[CHAT] Forgiveness
originally posted on 23-07-2017 12:20 AM
FORGIVENESS! 
If a person hurt us there are two ways to go about it; either ignore it and move on or to take revenge and be even. It's not always easy to take the high road, to just forgive and let go when someone's done you wrong. It maybe intentional or unintentional but it already did some damage. I know that it takes a lot of courage to forgive someone and forgiving is one step forward into breathing more easier! But what good does hurting another person do to you? It doesn't make you any better. But standing by and ignoring your hurt feelings isn't good either. So here we are stick in a pickle!
But how do we forgive the people that hurt us? Would you choose to take the high road? How long does it take to forgive someone that hurt us? Do we choose who we forgive? Can you still go back to the way it was? Are we capable of giving them a second chance?
Come and join us on the 7th of August at 7:30 pm AEST to discuss ways we can forgive and forget and share your thoughts about forgiveness! If you have any questions, feel free to comment!
Event Details
07 Aug 2017, 9:30 AM UTC
07 Aug 2017, 11:30 AM UTC
attending RSVPS (0)
originally posted on 28-08-2017 8:41 PM
Forgiveness is hard. Trying to forgive someone who hurt me very badly but didnt know what she was doing due to mental illness. The anger is so strong. Not an easy path to take to forgive her when she hasnt yet acknowledged her mental illness and is unable to accept responsibility due to the illness.
originally posted on 28-08-2017 8:43 PM
Ugh that is very hard @Arrow it's tough when a person doesn't understand the impact they have had because of the illness 😞
originally posted on 07-08-2017 5:41 PM
Hey! I thought i'd send a bunch of you a quick tag to remind you this chat is on tonight! If you haven't joined in on a GR before it's pretty easy, just answer any of the discussions questions you'd like, or chat to other people about what they think about the topic 🙂 Hope to see you online 🙂
@Ben-RO @Drake123455ggg @rah0_0rah @Spellicupnibba @jono-RO @Michelle2311 @scared01 @SebastianStark @UnknownOne @Oli68 @BeatingHeart @Lordie @DruidChild @NightNadder23 @StrangerBeliever @amypayten @poscomp @BunnyWalks @Folksha @Briribria @Anonymous @samirajar49 @Coco_sydney @Eden1717 @Arrow @Trikle Trade @Justin_dufner @BooksGalore @AlexandriaD @li-kris @li-jeff @Jollylauren @jacjac137 @snorlax00 @daneRO @Medha @li-medha @tigersoo @amina550 @Lacholenco @Georgiewelky @codeblue @maximiser @bbeach1 @Zero Melody @jvkn @Coolguy5577 @Serenea @Jays_Wing @ClCl @Alec29 @Meowkins @Steph_SaneAustralia @Bleh @Alice218 @easypeazy @ozfoodhunter @rexy19 @sidthesillydog @TinaSola @KiKi_19 @mcj @Awkward gal @timelord_sweetie @Lopjorkh @meesha @li-upgrade @Sx @Sophie-RO @Cheyenne @Wildstar @jamesrivard @AStudyInHuman @wh1rlwind @Naki @w_loadtest1 @test_winfrey7191 @Obse @Ryn @blank @BooksforLife @rxsegold @MaxCaulfield @louie6800 @utterly @triage @Flareshu @Noel-Moneycare @sudjai332211za @dahamferry @lexsmith @tom789 @cookies @WalkingInTheWind @dreamchaser97 @Goingincircles @Zephyrr_
originally posted on 08-08-2017 6:37 PM
Hey @Georgiewelky. If you're looking for the discussion, it was on Monday at 7:30 PM. You're welcome to join our next week one at exactly the same time!
originally posted on 07-08-2017 7:31 PM
Welcome!, Tonight we'll be talking about forgiveness!
Forgiveness is not always easy. It's often very hard. Hopefully this GR can help generate a few ideas and help us all onto the right track 🙂
If at all you find this conversation distressing or you feel like you need to talk to someone, about an issue then it's time to get some help! You can call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 or use their webchat and email services found on their respective sites. The links can be found here. If you are new here then welcome! Have a quick peek at our community guidelines you can find them here!
originally posted on 07-08-2017 7:53 PM
Hey. I'm just quickly popping in cause I gotta go to my game but I like this topic. It's a really tricky one and it's something I've had to learn to deal with. I've had to learn to forgive a parent who has done some unforgivable things that still takes its toll on me. Forgiveness for me is a path of self-realisation. That I am more worth more than the 'bully' or the person that has done something unforgivable. It's accepting what I cannot control of others but knowing that I have complete control over what I choose to do with it. To me forgiveness is sort of like acceptance but not submission. I won't tolerate someone intentionally causing harm but forgiveness I feel is better than anger and hate..which i dealt with for a long time. I agree that it also means to 'let go' - to let go of the hate and know that there is still light.
originally posted on 07-08-2017 7:56 PM
@mspaceK totally agree with you on forgiveness being acceptance rather than submission. It's part of finding peace with what's happened. I'm not a forgive and forget kind of person - you gotta take everything you learn in life with you I reckon.originally posted on 07-08-2017 8:04 PM
originally posted on 07-08-2017 7:59 PM
I love that perspective @mspaceK!!originally posted on 07-08-2017 8:23 PM
3. What are some of the benefits of forgiveness? (consider the benefits that are available for both yourself and the other person/people)
- Nothing is being held on the other person
- They don't have that weight on their shoulders
- You can accept that you've been wronged...
- and learn from it!
- It's a good way to prevent more confrontation
- You can build a better relationship with the other person
originally posted on 07-08-2017 8:27 PM
Forgiveness can be hard, however when accomplished, we generally forget that it can also be very beneficial for our health (emotionally, mentally and physically)
originally posted on 07-08-2017 8:37 PM
Ok everyone, here's the next question 🙂4. What are some of the negatives involved in refusing to forgive somebody? (for both yourself and the other person)
originally posted on 07-08-2017 8:51 PM
4. What are some of the negatives involved in refusing to forgive somebody?
- Could ruin the relationship
- Make them feel more guilty than they are
- Could make you feel guilty for making them feel guilty if later on you want to forgive them but can't contact them
originally posted on 07-08-2017 8:40 PM
What are some of the negatives involved in refusing to forgive somebody? (for both yourself and the other person)For you:
- you continue harbouring negative feelings which may affect your overall mental health
- you spend unnecessary time in an overly negative mindset
- it may ruin your relationship/friendship with that person
- it may ruin your relationship/friendship with other people connected to that person
For them
- they may have a ruined relationship/friendship with you
- they harbour guilt about the event
- you both have broken communication over the issue
originally posted on 07-08-2017 9:01 PM
I've spent a long time trying to forgive the person who repeatedly told me to kill myself. For a long time I kept trying to forgive her and I even thought I did. I think to this day I still haven't fully forgiven her because a part of me can't let go of something as big as that. While I continue to try to forgive her, some of the negatives for me are that it remains on the back of my head to bite me every time things get tough. I'm stuck in mud so to speak.originally posted on 07-08-2017 9:08 PM
@LadyMacbeth00, I think that's where the line of forgiveness get a little bit blurry. There's been some instances where someone has made me feel unsafe or scared, and I feel like forgiving them is a whole different ball game because it's a much less trivial matter. However, the way that I like to look at things is that the kind of forgiveness that you give people like that (who do things so utterly horrible) is not letting them off the hook, it's refusing to harbour the negative energy that ultimately affects YOU. I doesn't mean you still have to be friends, or that you even have to talk, it's more about doing what's going to be good for you than making things easy for themoriginally posted on 07-08-2017 9:12 PM
Thanks @RevzZ and @basketofmonkeys. I think ultimately forgiveness is one of those things that really takes a lot of strength and will power and those are two things I really don't have much of right now... and yes I agree with both of you.
originally posted on 07-08-2017 9:10 PM
@basketofmoneys kind of like not saying "yeah its all good" but more like"that happened to me and it wasn't good but i have grown from it"
originally posted on 07-08-2017 9:18 PM
yeah i get what you mean @Ben-RO because it gets to a point where carrying it around and letting it affect you doesn't do anything, it doesn't help and it can hold you back.just speaking from my experience...
originally posted on 07-08-2017 9:10 PM
When somebody does something that I think of as unforgiveable, I think the process is more about letting go. Not about being friends with them, not even letting them know that you're over it, just working on getting yourself to the point where it doesn't impact you anymore is the ultimate goal for me.originally posted on 07-08-2017 9:08 PM
I know that feeling @LadyMacbeth00 a bit too well. I'm a little bit of an overanalyser so I think of so many reasons why something happens and there's always the negatives thoughts too. It's tough having it as a constant reminder, isn't it?originally posted on 07-08-2017 9:03 PM
I guess this is a hard topic for me because i have heard people say how everyone deserves a second chance and forgiveness is the best way forward but shit, i don't know about that, theres certain people who don't deserve a second chanceoriginally posted on 07-08-2017 9:15 PM
@j95 wrote:
I guess this is a hard topic for me because i have heard people say how everyone deserves a second chance and forgiveness is the best way forward but shit, i don't know about that, theres certain people who don't deserve a second chance
I think that's right and to @j95 and @LadyMacbeth00 and when it's at that point as @basketofmonkeys said forgiveness isn't so much about second chances as it is about not carrying that hurt that you have suffered from the person around with you. Because doing so means that what they did becomes worse and worse for you over time :(. So maybe it's not so much forgiveness in that circumstance but letting go? Hmmm
