, I'm still wishing I could be asleep right now!! - It'd be better than letting my mind ruminate like it is! ðŸ˜
Positive: I'm trying to calm down. Maybe some music will help?
Negative: I want to badly to be able to talk to someone about half the shit in my head. I'm just so over keeping it all there. I'm so over not being listened to. I want so badly for someone to really listen to me!
Positive: I'm working towards that. Eheadspace has been amazing with me thus far. My clinician supporting me through my decisions thus far and really trying to help me, help myself.
Negative: I'm scared to start working face to face with someone for a few reasons. What if they don't understand me like KHL did, or Eheadspace does now? What if they push me too fast? into something I'm not ready? What if they leave just as I really start to feel okay with them, (like my dentist has 😞 )? What if I just can't verbalise anything? At all? Then what? What if I just can't do it? I'm so caught up in it all. I'm petrified. I'm scared out of my mind. And nothing makes any sense to me right now. I feel a complete mess.
Positive: I can raise these with eheadspace. I can work strategies around it. I'm really trying to make a better change!
Negative: The urge to SH hasn't died down much since finishing work - 2 hours ago! 😮 😞 I'm scared of myself.
Positive: I'm going to be okay. I'm going to focus on tomorrow! I get my hair cut! I'm going to plug my hard-drive in and watch some glee to take me to another place...
Neg: Not really feeling any better today than yesterday. Feeling so tired, lacking in so much energy and motivation.
Pos: I'm not feeling as vulnerable tonight as what I was last night!
Neg: One of my work colleagues, who I was starting to feel really okay with after only sharing a few shifts the last couple months, is leaving. He had his last shift today...
Pos: I have his number and can text for a chat when I have time. He's a pretty funny guy and really made me feel alive when working with him! He'll come back during class break, maybe I'll get to see him again
Neg: Found out last night someone ice-creamed my car! 😠Which only spun me further into an emotional and vulnerable place. I felt like the police weren't even taking me serisouly. It's not like the car was sitting on the road, it was on private property, but they still targeted me! 😞 Worse still I have an idea, but no proof of who did it. I hate it.
Pos: I got it cleaned off and no damage was caused. It sucks, but I just have to ignore it, and monitor it...
Neg: My mind is a mess, my room is a mess, and I can't find anything, which in turn is only making me feel more messed up! Yet I have no energy or motivation to clean any of it! 😞 Just blergh. Exhausted. Tired. Over life.
Pos: It's still half livable! lol I have Sunday off, so I can clean it then - take me time and relax if I can!
Neg: Feeling so issolated and alone in life. Really not connecting with anyone very well. Feel like I'm faking the life I'm living. Wishing I could stop pretending!
Pos: I'm trying. I'm doing my best. I'm connecting with people as best I can. I know my relationships are all weak/non-esistant because I haven't had a chance to really invest in them. I've been too tired or not coping emotionally to put the extra effort in.
Neg: I feel like this is all getting on top of me, like I'm letting depression and anxieties rule my life. I feel too weak to fight back...
Pos: I'm on the road to recovery! I'm trying to look after myself.
Hey @Bee it sounds like you're having a really hard time at the moment, but those postive spins you've managed to put on it are great! Hope you start feeling a bit better soon, is there someone like a friend or a family member that you feel like you can talk to about some of this?
There isn't anyone close I can talk to. I have an apt with eheadspace on Wednesday...
Positive: I need to remember they are only urges, I don't have to act on them. I haven't acted as of yet today.
Negative: didn't feel like getting out of bed
Positive: my mum made me get up, and we watched something together. At least it distracted me away from my problems for a while.
Thanks @joshie
No thanks @Sophie-RO , I have come across others online but I'm sure if I even managed to join them, I'd find it too weird to actually participate/whatever. Probably for the best that it's gone nowhere if I can't even figure myself out.
Negative: Some friends are all going out tonight, didn't bother inviting me.
Positive: Some quiet time at home to do what I have to do.
Neg - Still not really feeling 100% even though I've been trying to improve
Pos - I've been trying to be more persistent and there have been signs of improvement
@FootyFan26 that's cool that the persistence is paying off a bit. Do you mind me asking what you're working on? Maybe we can help and at the very least i want to know so i can be like "yaaay goo FootyFan!
@Ben-RO Just trying to reduce the amount of negative self talk or at least try to stop it earlier. It's pretty fucking hard though and doesn't seem to be making a huge diff atm.
Negative self-talk is VERY hard to change i know @j95 has found that tough too.
Okay i'm making a thread for us. This is a thing now.
P.s it's really cool that you are tackling that, it's one of the most powerful and amazing things we can do for our health, but also it makes life in general way more awesome.
@Ben-RO wrote:Okay i'm making a thread for us. This is a thing now.
Well that was a quick decision 😛
Positive: lol I deserve it, idiot.
Neg: I feel small, lost, alone and sad today.
Pos: I've been trying to distract myself with music, and the forums is helping, reminding me that I'm not all alone
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