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Live Chat, Handling Friendship Drama, Monday the 17th of Feb, 7:30 pm AEDT

Time for another live chat my dudes! 😄

 

This round we'll be tackling How to Handle Friendship Drama, because we've definitely all been there and it sucks 😞

Whether it's people talking behind your back, being excluded, or having a fall out with one of your mates -it's all a bit much to deal with sometimes!

 

 

 

 

We're going to be discussing Friendship Drama -what it looks like and how to handle it- on Monday the 17th of February at 7:30 pm AEDT (no worries if you can only be on for part of the chat btw, there's no cut off!)

 

 

Hope to see you all then! Heart (Fair warning, I'll be spamming Friends gifs, i can feel it within my soul 😛 But if that's not incentive to join in, then I don't know what is Smiley LOL)

 

 

 

ReachOut has a bunch of resources that address friendships, so I thought I'd link them here to get thoughts going before Monday! 😄 There's a whole bunch, but some of them are:

 

  • 4 steps for coping with changing friendships
  • Why it's okay not to have a huge friendship group
  • How to make friends at school
  • 6 ways to take care of yourself when a friendship ends
  • 3 ways to end a toxic friendship
  • 10 things to do if you're feeling lonely
  • How to ask a friend if they're okay

(lotssss of lists -they're good, check 'em out! Heart :D)

 

ecla34
ecla34Posted 14-02-2020 07:42 PM

Comments

 
Tay100
Tay100Posted 17-02-2020 11:55 AM
I'll try and look at the content here when I can (read: when my hectic schedule allows me)! Looking forward to seeing all the great discussion!
 
 
Bananatime04
Bananatime04Posted 17-02-2020 03:10 PM
Thanks for the tag @Jess1-RO Heart unfortunately I have gym tonight so I might be 30 minutes late but I’ll try join in at 8pm is when I finish 🙂
 
 
 
Janine-RO
Janine-ROPosted 17-02-2020 03:22 PM

This is such a fantastic topic for a GR, I'm sorry I can't make it tonight but I'm really looking forward to catching up on the discussion in the coming days. Thanks so much @ecla34  for getting the ball rolling on this, I hope it's a great chat 🙂 

 
 
 
 
ecla34
ecla34Posted 17-02-2020 06:40 PM

@Tay100 @Janine-RO @Jess1-RO looking forward to hearing your insights later this week!  😄 Heart

@Bananatime04 sweet! hope to see you later Heart

 
 
 
 
 
ecla34
ecla34Posted 17-02-2020 07:24 PM

Welcome to tonight's GR, we're chatting about Friendship Drama!

 

 

If at all you find this conversation distressing or you feel like you need to talk to someone, about an issue then it's time to get some help! You can call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 or use their webchat and email services found on their respective sites. The links can be found here. If you are new here then welcome! Have a quick peek at our community guidelines you can find them here!

 
 
 
 
 
WheresMySquishy
WheresMySquishyPosted 17-02-2020 07:36 PM

Hi everyone!

Here's our first question:
What types of things can cause drama within/between friendship groups?

giphy

 
 
 
 
 
Tay100
Tay100Posted 18-02-2020 12:15 PM

1. What types of things can cause drama within/between friendship groups?

 

In my experience, drama is often caused by simple things like miscommunication or wrong impressions, or misunderstandings that can lead to resentments or hurt feelings.

 

 

2. Have you ever had drama in a friendship? If so, how did you deal with it? Was this productive? Do you wish you had done anything differently?

 

Of course- we took time to cool off and then talked about it frankly, face to face- not via social media where things can be misinterpreted or may be taken out of context or quoted in a negative light. It was very productive. One thing I'd do differently is meet in a private space as we met in a coffee shop- a public space wasn't the greatest place for the sensitive matter we were discussing. We felt a bit exposed, much the gif below!

 

 

 

3. Have you ever been excluded or pushed aside in a friendship group or cohort? What did you do in this situation?

 

I've never been pushed out per se, but I've definitely felt like an outsider, the most disposable, never anyone's favourite or top priority. I try to just think about what I value about each individual in the group and not take it personally. 

 

 

4 When drama gets overwhelming how can we take a step back whilst maintaining a good friendship outside of what’s going on?

 

Ohhh what a question- can you really ever step back though and remain neutral? I think it's a matter of recognising that it may permeate your relationship with a person and/or the group dynamics and vamping u your self-care techniques and reaching out to family and other support networks. Gain your strength and recharge outside of the friendship so you can face the problem with fresh eyes.

 

 

5. Following on from the last question, what are some signs that there is too much drama to keep the friendship alive? Have you ever had a friendship end because of drama? How did you cope with this?

 

Thankfully no, I've never had that experience so I can't speak to it. I tend to take a more preventative approach. What I mean is, I make sure my some of my self-care takes place outside of socialising, and I make sure I get plenty of alone time and take breaks between seeing friends so that I can rest and look forward to seeing them again.

 

 

 

 
 
 
 
 
xXLexi_Lou122Xx
xXLexi_Lou122XxPosted 17-02-2020 09:01 PM
Sorry I’m a bit late guys! I completely forgot about it until I saw @ecla34’s post on another thread! 🙂

1.I agree with @ecla34 on this one, where EVERYTHING can cause drama. Even if its just an off day!

(Warning, I might spam this thread with my answers, until I’m caught up... :P)
 
 
 
 
 
WheresMySquishy
WheresMySquishyPosted 17-02-2020 09:05 PM

Hi @xXLexi_Lou122Xx! I'm so excited to read your answers! 🙂

 
 
 
 
 
ecla34
ecla34Posted 17-02-2020 09:04 PM

yay @xXLexi_Lou122Xx glad to see you! spam away! 😛 Smiley LOL

 
 
 
 
 
Hozzles
HozzlesPosted 17-02-2020 09:05 PM

@xXLexi_Lou122Xx don't worry, I'm planning to spam in a minute too, to catch up! Smiley LOL

 
 
 
 
 
RevzZ
RevzZPosted 17-02-2020 07:45 PM

What types of things can cause drama within/between friendship groups?

Disagreements I guess? There are so many things people disagree on but I guess that makes us all unique 🙂

Drama doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing either! You can have good drama, like a good TV series making a return.

 

Tagging people online just in case - apologies in advance if you didn't want to be tagged. Feel free to ignore the tag!

@Tiny_leaf @aebarrie12 @gmusicj @Anonymous 

 
 
 
 
 
aebarrie12
aebarrie12Posted 20-02-2020 08:52 PM

Hey thanks for tagging me, I’m in year 11, VCE the scary year 😂. I have been having not really trouble but my friend was not yelling at me but is mad at me because I move super slow and take my time, but everyone goes in their own pace , this was in cooking. I feel a little tension between me and him. What do I do?

 
 
 
 
 
Tay100
Tay100Posted 22-02-2020 12:37 PM
Hi there

Maybe just give him some space and address the issue not in the heat of the moment, when you could be distracted by the cooking you are doing? Maybe you could try and ask him ways that you guys could work better as a team, and use both your strengths? That way your individual cooking/work paces can be seen as a positive thing and the tension won't escalate if you take more a positive approach and address it head-on?

Let me know if that helps!
 
 
 
 
 
Bre-RO
Bre-ROPosted 21-02-2020 04:16 PM

Hey @aebarrie12 

 

I think you're totally right - everyone moves at their own pace! It would be a little unsettling to feel tension between yourself and a friend. What you do comes down to what you feel comfortable with, do you feel like you could say that everyone moves at their own pace? Or bring it up in some way? 

 
 
 
 
 
Hozzles
HozzlesPosted 17-02-2020 09:10 PM

Catch up time... Smiley LOL

1. What types of things can cause drama within/between friendship groups?
Like @ecla34 and @xXLexi_Lou122Xx said... literally everything. I've had big arguments about pencils, and one time when I was thirteen I was having a bad day and thought my friend was laughing at the book I was reading, which for some reason offended me? But really, she was laughing because the title was similar to an inside joke we had. Someone's mood on a given day can definitely cause them to tolerate less than what they normally could, which might start drama.

Some other things that are common can include feeling excluded, dating, breaking boundaries, and gossip.

 
 
 
 
 
WheresMySquishy
WheresMySquishyPosted 17-02-2020 09:18 PM

@Hozzles  I totally agree with you about how someone's mood can impact how they perceive things! After my surgeries, I didn't feel like doing anything other than lying down, watching Netflix or listening to music. When my family members asked me to make decisions or do something I would get really annoyed with them, and still do. While they thought they were just asking simple questions, I perceived it more like nagging.

 
 
 
 
 
ecla34
ecla34Posted 17-02-2020 09:24 PM

@WheresMySquishy and @Hozzles the fact that drama can be so context and mood dependent really shows how important it can be to try talk things out before they become super big!!

 

Last questions guys!

 

Do you have any advice to others who are going through friendship troubles? How can we handle friendship drama in a positive way?
How can you help someone if you see / know they are struggling with issues within a friendship?
 
 
(this is me shoe-horning in another friends gif, even if it's only tangentially related Smiley LOL)
 
 
 
 
 
WheresMySquishy
WheresMySquishyPosted 17-02-2020 09:35 PM
Do you have any advice to others who are going through friendship troubles? How can we handle friendship drama in a positive way?
How can you help someone if you see / know they are struggling with issues within a friendship?
I think it's important to remember that just because you've had a bad experience with someone from a particular group, it doesn't mean that you'll have bad experiences in the future. Some people are just jerks and there are some really lovely, supportive people out there.
I also believe that a few disagreements or arguments don't necessarily mean that a friendship has to end. I believe that people can heal and move on from betrayals under the right circumstances. Dramas may also seem like a big thing now, but they don't usually matter in the long run. Even if a friendship ends, you can always meet new people. You could ask yourself, 'Will this matter in five years?'
@ecla34  @Hozzles  I also agree that communication is key! A lot of issues can be resolved just by talking about them. Sometimes, people don't know that they've offended you until you tell them.
I also think that there's a lot of value in letting someone know that they can come to you for support. I've always appreciated when someone has done a fun activity with me to take my mind off dramas.
 
 
 
 
 
xXLexi_Lou122Xx
xXLexi_Lou122XxPosted 17-02-2020 09:31 PM
6. Oh boy, last question... 😛

I’m feeling a little bit faint now guys, so I’m probably going to leave this one. I’ll probably answer tomorrow when I can, if I’m feeling better.

Thanks for the chat guys!
 
 
 
 
 
ecla34
ecla34Posted 17-02-2020 09:32 PM

oh no! No worries @xXLexi_Lou122Xx , i hope you feel better Heart Heart

 
 
 
 
 
xXLexi_Lou122Xx
xXLexi_Lou122XxPosted 17-02-2020 09:35 PM
I will @ecla34!

Goodnight @WheresMySquishy, @Hozzles, @ecla34! Thanks for the awesome chat!
Can’t wait to see anyone else’s answers tomorrow and after that!❤️
 
 
 
 
 
WheresMySquishy
WheresMySquishyPosted 17-02-2020 09:35 PM

Goodnight @xXLexi_Lou122Xx! I hope you can feel better. Heart

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